By Erin Meanley, Glamour magazine
We have a request via Twitter. A reader named Diana asked @glamourdotcom for a story on how to make new girl friends. "I have no idea how to go about it," she says. Well said, Diana-making friends isn't always natural or easy; it takes work. Truly, putting yourself out there takes time and energy. But if you want to make friends, then you'll feel motivated to be proactive about it. Wanting friends is half the battle!
Here are a few tips for making new girl friends…
1. Say "yes" to every invitation. If you say "no" too often to the same people, those peeps will stop inviting you.
2. Invite one person per week to brunch, an exercise class, or a concert if you have extra tickets.
3. If you happen to be around girls at work or at a party, bring up a girl-friendly topic. What gets even the quietest girl talking immediately is the question, "How did you meet your boyfriend?" That, and "Did you watch The Bachelor/Gossip Girl/William & Kate last night?" If you're a food lover, ask about the latest episode of Top Chef. Other subjects that bond girls: Jake Gyllenhaal, other reality TV shows, relationship issues, self-deprecating stories, weight loss struggles and dieting tips, online dating anecdotes, clothes. (Wow! That list was superficial! But I'm only stating what I've observed.)
4. Compliment someone. Compliments are free. I love making people feel good-and I notice that the people I compliment get addicted and come back for more!
5. Ask friends to introduce you to people over Facebook. When I moved back to San Diego, my friends living in other cities e-introduced me to their girl friends in San Diego via Facebook.
6. Find the influencers and connectors-girls who are publicists, recruiters, ladies who lunch…they love putting people in contact with each other. Plus, they know everyone.
7. Don't live alone. When I moved to NYC, I knew very few people on the east coast. When I left seven years later, I was keeping in touch with about 100 good friends. Some were former roommates I'd met on Craigslist. Many were people from various jobs I'd had. Or people I'd met through friends. You have to have roommates, unfortunately. Think of it this way: in college, the girls who lived in an off-campus apartment had a far more solitary life than the girls who shared an on-campus dorm and left their door open. It's all about proximity.
8. Find a group on Meetup.com, attend alumni lunches, go to church, sit in on knitting circles, sign up for Junior League, join a photography group. Get on a softball team or do something with people whose interests are similar to yours.
9. Think further about where the girls are. For me, I have always been surrounded by girls because I have a sister, I was in a sorority, I take ballet, and I work in publishing-all female-dominant things. Is there anything you like to do that involves mostly girls?
11. Finally, don't let yourself "go there" and start thinking you're being a nuisance. Many women out there are looking for friends just as much as you are. Others don't need any more friends but they always say, "The more the merrier!"
Good luck, Diana! I'm sure there are a lot of women in your area who are in need of your friendship! And girls, say hello to @dianabydesign today!
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Photo Credit: WWD