"A man can hold your hands in his, that is how a relationship should be. He should be able to guide, lead, push. You need someone strong minded. His hands can and should be able to cover and protect you. Before you get into a relationship, watch consistency, is he building you up?"
Before I begin, I wanted to share a poem with you that I had written awhile back.
I just want more…
Now I know
He builds me up just to break me back down and
Cry sometimes because I am not sure of how and why he found
Enter into a serene moment after falling hard to an
Unruly hatred piece of a man,
wanted to grow again.
I found him or shall I say, I was found
It brought me back to a moment of peace,
for a moment
Because all I wanted was to be at ease,
not the case
I spent more time trying to be seen,
Be here for me
All of his ducks aren't in a row, I can see
and am worth
There's a reason why I started with the quote, and then the poem. I will get to that portion a bit later. What I noticed this year is that many females are going through the same dilemma when it comes to relationships. I know I said that my new blogs would be about self evaluation, but this topic has been recent amongst my circle of friends. We all want to fill a void; we are all missing something within our lives. No matter how often you pray, you go to church, or read your bible, something is still missing; obviously for many of us who are single and have ourselves together. Yet with everything around us that we have become stewards over, we are not complete.
I just read online where a young man said that he was missing a part of him. His direct quote was, "Missing a part of me and who ever she is, she has the missing piece." I have known this young man for some years and I can understand what he meant. He notices that he is not complete and knows that the other part of him, whoever she may be, is there to enhance what is missing.
Steve Harvey mentioned in his book that a man can not move forward until he is complete. Before he can proceed with professing his love for someone, the provision and protection (these ducks) have to be in order. A friend and I have spoken on the topic quite often lately. If the female is able to withstand receiving only a portion of the relationship, then she should hold on. I must warn you, from recent personal experience, it is hard to hold on. Here is why it's difficult while waiting for those "darn ducks" to get in their row:
- If you are giving 110% to the relationship and only receiving 50%, the relationship is not stable. You will tend to give less and less, until there is nothing to hope for between the two of you.
- Being complacent leads to destruction of self and less time with Christ- your focus becomes the relationship and wanting to keep it afloat. You pray for it to work, you think about it working, and you hope for the best. Christ is there, but your heart is not with Him, but man.
- Has the person giving you the 50% given you the confidence and stability that you need? If not, you're just holding on to thin air and empty promises.
- Is this person speaking about love with terms of endearment every once in a blue moon (speaking the right words to keep you interested in him long enough to build you up)? The portion of communication is to keep you around in hopes that you will still be there once the ducks are in a row.
From my own experiences, waiting on someone who is not complete can take toil on the relationship, and yourself. 110% begins to lose who she is and her strength of being what was birthed into her. If you need to walk away from it, do it. You are worth more than having 50%. The man's hands should be able to cover yours. It should protect you at all times, not once and awhile. If you settle for hopes, then your real missing piece will just pass you by. Look for the signs and the actions. If there is lack in anyway, there will be lack in the future. I am praying for you always. Love you guys! He is out there, you gotta let go of the old and wait for the new.
"New Year, new promise. Love me as I am. I will not surrender my heart till u prove u are worthy of my love. I am and will be an equal in a relationship from now & beyond. When I love, I love with all of me. 2010 watch out, I'm bolder, older & wiser!" ~~Kim L.