What is a mother's work really worth?

A mother's work is worth absolutely nothing. After 28 years as a stay-at-home mom, I am now a displaced homemaker, a widow, who discovered that my late husband "lost" most of our savings trying to prop up his failing business before he died. I was stuck with a large debt, and not a lot of life insurance.
Now, I need a job. My so called "life experience" counts for nothing. My not-quite college degree in theater and communication is worthless. My former experience in bank operations is out of date.
In a year and a half of trying, I have gotten one place to accept my job application, but they never even contacted my references. And, that is for a receptionist position at a veterinary clinic. They are still looking, I have been told. They would rather go without someone than take a chance on me, because I have apparently spent the last 28 years lying around watching soap operas and eating bonbons.
Target won't hire me. Home Depot, which is "always hiring" didn't hire me, because the other applicants at that time had more recent job experience.
A local grocery store is hiring cashiers. I read the job description online, then I spent the afternoon crying. Cashiers clean public bathrooms these days. But, I applied.
If I get the job, it will be quite a drop. From suburban homemaker to public bathroom cleaner, but it's better than the alternative. It won't pay my mortgage, and it won't give me health insurance, but it will put food on my table, and give me more respect in the job world than I have now as a nothing, a college educated, very intelligent, hard working nothing.

Why are the children relaxing in front of the television while the mother does chores? The trouble here is that neither parent wants to be enough of a disciplinarian to make the children work, so the family member with a conscience (ie, Mom) does the chores and feels persecuted on account of it. It wasn't that way in our household: our five children have always helped to carry the load. Certainly they griped about it at the time, but the result was that I didn't feel like a slave, and my boys, now grown, know how to do laundry and basic cooking and manage their daily responsibilities in general.

well, then they shouldn't have kids in the first place.

It would be really nice, if hubby and kids just say how much they appreciate the mom for doing everything. It may not seem right to attach a dollar value, but it definitely feels like being a slave, if the mom is working all the time, and dad and kids relax in front of TV.

Jeez people, this is supposed to be for fun...

And those of you who are saying I am just a mom and it is who you are, well that may be true, but the point is that is worth something and you are lucky you can do what you enjoy. My friend is an editor of a newspaper and she recently won an award and in an interview, she said, I am just an editor, not worth a story, I don't do anything. But to the people who work for her or compete with her or read her paper she is pretty important. To your husband and children you are important. They may not recognize it, but this article is designed to point that out, to you and to them.

As to those of you who are bitching about attention to mothers, working or not, sounds to me like you resent the time you put in your jobs. And the working mothers, they did figure what you do at home in... Pointing out that the average full time working mother adds another 56 hours to her day taking care of her family.

And anyone saying being a mother is not a job... well, if you believe that you either A) do not have kids or B) do not have that prioritized enough. I was a working mom for 24 years. During that time I got to be a stay at home mom maybe a total of 4 years and every time I was a stay at home mom, I did licensed in home daycare, so not really just a stay at home mom.

Here is what I know... Getting up and getting your kids ready to go to school or daycare where for 6-10 hours a day someone else changes their diapers, cleans up their messes, makes their meals, reads them stories and answers their 999 or more questions in a day, not to mention monitors their safety and helps potty train them and teach them proper manners and such. Is a heck of a lot easier than staying home and doing all of that from 7am to 9pm (a 14 hour day). A stay at home mom, who does her job correctly, never gets to eat an uninterrupted, leisurely meal, watch a TV show in its entirety, have a conversation with another adult that is not interrupted to wipe a nose or stop a squabble or pull a child from a dangerous situation, (except perhaps at nap time, if you are lucky enuf to get all the kids to nap at once.) You can not call in sick, because even when you are sick you have to get up and feed the kids and make sure they are cared for. Most jobs you can call in sick, whether with or without pay. You can be a mother and running a fever of 101 and barely able to see, walk or stand, yet you HAVE to do it. When you have a job, you can call in and still send your kids to school and have 6-10 hours of relative peace to sleep or whatever, even if it is just because of a headache, cramps or some minor ailment. As to vacations. When a single person takes a vacation, even a working one, they only have to pack for one. When a mother takes a vacation, she packs for everyone, is responsible for all their travel needs and still has to diaper, feed, dress and manage all the details for everyone. At the airport she will have multiple bags and tickets to find, carry and have to keep an eye on her kids and keep them out of the way of others. The single person may have to answer phone calls, texts or emails, but they are only responsible for themselves and are being paid for it! Big difference. The only thing a mom gets from vacation is a break from major housework and dishes/cooking, sometimes. And a ton of laundry to do after the vacation is over.

As to the reference to being a CEO, there is a lot more to being a full time mom than keeping the groceries on budget. She must A) manage all the expenses of the house, B) oversee, and actually do most of the chores of keeping the house running-laundry, shopping, dishes, cooking, cleaning, lawn care, pet care, child care and of course tending to the physical & emotional needs of child/ren and spouse, plus teaching-toilet training, without outside help, homework and before that colors, shapes, numbers, letters, sharing, manners, etc. No she is not a TRAINED teacher, nurse or psychologist, but she wears those hats at some point every day without trianing... Many also learn to do minor home repairs and upgrades, saving the working husband time and money and wearing hat of handyman as well. So her job is to keep household on budget, oversee all work, do a large majority of the work and provide support. That would certainly be similar to a CEO's job, well except the CEO rarely has hands on in the company and has at least one assistant full time. Granted a household is on a much smaller scale than a business...but it is 24/7 and compensated for in the achievements and/or happiness of your children and husband and in hugs, kisses and thank yous, being taken for granted and feeling unappreciated go hand in hand with the job.

Single working mothers do it all on top of a full time job. Married working mothers have the help of a husband in some cases, but certainly not all.

As a mother who has finished raising her children, I can tell you, in the end, no matter what your job, the satisfaction of your aging comes from your success with your children. Yes your boss may have paid you for it all and you may have a healthy bank account and nice things, but seeing your child through school years without major trouble, having people compliment your children's behavior, watching your children walk across that stage to accept a diploma, seeing him or her getting their first job and managing their first home properly, or standing at the alter pledging their love, seeing them raising their own children with a balance of love and discipline, seeing them join the military and knowing they are one of those who are defending our country, and the first time your adult child thanks you for raising him right or mimics your own mothering skills in teaching, discipline or other attitudes means more than the money (or lack of) in the bank, more than a nice living room set vs the stained up, ripped one you have had for 20 years, more than any material thing or award or recognition your job gave you.

And when the children are finally grown and you and your spouse have some money and free time, then the grandkids come and the real fun starts. And that is true whether you were a stay at home mom, a work part time mom or a work full time mom... All in all the money in the world isn't worth much and frankly in this economy neither is the experience, but the rewards are more than enough compensation for a job well done.

OMG for all those people saying that being a mom is not a job - You obvioulsy do not have children! I became a mom one year ago (and about to have another in 6 months). I thought I would want to stay home and raise my children until I found out that days I am home I actually want to be at work because it is LESS DEMANDING and I am an accountant with a masters degree. So those that do not have children - don't judge because one day you will have them and feel like a complete @ss for saying the things you are saying!

Oh, and I might add: I believe that the most important job we will every have, any of us is being a spouse. Next to that would be being a parent. Nothing in this life on this earth will ever matter as much as your family, and the way that you raised your children. The way children are raised affects everyone in society. It is a Job, a very big job, if you are a parent who is doing all they can to do all that should be done. Just had to throw that little opinion in there. God bless you!!

It is just all in good fun to try to calculate what a mother would make if paid. All mothers are not the same in that they dont all care for the kids or the home in the same way. I think everyone deserved recognition that is working, children or not, mother or father, daughter or son, you know what I am getting at. But it does make me feel better to know that a stay at home mother is recognized as important. I am a stay at home mother because I choose to. I just make sure I spend wisely so that it can be done. I have six children and I would not want anyone else raising my children. God gave them to me to take care of and that is what I have chosen to do. I would never want to be on my death bed thinking, wow, I spent 20 years at.... whatever place of work. That is not for me, I want to be able to say I was with my children, caring for the home, and was always there when they needed me. Anyway, as I said, this is just something fun I think. Everyone has worth and not in just money. God be with you always!!!

hey

I get that stay at home mom is a full time job. I do not for one secon want to intimate that it isnt. just being home alone with my kids on the weekends or shcool holidays stresses me beyond belief. However, it drives me crazy that many suggest a stay at home mom does MORE than a working mom. I have to do all of the things the stay at home mom does only I have less time to do it AND i have a 40+ hour per week job that I must complete as well. I shouldnt have read this blog it just annoyed me :(

This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Who is watching your kids all day while you work? Someone? Who's getting paid? Ok well that's what we are doing all day. I'm feeding them, taking them places, wiping their butts and cleaning up after them nonstop, dealing with tantrums, fussy kids, and crying. While you work. You are not doing that AND working.

This was a simple article to point out all the unpaid labor that mothers do, and of course everyone has got to bash them, utterly MISSING THE POINT.

Gwenneth: Wow! That's great. Good for you! Your situation (minus the twins) is exactly where I hope to see myself in five years: working from home to write books and/or articles while raising my family. I'm not sure how I'll do it, exactly, since I know we won't be making as much money if I'm working from home, but I hope that option will be available to me. Anyway, best of luck with the book!

This article does address the working mother, she would supposedly bring home another 76,000 for working her "second shift" at home. I've stayed out the mommy wars as best I can, everyone does what works best for them. *shrug*

As a SAHM I don't really like this whole list. Every mom every day is not a nutritionist, preschool teacher, housekeeper: some days you just make a box of mac and cheese, put in a movie and let the house stay messy. Should our imaginary pay be docked those days?

How much would my husband's "second shift" paycheck be when you factor in lawn care, house repairs, spiritual leader (how much is a bedtime prayer worth?), woodcutter during winter, gardener in spring and summer.

I think that in a way trying to pin $ signs on the role of Mother is actually kind of condescending. "We know you're never gonna make a dime but here is what you could be worth if you had a real job!"
Everything in life is not measured by dollars and cents.

KM you obviously have never had a child. I would LOVE to watch you maintain a house, deal with a screaming baby by your self all day, get up all through the night, wake up whenever your child decides to wake up and go to bed whenever they decide to go to sleep. We do not get a break, no weekends off, no sick days, and we can't take a "vacation" from being a parent. SAHM is a 24/7 job.

Sophie's Mom: I'm sorry if that's the case, but does knowing how much you would get paid if someone were to compensate you actually make you feel better or just make you more depressed? Whenever I see these mom's lists or housewives' lists, I just feel worse knowing I'm doing most of the housework AND the finances AND working 40 hours a week outside the home, but not only do I not get paid for a lot of that stuff, I am also not included on the list. Why are housewives considered to have it harder than I do?

I think they need a new list. Thanks to all you people who work full-time and have stuff going on at home yet still find the time and the motivation to volunteer in the community and organize book clubs and writing clubs and type up your church's bulletin each week, for free.

Posted by km 2 hours 30 minutes ago

These salary reports are so annoying - let's put a dollar amount to the salary a stay at home mom should be earning just to validate her feelings since she doesn't actually go out and work. Staying at home and raising children is the easiest job you will ever have, don't kid yourself. I'm sorry but I work and raise a family and these reports do nothing for me.

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WTF are you smoking!?!?!?!?! It's NOT easy being a good parent while taking care of the house/family etc.....Note I said GOOD parent. Anyone can lay around the house all day and ignore their kids and think it's easy, but a GOOD parent gets all the sh*t done and still has time for the children..to teach them, to love them, etc. Easiest job you'll ever have????? HE11 NO.

Weezie, you're about a moron, aren't you? Being a GOOD parent IS a hard job. It's obvious you don't have a clue about it, so until you do, do us all a favor and STFU.

ok rockin' mom

same goes for you "shouldnt you be busy parenting right now" LMAO

ok,ok I think some people have misunderstood my comments.(bunch of mean moms out there,hope you dont treat your children this way when they dont agree with you)

I am not saying that the job is not hard, all I'm saying is that it is a CHOICE.There is no law saying that you have to be a parent if you do not WANT to.

To paperpush: Yeah that was what I was thinking from the first few posts it was crazy I thought wow. And now the little cat fight going on. Geez.

I know mom's are cool I mean their the best but dad's r just straight up idiots they don't give a @#$% they let moms do everything that is what i hate about fathers and Another thing is if your mom has a kid by ur dad and he leaves but when ur kid turns 18 or graduates from High School or college and u made something of ur life ur Mother @!#$%^& dad is go show up and be like "That's my baby thats my child he/she came from me."They will then want to be back in yo life cuz u did something worth a damn!It's sad and a load of crap!and if u don't like u can go to hell