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    How to stay in touch without stalking

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesHave you ever been in this situation? You meet someone new, have an instant rapport and a feeling that the two of you would be able to help each other. You know you want to stay in touch or at least stay on the other person's radar. But you have no idea when you'll run into the person again and don't want to rely on chance.

    This issue comes up all the time. It happens when you want to keep up with people who might be helpful in a job search or when you want to let prior clients know that you're around and available for work.

    So how do you stay in touch without looking like a stalker or someone who is just lurking around waiting for something to happen?

    Here are a few ideas:

    Write a newsletter. This idea works for anyone who wants to reach out to their contacts on a regular or irregular basis without picking up the phone. I send an email newsletter to my mailing list roughly four times a year. And each time I do, I get several inquiries and bookings within a few days of sending it out. I also get a lot of hellos from people I'm happy to hear from. The key to writing a good newsletter is to give your readers something useful rather than using it solely as a self-promotion vehicle. The "Casnocha Beat," a periodic newsletter sent by Ben Casnocha, a blogger/author/speaker, always leaves me with something juicy to think about. He includes an "estimated read time" at the top, a clever way to convince you it's only a small investment to read it. Colleen Wainwright, a communications consultant who goes by the name "Communicatrix," sends a newsletter that does a good job of reminding people of her services while giving volumes of helpful stuff. (It's no surprise that she wrote an excellent post on how to write a bulletproof newsletter.)

    Embrace status updates. While it's easy to mock the growing need for everyone to constantly remind us whenever they hiccup, the status update can be an effective tool for staying on people's radar, if used properly. If you have an event coming up, write a status update on Facebook or Twitter saying that you're prepping for it. Use these updates as a way to give to others. So if you've just read a good article, post it on your Facebook profile.

    Send clippings.
    Clippings are the pre-virtual age way of sharing articles. It's when you rip out an article from a newspaper and magazine and pop it into an envelope with a "thinking about you," note. Now that most mail arrives electronically, you'll stand out by sending something that gets delivered by real mail. This isn't limited to articles. Think about sending your newsletter by regular mail, and consider using regular mail for thank-you notes. Not enough people do.

    Create a recurring event. If you want to be known for something, say an interest in the latest art openings or locally grown organic foods, create a recurring event that you can invite people to. It needn't be expensive. Partner with a vendor that wants exposure or use your own space. This can be as Web 2.0 or as home-grown as you like: announce it on Facebook, Twitter, or by posting fliers in your neighborhood.

    Remember birthdays. This is a classic technique used by salespeople. Start keeping track of people's birthday's, and make a point of calling, writing, or sending an e-greeting on their day. Facebook has made this simple by reminding us of our friends' birthdays. Sites like Birthdayalarm.com do the same thing by sending you email reminders after you've input the birthdays of your contacts. Sending holiday greetings serves the same purpose, but the birthday method lets you focus more on someone's individual special day rather than a general day you reach out to everyone. If you want to reach out at the holidays, think about a holiday where you'll stand out; Gretchen Rubin, the author and blogger, sends cards on Valentine's Day for this reason.

    Update your LinkedIn profile. Here's one way you might not even realize you're showing up on people's radar. If you're a member of LinkedIn and you change jobs, take a new job or do any number of other things on the site, your "news" will be included in the weekly newsletter other LinkedIn members in your network receive.

    Have I left out any other techniques? Tell me how you stay in touch, or ways that others do that you find appealing?

     

    19 comments

    • Constance  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Great suggestions, but I was surprised that you didn't include the LinkedIn "What are you working on now" field in your segment about status updates. It's a great way for people to get in touch. I updated my status the other day regarding work I was doing on my church's website and got a ping back from a contact I hadn't heard in a while with a great resource for my volunteer work.
    • Happygolucky  •  2 years 9 months ago
      Excellent post and useful advice.
    • Sojourner  •  2 years 9 months ago
      I don't know how that is going to keep 'em but you sound very enterprising.
    • Just Me  •  2 years 10 months ago
      I have a 3 time rule. If I call, write or otherwise try to get in touch with someone I'd like to become friends with I stop trying if they have not returned my call, letter, etc. by the 3rd try. Anything beyond 3 tries I would consider stalking.
    • Vikram  •  2 years 9 months ago
      nice
    • Ms D  •  2 years 10 months ago
      That's an excellent idea. I'd like to save this as a reference for the future.
    • Ms D  •  2 years 10 months ago
      This reminds me of one time while waiting in a check out line. This woman and I struck up a conversation and I felt (at the time) like we connected and I said I didn't want to let her get away-as so many nice people I've met, I never got back in touch with. We exchanged e-mail addresses and phone numbers, but when I tried to contact her, the number was wrong and the e-mail address was nonexistant. So she must have thought me strange and gave incorrect information or something. Its tough luck, good friends are hard to find, as are references and job contacts.
    • jodi  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Marci, thanks so much, great post. I especially like the idea of sending old-school clippings, so many of us have forgotten what it actually feels like to get a piece of snail mail, i would be absolutely touched by someone's thoughtfulness to receive something of interest to me in the mail.

      One other thing I like to do is send "TOUs" or thinking of yous-- electronically-- a quick email to a friend if they're sports team has just won or if i've run into a friend of a friend, or if i've heard they've have some good news (promotion/move/new baby)... anything small that shows you're thinking of someone...
    • marcia  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Great ideas Marci!!!
    • Deborah  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Love the newsletter idea!
    • Kristin  •  2 years 10 months ago
      These are terrific ideas and reminders - Thank you
      Some additional recommendations:

      http://www.ehow.com/how_4541903_use-professional-networking-websites.html
    • BYD057  •  2 years 10 months ago
      My employer wants me to start working on a newsletter, thanks for the tips, I will check them out.
    • Marci Alboher, Working th ...  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Ozchap, Glad you liked it. Of course you can post!
    • TaishaR  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Hi Marci, lovely article. The 'recurring event' idea sounds great and one that I haven't heard. It certainly has me thinking.
    • PhotoD  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Very timely post. I had been contemplating the very subject. Common wisdom says my next job will come from my personal and business network. But the question always was how to stay in front of my network without overstaying my welcome as it were.

      Very useful. Do you mind if I post a precis and a link on nojobsurvivor.com? It will be very useful for our readers.
    • Cynthia  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Your post is great and included lots of valuable information. I like the idea about sending things through the mail - that's become a dinosaur with the electronic mail surge. Thanks for this post!
    • communicatrix  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Great post, Marci, and not just because I'm included in it. :-)

      It's interesting—all of the things you pointed out have one thing in common, which is to be thoughtful of other people as you're thinking of them. I also use Google Alerts and Google Reader (both the "email this" function and just the ability to scan loads of info quickly) to stay in touch.

      You've got me thinking about more ways of doing this now. Hey! A new newsletter topic!
    • GirlyGirl©  •  2 years 10 months ago
      I have lots of business contacts, and former clients now friends. I type out an e-mail, and meet them for lunch. All of the afore-mentioned are friends. How could I forget anything about them? I have a running computer program calendar filled with these dates. Birthdays, anniversaries, (and I never forget if they are divorced)! and the dates for their children's graduations and what not. I don't bug them, and they don't bug me. I send invitations, or e-mail, and they send invitations, and e-mails. We are OK with each other. I guess I'm pretty good at keeping in touch!
    • A Yahoo! User  •  2 years 10 months ago
      Awesome! Thank you so much!

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