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    "Don't ask, don't tell" is officially gone. Have you ever been asked about your sexual orientation in the office?

    By | Work + Money – Wed, Sep 21, 2011 9:17 PM EDT

    At midnight on Tuesday, the U.S. military officially ended Don't Ask, Don't Tell, its 18-year-long policy against on gays openly serving in the military.

    "As of today, patriotic Americans in uniform will no longer have to lie about who they are in order to serve the country they love," President Obama said. "Our armed forces will no longer lose the extraordinary skills and combat experience of so many gay and lesbian service members."

    "The law is repealed," top Army officials including Army Chief of Staff General Raymond T. Odierno wrote in a memo sent to generals on Monday. "From this day forward, gay and lesbian soldiers may serve in our Army with the dignity and respect they deserve."

    It's a situation that some of us who haven't served in the military can't quite wrap our heads around. As working women, we're used to being asked whether we're married. We're used to questions about our kids, and concerns that being a parent will negatively affect our ability to work. But sexual orientation is rarely an issue.

    "Some gay service members will come out; most will not," writes Danny Hernandez, a Marine who was discharged under Don't Ask, Don't Tell in 2010. "After all, being in the military is defined by the commitment you make to this country-not by whether you are gay or straight."

    More than 13,000 service men and women have been discharged since 1993, thanks to Don't Ask, Don't Tell. But even as they celebrate the end of the ban, some military men and women still don't want people to know that they're gay. "I'm not planning on anything flashy," one soldier told The Washington Post. Though he and his new boyfriend, who is also a soldier, have been celebrating, he asked the newspaper not to identify him. "I don't plan on letting a lot of people know, as I still want to keep that part of my life personal."

    That soldiers who are honorably serving their country still feel that they need to remain anonymous underscores the fact that, while your sexual orientation may not affect the way you work, it still can adversely affect how people react to you on the job-so much so that in their memo, General Odierno, Army Secretary John M. McHugh, and the Army's highest-ranking enlisted soldier, Sergeant Major Raymond F. Chandler III, felt it necessary to remind generals to treat homosexual soldiers as they would any other.

    "We expect all personnel to follow our values by implementing the repeal fully, fairly and in accordance with policy guidance," the memo said. "It is the duty of all personnel to treat each other with dignity and respect."

    Some members of Congress opposed ending the ban, as do many conservative groups. On Monday, Family Research Council president Tony Perkins asked the Pentagon to extend Don't Ask, Don't Tell, saying that the Obama Administration "twisted the arms of a certain high-ranking military officer to get him to change his congressional testimony."

    "The American military exists for only one purpose-to fight and win wars," Perkins said in a statement. "Yet, tomorrow, the U.S. military becomes a tool in reshaping social attitudes regarding human sexuality. Using the military to advance a liberal social agenda will only do harm to the military's ability to fulfill its mission."

    Hernandez, the former Marine, disagrees. He currently works for the Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, and predicts that the end of Don't Ask, Don't Tell won't negatively impact readiness or morale.

    "Members of the military have always had gay and lesbian counterparts and will continue to do so," he points out. "They will all endure the same trainings, deployments, bonds and hardships. They will dance with a loved one at their respective military ball. Upon returning from deployment, they will greet their families on the tarmac. And if they give the ultimate sacrifice, they will be met at Dover Air Force Base with a salute in honor of their service, as they should, with no indicator of their sexual orientation."

    Has your sexual orientation ever been an issue at the office?




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