I hate my self2

I hate my self when I loosing my temper when me and my papa argue for something. I really hate my self when I cry to my mothers memory. I hate my self seeing her 2nd wife having a good life instead of me and my brother . I hate all the things happen this past 8years and now I was facing the life alone with my caring live in partner without thinking our future it was to early for that. I hate my self repeating the past i've done sparing too my father what I am now which is not right. I hate my sister in laws and brother even the wife of my brother. I hate my self because of my stupidness here I am now telling the world that I am stupid very stupid, damn, and shellfish. I mean it all the bad things I do and nw I want to change who I am now.