I'm going to count to ten

and you'd better be gone before I reach two.

Leave me be.

What parent came up with "You need to choose your own punishment!" And what kid would punish themselves given the opportunity not to get any punishment at all.

Six of one or half dozen of another is like you say tomato I say tomatoe.

It's a great life if you live through it, but everyone has to die of something.
The first hundred years are the hardest.

Never say hold-up in a bank, even if your talking to your service animal.
Whoa is a better way of saying stop to a horse.

Word association games are good ways to build a child's vocabulary - but you have to be careful they could end up believing right is east and left is wrong instead of west.

You know you've lost weight when you can pull your pants up and down with out unzipping them. You know you've really lost weight when you can put both legs in the same leg of the pants and pull them up.

And what is with the youth of today do they all have to wear their pants with their underwear showing then they try and walk and they look like penguins. I think there should be mandatory dress codes or give them tickets for indecent exposure, better yet give'm a wedgie.