For every halftime "wardrobe malfunction" and CSI theme-song medley, there's been a Michael Jackson Celebrity Deathmatch and, now, Lingerie Bowl. For better or worse, they've reminded us that the world does not, in fact, revolve around Pete Townshend's nose (unless you're Roger Daltrey). Below, you'll find 5 of our favorite attempts at half-time counterprogramming; Head to Esquire.com to watch video clips and see even more memorable moments.
Fear Factor Playmates Edition (2002)
If you were to argue that this was humanity's nadir, it would be hard to disagree. Because average Americans degrading themselves for money was insufficient entertainment for the biggest TV night of the year, producers added women with a proven willingness to remove their clothes. Click here for an insanely thorough recap of the events, courtesy of NBC. ("A deserted Western town greeted the four remaining Playmates as they sauntered in on day two...")Lingerie Bowl (2004-Present)
Ever watch a football game and think, "What if these massive athletes were actually scantily clad hot chicks?" You aren't the only one. The Lingerie Bowl lets men ogle away... but also provides women the chance to show their prowess with the pigskin. After all, these ladies are athletes, as this behind-the-scenes footage proves (note: "athlete" here is defined as "kind of trashy-looking").
Fate: This Sunday, watch the winners of - get this - this week's Los Angeles Temptation-Dallas Desire and Chicago Bliss-Miami Caliente conference championships face off at halftime of the Super Bowl for only ten bucks. And you don't even need to pay a personal seat license fee.Puppy Bowl (2005-Present)
The lingerie bowl didn't win over the missus, eh? Remind her that other non-male football is still being played thanks to the folks over at Animal Planet, who provide all the furry cuteness your otherwise bored significant other can handle. Bonus: Commentary by the late Harry Kalas will almost convince you this is some sort of sport and not just dogs running in circles until they poop.
Fate: Sunday. Three o'clock. Don't tell Steve Jobs.The Stupid Bowl (2007)
Howard Stern isn't afraid to shake up the establishment - or make some money in the process. And leading him to create an alternative halftime game involving Penthouse Pet cheerleaders, "five drag queens," and "Siobhan the Transsexual" for HowardTV.
Fate: Stern may be heading back to regular, non-satellite radio. Expect millions of satellite receivers to go on eBay shortly.Faith Bowl (2008-Present)
Superbowl halftimes offer many things, but not "principles" to "guide your life." A couple years back, Family Theater Productions filled the void by creating a Catholic athlete panel discussion. This spiritual pregame offering is hitting its stride with its third edition on Sunday, upgrading participants from soccer player Antonio Soave in the inaugural effort to 12-time MLB All-Star Mike Piazza, who will discuss his faith while dodging bats thrown by Roger Clemens. He's bound to be as captivating as he was for the Champions of Faith DVD.
Fate: Don't get them started on fate.