Economy Getting You Down? 5 Ways to Keep Money Stress Out of Marriage

I don't know about you, but when I'm worried about money, it's really hard for me to focus on anything else, whether it's work, my friendships, or my relationships. In fact, I spent this past weekend knee-deep in receipts and credit card statements, determined to get a better hold on my finances-and sticking to a budget. I made some cuts, including cancelling my gym membership and relying on the kindness of free passes given out by health clubs, deals offered by yoga centers, and good old-fashioned pavement pounding.

With my finances in such a flux, it's almost a relief to NOT be in a relationship. So many of my married friends are having money meltdowns on a daily basis-and they're not alone. Apparently, 23% of couples say they work together to plan their financial lives.

But, there is hope. Here, six ways to make sure your relationship isn't ruined by finances.

1. Go for a goal
Figuring out your financial goals may sound daunting, but it's nothing to dread: Sit down regularly to make a list - without consulting each other - of your money and life goals for three time periods: the short term (six months down the road), mid-term (six months to three years) and long term (over three years). Then, bring those to your partner to compare and see which goals you want to work to together.

More about how to create a shared financial future

2. Talk about Cash-Even if you're in a crunch
The best way to keep money fights at bay is to have regular pre-appointed money dates. During your money dates, make sure neither of you is stressed out or tired and that you don't have a big project (like filing your taxes) looming over you.

More about how to plan a smart-stress-free-money date.

3. Take account of all your accounts
When it comes to managing accounts - his? hers? ours? mine? - every couple has to find their own solution, which may take some time. The important thing is to take an honest look at both of your financial styles and set up a system that suits you, and also to be flexible and reassess it as your incomes and priorities evolve.

Read more about how to make sure you and your spouse are on the same money page

4. Reign in the Spending
Once a month, print out statements and budget spreadsheets and discuss them with your partner. Are any categories, such as utilities or groceries, bigger or smaller than you expected? Are there areas where you can cut spending to better meet your goals?

Read more about how to reign in spending and keep the romance

5. Sign up for savings
Keep in mind that how much you save, and where you save it, should be determined by the goals and priorities you and your partner agreed on. For instance, if your top goals are to retire and build your emergency fund, you might put away 5 to 10 percent of your pre-tax income toward retirement and 5 to 10 percent toward your emergency fund until you reach six months' savings, then continue building up your retirement accounts, as well as saving toward other big goals (a renovation or college fund). If you can't save 20 percent or even 10 percent (and many couples can't), just put something away through automatic savings. Simply getting into the habit of saving automatically - even $50 or $100 a month - will boost your chances of reaching your most important goals.

Read more tips on how to save with your spouse

What about you? Any financial tips that have made your life easier?


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Reprinted with permission of Hearst Communications, Inc.