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    Hindsight is 20/20: What would you tell your younger self?

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesI've been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly about my career. I started working as a journalist when I was 16 -- I mean working for pay, as opposed to on the school paper or something -- and I pursued my career goals with a single-mindedness that surprises me today, in retrospect.

    I didn't really have a mentor, 15 or 20 years ago. I could have used one -- as a young woman, as a woman of color, as a journalist, as a professional. I could have used a primer on office politics (who couldn't?), some guidance on setting goals, a reminder that work-life balance is important even when the only thing on the "life" side of the equation is yourself.

    Here's some advice -- career or otherwise -- I wish I could tell my younger self:

    Travel more. Not just on vacation -- though I would definitely advise my 25-year-old self to do that, too, before she saddled herself with a mortgage. Travel for conferences, volunteer for off-site assignments, just get out of the building and see what else is out there. I haven't spent my entire life in one state, or even one country. But I definitely wish I had seen more of the world instead of spending so much time in the office.

    Network more. Hanging out with the music critics was fun, but attending meetings for various journalistic associations would have been fun -- and smart, too.

    Don't work during your downtime. I rarely took all of the vacation time to which I was entitled. I should have. The office runs just fine when I'm not there.

    Set new goals constantly. They don't have to be work-related, either.

    Don't be so afraid of failure. Sure, there's a price to pay for not doing things perfectly right off the bat. But it can be one of the best way to learn something, to push your boundaries, to set new goals.

    Wear the bikini. Believe me, you look fantastic. Don't be so self-conscious about it.

    Dump that guy. I know you love him, but he's like a broken vase: gorgeous to look at, and utterly non-functional. Also: When you're 27, he's going to break up with you anyway.

    You are worth it. It's OK to splurge on yourself every once in a while. Go spend the money on a pedicure. It won't matter in the long run, and 10 years from now, you'll want to but not have the time to.

    What advice -- career or otherwise -- would you give to your younger self?

    Lylah M. Alphonse writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day and Work It, Mom!, is the Child Caring columnist for Boston.com/Moms, and blogs at Write. Edit. Repeat.

     

    143 comments

    • Toni  •  2 years 9 months ago
      At 47 - tomorrow 48!! I would tell my 20 something self to stay in the Navy - Get out of the dead marriage and quit telling yourself "it will get better." I stayed for the kids, now the kids are out on their own. They knew all along the marriage was dead and would have survived with divorced parents.
    • Menace  •  2 years 9 months ago
      well I am extremely happy at 51 and in better shape that when I was 18. The only thing I would tell my younger self was to have more fun and get laid at every opportunity that presented itself...dont be so picky.
    • Josroz  •  2 years 9 months ago
      I am 25 i would tell the younger me:

      1. Save more
      2. You should stay away from sylmond listen to ur friends on him girl
      3. You should have showed Robert you really loved him.... but he is gone now so stop beating up ur self.. you will love again.. <<>>>>>...
      4. Stop watching tv and study ur book..

      Lol nice advice from u ladies..
    • Megan  •  2 years 9 months ago
      -Wait until marriage...
      -Mom is right.
    • Buckyfever  •  2 years 9 months ago
      and.......dont let your in laws passive aggressive crap affect your marriage. Dont let their past unresolved wounds become yours........

      Live your life, not someones expectations of what they think you should do

      Love what you do, why be unhappy 50 hours a week?

      Say no to people who are trying to use you.
    • just me  •  2 years 9 months ago
      I would tell myself....work harder, take school serious, believe in myself, enjoy my younger years and wait until marriage before having sex.
    • Kevin  •  2 years 9 months ago
      "Don't ditch the hearing aids and glasses".
      Maybe a weird point, but this occurred to me around age 30.
      I had "mild-to-moderate" hearing loss and minor nearsightedness, so needed hearing aids (more) and glasses (less) since I was very young.
      I never bothered much with glasses until I was past 20. And I ditched my hearing aids when I went to high school and never got them again until I was 36.
      In all that time, I missed a lot - I missed seeing and hearing things normally in school and in life. I faked understanding what people were saying. In short, it led to a lot of missed opportunities. I sometimes wonder how my life might have changed (for the better?) had I used the aids and glasses. If only I'd had someone as wise as I am now, to tell me this back then.
    • Reader  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Don't worry about weighing 125 pounds. I thought I was overweight when I was 19 and weighed 140 (I'm 5'8"). Having gained 50 pounds since then and having succcessfully lost all that weight, I'm glad I'm close to 140 pounds and I'm not too thin. I'm at a healthy weight, I'm happy, and I'm confident in my own skin as I approach my 34th birthday.
    • Leslie M.  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Read more stories to my children. Play with them more. Enjoy every second before they grow up.
    • Missi  •  2 years 9 months ago
      I would tell myself to become vegetarian. If only I knew 15 years earlier how much better I would feel, how good I would look, and how many animals would be spared a horrible, unthinkable death.
    • so what  •  2 years 9 months ago
      This is stupid and a waste of internet space. How about shut up and pick a new career so the rest of us don't have to read this crap. get a life already. Tell your younger self buy microsoft and apple stock so your old self has a life.
    • Brian  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Advice I'd give my 25-year old self: Stop worrying about the future... it'll get there soon enough. And in the future, you'll sometimes wish you were 25 again.
    • carmelstrong  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Great post. I agree with the dumping the guy part and move on. It took me to get to 50 years old to finally start putting myself first. At this stage of life the kids are grown, and you realize your life would have been a lot better if you had got rid of that useless man a long time ago.You would have been able to catch something bigger and better.
    • Joe B  •  2 years 9 months ago
      It's really very easy. Do what you like to do. I worked construction for 5 years and hated it. Everyday I wish I would drive up and see smoke pouring from the area and arrive to see the whole plant on fire. So I could get out of there. The only work I did till I was 20 was work on the water and work in seafood retail markets. It was the most money I had ever made, but I got into construction and then never got out of it. Labor doesn't pay very well no matter what it is. I would definetely say go do something fun every weekend. If it's just camping, boating, sight-seeing or historical places. If you're seeing someone and you ask yourself do I really want to be with this person? If the answer is no, then move away if it's too much hassle, because most people have a lot more enemies than they have friends anyway unless they have lived a stellar life. But don't waste your time on anything.
    • CarolG  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Not having children is okay.
    • JeffK  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Strive to be exceptional (advice I give my kids today) being average will result in an average life and lifestyle. If you want more than average, then you have to BE more than average.
    • Angie74  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Go to college; you can't afford not to.
    • LucieR  •  2 years 9 months ago
      The best gift you can give yourself is to take care of you. Do not let anyone else tear down your self esteem or confidence. Run away from negative people & influences. Never marry a man just to have a man. You can't change another person. Never change who you are just to get along with others even your parents, be who you are. When you run into your first love many years later in that store be honest & tell him how much you've always loved him. Don't pretend to be happy to make him think you ok.
      Don't settle for the easy way move forward believe you can accomplish great things & follow your dreams. Make life happen don't just LET it happen to you. Life is short be happy.
    • Josroz  •  2 years 9 months ago
      I love this post.. great article... it have me smiling ..
    • The Nug  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Attend classes.

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