Being willing to look at the situation and telling the truth were the first steps in helping you move towards a big Money Breakthrough. But we still have some emotional work to do before we start down the road to taking the kind of action that will help you create new money habits.
In keeping with our goal of preventing you from getting caught up in the buying frenzy this holiday season, I want to examine the fears that motivate us to shop till we drop.
What Are You Afraid Of If You Don't Spend Like Crazy?
Boy, do I remember vividly the day I had to tell my daughter I didn't have the money to have the usual Christmas. Our "usual" consisted of my daughter giving me a list of things she just "had to have" and me going out and getting her all of it. You read it right, ALL OF IT!
Pictures speak a thousand words so I've included one so you fully get the idea. Every gift under that tree is for my daughter!
There was a time when I would look at those photos and feel sick. Thank goodness I can look at them now and not feel those same feelings of dread, despair, and nausea.
So when I started to delve into my own money habits, fears, beliefs and mindsets I knew I had to answer the biggest question of them all: "What am I afraid of if I don't spend like crazy?"
Fear motivates us to do all sorts of things. In this case, fear was driving my need to shop my life away. But in the beginning I wasn't sure what I was afraid of. It took some time and digging before the fear revealed the truth of the situation.
Our fears are motivated by underlying needs. Maybe you over spend because you have an underlying need to be loved. Or, maybe your shopping fills the need to gain status or recognition. No matter what the underlying need, trust me, there is one to your over shopping and over spending.
Now is the time to evaluate it and determine, "what need am I trying to fill?"
This part of the process takes some real self-reflection because at first the need may not be very clear to you or possibly you may feel like you have competing needs that must be fulfilled.
This exercise isn't for the faint of heart. This type of self-recrimination pushes us past our feeling of complacency and pain and moves us forward towards the life we really want. The alternative is to be stuck in the same place with the same fears for the rest of our lives. If that's what you want, then heck, don't bother reading anymore and go out and keep on spending, feeling guilty, and being in debt.
Here's my suggestion: get out a notebook and pen and start journaling your thoughts and feelings about what's coming up for you. Review it from time to time and see if you can identify a pattern in your thoughts.
You more than likely will start to see a clear picture of where you have been deluding yourself and the actions steps may clearly begin to form in your mind.
Action - that six letter word that changes everything.
Once you've identified what you're afraid of, I want you to call and schedule a complimentary discovery session with me so we can get you moving in the right direction this holiday season! I look forward to your call.