By Aaron Traister, REDBOOK
Last week was a rough week for my oldest kid. It's been raining, so he hasn't gone outside; he started his first day of five-day pre-K; then 48 hours after starting his highly-anticipated school year, he was diagnosed with chickenpox. To top it all off, he walked in on Karel and me having sex.
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When I realized he had interrupted us, I leapt off his mother like I was a bizarro reverse Greg Louganis and shouted, "Mommy and Daddy are just wrestling!" Cliché, I know, but way more effective than Karel's offering, which was: "Daddy is scratching Mommy's belly!" In what universe did it look like I was scratching her belly? Luckily, I think the wrestling explanation stuck, but it's obvious he knows Mommy and Daddy are acting a little strange and that there is more to the story.
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Poor little guy. Weeks don't get much crappier, or more confusing, for a 5-year-old.
Needless to say, I've started spoiling him rotten while he's on chickenpox quarantine. I'm trying to drown his memories of what he saw in a sea of chocolate sundaes, Lego Star Wars creations, and Spiderman cartoons.
The trouble is that the incident is surrounded by such memorable events, I'm worried it's gonna be lodged in there pretty good. My hope is that in the future when someone mentions having the chickenpox he will suddenly find himself craving an ice cream sundae, as opposed to flashing back on what he saw in Mommy and Daddy's room.
For now, I'm finding myself fielding uncomfortable questions like, "Are you going to wrestle mommy on her back tomorrow morning?"
I'm trying to act natural, so I just answer honestly: "Hopefully, buddy. Hopefully."
So, here's my question for you guys: What do you do when your kid walks in on you? I'm not talking about what you SHOULD do. What's the bizarre stuff you've shouted, the things you've fallen off of, and explanations you've come up with? Please, feel free to share.
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