If you've never woken up after a night of partying and realized that your anxiety nightmare about the dangerous/salacious/obnoxious/illegal act you committed was reality, congratulations! The rest of us will now go collect our membership cards to the Reese Witherspoon Sobriety Club.
As has been widely reported, early Friday morning, star of the movie "Legally Blonde" and "Sweet Home Alabama," among other poofs of sugary pink fluff, Witherspoon was arrested for disorderly conduct when she mouthed off to the police officer who was administering a DUI roadside test to husband Jim Toth. In a statement released on Sunday, Witherspoon said she was "deeply embarrassed" by her behavior and that she has "nothing but respect for the police." Lucky for her, the public is generally seeing the muck stain on her squeaky clean image as a big joke. "Reese Witherspoon Arrested!?" Tweeted one Texas radio station, Mix 104.7, "Total sign of the Apocalypse!"
Other actresses haven't been let off so easy. In an August 2012 conversation with James Franco published by Interview Magazine, a refreshingly candid Mila Kunis said, "I think there will always be a double standard between males and females, so I think that an actress is more likely to protect her public persona, so to speak, than an actor would be. An actor goes crazy in a hotel room, gets trashed, throws a bench, breaks a window, and he is considered a rock star. An actress does that and she's sent to rehab and is thought to have problems and issues and can't get a job." Charlie Sheen, a father of five, was rewarded with a new TV series "Anger Management" after his sordid meltdown, and does anyone remember (or care) that Johnny Depp was arrested four times (most notably for destroying a New York City hotel room after a drunken brawl with then-girlfriend Kate Moss). Meanwhile, Lindsay Lohan is broke and headed back to rehab and Amanda Bynes appears to be imploding in front of our eyes from her notoriety. Let us not forget the heartbreaking tragedy of Amy Winehouse who died of alcohol poisoning at 27 after being stalked, wounded, and picked over the by the vultures of Britain's tabloid press.
There is a wholly different type of female celeb we also love to loathe: goodie-two-shoes such as Anne Hathaway and Gwyneth Paltrow. Their crime: these women work too hard, drink too many kale smoothies, and smile too much. They annoy us to the core because they consider their one cigarette per week a guilty pleasure. The virgin/whore divide goes back to biblical times-or at least as far "Betty and Veronica." In general, women, especially those in the public eye, have to pick a side or one is assigned to them.
Up until now, Witherspoon's persona has been one shiny bleached bicuspid away from being just too perfect. While her outburst at the cops was ugly and the decision to get into the car with allegedly drunken hubby (and father of her 19-month-old baby) stupid, it's also humanizing. A woman can make a mistake, apologize, shake off her hangover, and show up to her next gig (in Reese's case, the premier of her new film "Mud") with her head held high.