My husband of 17 years left me and our three sons and remarried six months later. It has now been almost two years since he left, and despite extensive counseling, antidepressants, and divorce-recovery classes, I can't seem to move on. I have become this sad, pathetic, miserable person who hates my life and wishes she could turn back the clock. Can you help me let go of the past? -- K.B., 41, Colorado Springs, CO
First, know that you've experienced a huge blow and that your feelings of despair are perfectly normal. You've lost not only your man but also your marriage, which is a tiny civilization with a culture and customs of its own. I say this not to make you feel worse but to help you respect yourself and these bleak feelings during what you'll look back on as one of the most difficult times of your life.
Related: 5 Things Happy Couples Do Every DayRight now, you need to take care of yourself. If in the morning it all just seems too much, focus on getting through life until noon. If that's too overwhelming, take it hour by hour, and during each hour, do your best to go about your life in a positive way. The most important thing is not to think of yourself as a pathetic person who hates her life. Nip that image in the bud right now. You're a good woman who's been traumatized. That's who you are.
One thing I can guarantee you -- and there are so few bits of advice that come with a guarantee! -- is that it will get better. If you want to move forward, you will. The pain will eventually lessen. Sometimes that knowledge is all we've got, but it's a good thing to have.
Related: The 18 Most Annoying Male Habits Explained
Related: How to Have a Better Relationship
Karen Karbo is an award-winning writer and author of The Gospel According to Coco Chanel: Life Lessons from the World's Most Elegant Woman. She's also a mom, a writing teacher, and a horse owner. Check out more advice from Karen.
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