Networking tips for the shy or introverted

Being an introvert myself, I can see where different methods need to be employed in order to achieve the same results as the extrovert. But, it is possible to succeed, in spite of the common stereotype given to the introvert. We definitely have our strong points. We just need to know how to recognize them and learn how to use them. Social skills will become more natural if you are persistent at practicing them. Social media could also be a great outlet for building confidence. I also found some other helpful tips at: http://relationshipcapital.co/op/?utm_src=bl

Being an introvert myself, I could really relate to your article. Naturally, I would prefer to go to the dentist rather than have to interact in a room full of strange people. It's not that I'm afraid, I just have my mind made up to be uncomfortable. It's all about mindset. I believe this type of hang-up requires a lot of practice in creating positive networking experiences. Social media can be a great outlet for introverts. If used properly it could be a great confidence builder. I did find some other free informational tools that could be of help at: http://relationshipcapital.co/op/?utm_src=bl

Thank you Marci for bringing your 'networking tips for the shy or introvert' to our attention. We have found this 'how-to' Proactive Network Strategies Seminar helpful http://www.yourstressmatters.com/networking.htm

I feel the exact same way as Annie does, its not fair how it comes naturally to some people!

I'm glad this post resonated with some of you. I also checked out jbarr's post and it added some valuable perspective:

http://www.jasondbarr.com/2009/04/08/developing-people-skills/

Annie, what if you tried that journalist approach suggested by stephanerd? I love that!

-- Marci

I wrote an article on networking tips for shy people for CIO.com, a website geared toward technology professionals, who tend to be introverts.

From a wise woman I heard at a recent Philadelphia networking event: networks are about relationships and you need to build those relationships before you try to sell them something (or get a new job, etc.) So the advice about asking someone about themselves and truly listening from a previous comment is excellent. It's a little bit longer term proposition but infinitely better than "speed dating."

The idea of networking makes my skin crawl. But I am starting a new business and I know that this is one of those fears that I have to overcome. I really liked the journalist suggestion as I am great at listening which is why I am starting a life coach business (myconsciouschange.com) but to get clients so at this point I have no choice. Thanks for this article. Keep it coming!

this article has given me a few ideas as well. there have been occurances when i should have spoke up or asserted myself but don't b/c i am more on the shy side. i started on my own trying to just put myself out there more b/c so many opportunities have passed me by. i agree with what annie had to say, i didn't want to feel as though i was forcing myself on a person so i just wouldn't speak up. but i have to learn that sometimes good opportunities will just fly by. this was a good article to read.

THANKS! I'm about to start a new business and networking is the key to me finding potential customers and team members. I worry so much about being pushy and offensive to people. I'm trying to figure out how to convince a person (unknowingly) that I have a great product that they would/should be interested in. I struggle with this daily. Any tips would be greatly appreciated...

Here I am! Another one of those shy people. Walking into a networking event -- especially alone -- strikes fear into my heart. My shrink has suggested using alcohol as a personal lubricant but, beyond promoting alcohol consumption as a crutch, I think it's important to remember *why* people like me are so afraid. And usually, what we're afraid of is having the spotlight turned on us, and then being summarily rejected.

Because of this, I think it helps to place the focus upon others. I once wrote a post on surviving networking events by thinking like a journalist. What I meant is that conversation comes much more easily when you stop freaking out about how you appear, and start placing your focus on others. Ask questions...show interest...flippin' pretend you're interviewing this person for a hard-hitting story. People love to talk about themselves, which is why good listeners are so beloved the world over.

In addition, I think it's important to share: your knowledge, advice, tips, the lowdown on the cool job that sounds just *perfect" for you. If you are generous with what you have, people tend to want to return the favor. And, once again, if you're concentrating on helping others, you're a bit less preoccupied with your own neuroticisms.

At least this is what works for me, though I can still be a mess in large crowds of strangers. :)

In every social situation, from a work-related meeting to an acquaintance's party, I realize now that there's at least one--if not many--in attendance who feels uncomfortable about their fish-out-of-water circumstances. I forge ahead on that assumption, trying to concentrate not on my discomfort. Instead, I focus on how I can put the other person at ease, usually by asking enough questions to hit on one of their passions. When I find that, it's like hitting conversational oil--it's a gusher!

From reading the many comments that were left, I'm glad to see that I'm not alone in being an introvert. During my school days, I hated interacting with people because I was rejected so often. I wasn't one of the attractive ones or played sports or did anything along those lines. Also, I was constantly teased by my classmates because I was a "plain Jane" as it were. I will attribute a lot of this as helping develop my strongly introverted nature. Of recent, I've learned how to better communicate with people with some unusual and wonderful training especially since I, too, have started a business. Admittedly, without the training and others to help me practice, I would not have gotten my business off the ground. If any one is interested, you may want to look into a program called Brilliant Communicator.

Jasmine Hunter follow me on twitter!

Hi, Marci, thanks for this post. I've been dealing with this issue a lot myself, and tried to capture some of the things I found that helped in a post on my blog. One of the keys, as you pointed out, is practice. You've got to do a lot of conversation starting to become good at it, and it's even more important for introverts. You've got years of habituation and inertia to overcome. :) Thanks again.

http://www.jasondbarr.com/2009/04/08/developing-people-skills/

I am terrible at networking! I always feel like I'm imposing or forcing myself on people. I desperately need a better paying job but can't get up the courage to ask people for help or recommendations. I feel like they couldn't be bothered with me, or wouldn't help me even if I asked. I don't know how to overcome that!

Stephanerd, thanks for the tips! Very accurate and helpful.

This is a timely post. I am quite extroverted and don't mind networking, but somehow balked at the enormity of facebook and linked in. Now I will plunge right in! Thanks

"Instead [I] build relationships one-on-one or in small groups or devise novel ways of staying in touch." ----OMG! This is exactly me! For a while, I thought that I was networking incorrectly i.e. I had a hard time speaking up and even tooting my own horn. But I'm getting better at meeting people. I go to several MeetUps in my area and practice at least once a month on what to say to a large group of people. I too write a blog post on how to networking successfully.

http://www.bizintros.com/blog/view/id_52/title_networking-tips-from-coach-chuck/

That's actually a summary of a talk about Networking.

Here's a networking tip: see www.thesecretsofinstantrapport.com, and visit the products page. The CD and Instructional workbook about building instant rapport are awesome!