'How are you?' What to say if you don't want to say too much.

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ha! I'm sure this post got so many comments because we can all relate... I'd say make an effort and give at least half a smile not to spread your "just OK mood."

I'm a pretty pessimistic person, so when I'm asked this question...like every day...I deflect it.
I muster up some cheerfulness, ignore the "How are you?!" and immediately say, "Hi, how are you?"
They never seem to notice that I haven't answered their question.

Just peachy!

I stole a line from a friend of mine: when asked, and things are not going that well (or she's tired, or whatever) she'll say "still upright and mobile!"

I just answer that I'm fine and then ask them how they are. That way, it takes it off of you.

I prefer to say, "hello, so and so, it's great to see you!". Or if you're not so terribly happy to see them, then it's "hello, so and so, it's good to see you." It doesn't hurt to be nice, and there's no response required.

"Good, how are you?" THAT IS THE CORRECT ANSWER. I was talking about this with my friend and "hi, how are you?" is not an invitation to talk about your problems or anything else really. Yes, it is different if it is like a doctor or a really close friend but at the store the cashier doesn't want to hear your whole life story.

better than most~

Some people ask sincerely, others, insincerely. Don't ask if you don't want to hear an answer. Just say, "Hi," or "Good morning," both of which are perfectly acceptable greetings. There's a kind of hypocrisy in the linguistic fastidiouness of objecting to somebody's calling you "honey" while routinely and carelessly tossing out a question that expects not to be answered. People who are hurting often have a hard time resisting the opening. People vary in their literalness and we all are capable of observing this variation, so there's little basis for looking down on someone who actually answers the question.
__ The boilerplate employment of "How are you?" as a greeting combined with the expectation of no real answer is one of the minor incivilities of our time, and resentment of an answer, one of the minor intolerances. Add up all the minor, unthinking ways that people treat others as insignificant, and they wallpaper everyday life with disrespect. If you really don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question. Find another greeting. Or ask yourself if you're really so important that other people don't matter.
__ People who work in mental health get used to hearing other people's problems, and though some develop a thick, condescending veneer, others realize that asking people how they're doing and resenting an answer is setting up vulnerable people. Again, if you don't want to hear the answer, don't ask the question.

that'a cool, but I think saying more than I'm fine thanks, or I'm ok is better, you can add a few words if you know anything about that person. For example, you can ask them how was that visit from the other day going, or something to show your interest on their life. It's great and it works every time, at leat from where I'm coming from :)

My ailing 98 yr. old dad says, "Well I'm still kicking!"

I respond, "Fine.....and you?"

Does no one say: "Fair to middlin'" anymore? This has been my response for decades.

At one point, I just said, "alive."

Personally, I have never complained about my "day" partly because I don't have "bad" days. I guess no one rolls with the punches anymore.

My mother in law likes to tell her life story when people ask her this question. "How are you?" "Oh, terrible! My back's been hurtin', I haven't slept in days, and I think I'm getting sick..." Meanwhile the cashier or whoever asked the question in the first place is just looking back like 'OMG get me out of here!'

If Im having a bad day I say "I can't complain and you?", good mood I say " truly blessed and yourself?"

Thank you very much, Cat! No more confusion for me :)

In response to the person from England: I think in America, "How are you" is a greeting, not a personal inquiry. For example: people who work in food service, hospitality, etc, are often required to ask a guest how they are doing and very often either get completely ignored with a "I'll have a Coke" response, or get a "Fine, thanks." response. It's less than common for the guest to acutally hear the greeting, and offer a greeting back "Fine, thanks. How are you?". I know when I greet back, they often seem suprised (especially people who work in drive thru fast food positions - you can hear the excitement in their voice when you ask them how they are).

As for the article: In my opinion it's more of a greeting than a personal inquiry. If someone greets me, I feel they should be greeted back, regardless of how my day is going.

Personally, I feel really uncomfortable when someone goes on and on about how bad things are, especially if it's someone on the other end of the phone at work - I'm really just greeting them...

Not to be crass, but most of the time I think people ask 'how are you' just to appear cordial and they could really care less about how you are. I admit, I don't want to hear someone's life story when I ask that question but when they say "Hi, how are you?" and I reply with "I'm doing well, how are you?" and get no answer, it's obvious they are just running on autopilot.

it depends on who is asking. some ask, but truly don't care. sometimes I don't want to share. I'm not one to share my business with the world. if it's someone I know who is interested & care, I'd tell them how I really am.

I usally say I am fine and let it go but if the person is willing to listen I might say more about what is going on