Discover Yahoo! With Your Friends

Explore news, videos, and much more based on what your friends are reading and watching. Publish your own activity and retain full control.

To get started, first

YOUR FRIENDS' ACTIVITY

    Marriage makes for safe conversations at work. But not for everyone.

    Getty ImagesGetty ImagesI'm back in business after taking pretty much the whole month of September off for my wedding and honeymoon. And since we returned on the night before Yom Kippur, back-to-work was further delayed by another day.

    I've had quite a few work/life interruptions over the years -- times in which I've said no to almost everything that comes up on both the personal and work front because life is just too busy. Some of them have been for awful reasons like when people have been ill or passed away. In those cases, people usually understand that you're going to be out of commission for an indefinite period of time. And they usually leave it to you to tell them when you're ready to re-engage. When you're lucky, they offer the right kinds of support.

    But few reasons for dropping out of work and life feel as good as taking time off to get married.

    When you announce you're getting married, coupled people tend to tell you about how they fell in love. Single people tend to ask about how you met your partner. Which makes marriage one of those subjects that helps you connect to other people at work -- like pets, kids' soccer games or a charity cycling ride. In the time leading up to the wedding, I had great conversations about various pieces of the wedding like working with a dress designer or traveling in Portugal (where we went on our honeymoon). I also noticed that people who didn't know me were able to use my marriage as an icebreaker when reaching out by email since I made mentions of it on social networking sites and since my wedding was covered in the New York Times.

    Unfortunately, marriage isn't a universally safe or desirable topic of conversation. For many gay people, it causes resentment and anger since it's not something they can experience in the same way as straight people can. And for those who are not out at work, marriage talk could be a cue to steer the conversation in another direction. But it's not just gay people who might want to avoid marriage talk at work. If you're in the middle of divorce (as I was myself several years ago) or a break up, talk of marriage and weddings is about as off-limits as any subject can be with colleagues.

    So as I took joy in all the pleasant interactions I enjoyed around my marriage, I couldn't help thinking of the flipside of all this positivity.

    How do you all feel about this? Do you think romantic relationships, marriage and weddings are the kinds of things we should be talking about with colleagues or do we need to tread carefully around these issues?

     

    6 comments

    • som  •  2 years 8 months ago
      We need to tread carefully around these issues because these things are the most essential part of our life that changes the way of life in verious modes.
    • jillybean  •  2 years 8 months ago
      I see no reason to tread carefully around the subject. If you are celebrating a joyous occasion, you have every right to tell whomever you choose. Those that don't want to hear about it also have the right to remove themselves from the conversation. Simple as that. It's ridiculous to censor yourself because you MIGHT offend someone. Please.
    • opiniononly  •  2 years 8 months ago
      I think the author is over thinking this entire topic. Most folks will celebrate another's happiness...straight, gay, single, married...but when the conversation turns into an on-going blow by blow account of every detail (of interest only to the bride and groom/bf,gf), or financial details that are really no one else's business, or you are talking to folks who know they will not be invited to a celebration...that ends up being insensitive...and often boring.

      Am I happy a colleague is getting married or in the throes of a grand passionate relationship...absolutely. Do I want to hear her voice drifting from the copy room, over the cube walls and into offices, every Monday morning as she details her quest for the perfect dress, invitation, caterer, florist or the minute by minute description of the best weekend ever...no.

      Tell the details to those who actually care for the details...the rest of us can get by with occasional updates. We are co-workers, we are not necessarily friends. There is a difference.
    • Doug  •  2 years 8 months ago
      Marci, being gay, I appreciate your sensitivity to the subject. It is hard for gay or recently divorced people to hear about the joys of marriage. However, I hope that doesn't stop anyone from talking about the joyous occasion of marriage. I hope that someday soon my partner and I will get to celebrate being married, and I know that when that happens my straight co-workers will be celebrating along with us.
    • A Yahoo! User  •  2 years 8 months ago
      I totally agree with opiniononly.
    • Frantastic  •  2 years 8 months ago
      Ditto jilly and opinion. Why should you hide how you are feeling. you have the right to celebrate that.

    Join us on Pinterest

    DAILY SHOT VIDEO

    We apologize. An error has occurred. Please try again.