Would you respect a "stay-at-home wife"?

I think this writer is ignoring the fact that some families have decided that the old way was better, that there are benefits to having the wife take care of the home instead of having a job. It's about what's best for the family not about a status symbol. The only "status symbol" stay at home wives I've seen are on Desperate Housewives on tv. In real life people do it for their families. And one downside of the feminist movement was that society makes women feel ashamed or as the article puts it, not worthy of respect if she decides to devote more time to her family instead of working. Many families can live on one income if they live below their means and budget.

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Interesting discussion. I got married in the late 70's and we had our two children in the 80's. Growing up in the 50's and 60's I felt more connected with the idea that when I became a mother I would be able to stay home and raise our family. While my husband went to college, both he and I worked. We never really discussed the possibility of my staying home, I just did what seemed to be expected of me. I did a lot of part time jobs trying to do it all while childcare ate up most of my hard earned wages. If I was working I wanted to be home with the kids. If I was home with the kids I was made to feel guilty one way or another and felt I should be working. Jenny I can sympathize with you because we have a son who is ADD, also LD and from 17 to his late twenties suffers from an addiction problem. Being a mom doesn't stop when they reach 18 believe me. Women have always been the traditional caregivers. After spending several years taking care of my parents and my teenage children and trying to work I am taking some time for myself. Selfish?
To some yes. During a recent visit from my sister-in-law who I see and talk to maybe once a year, she asked me if I went and helped my husband (who has a small business) on a particular job that he had recently or did I stay at home and do laundry? I just laughed and walked away - dumbfounded - it was truly a "What the Hell?" moment.
For those who have never had a special needs child or taken care of elderly parents, they just don't know the amount of energy that is needed. For those who can "do it all" - Congratulations.
But in the end what I finally learned after 30 + years of marriage. Talk to your spouse, come to an agreement and support each other in whatever you two decide that is right for your situation. And above all be true to yourself and need be - just smile and walk away : )

What is feminism exactly? Isn't it all about woman's rights? Doesn't a woman have the right to be a stay-at-home mother or wife if she wishes? and shouldn't she be respected for her choice just as much as a woman with a diferent career is?
Being a good wife and mother require effort, and intelligence -it's not a cop out to want to be those things instead of pursue a different career.
I know it's just a movie, but Mona Lisa Smile with Julia Roberts deals with this exact issue, and is a good film to watch.

I would welcome becoming a stay-at-home-wife if my significant other were to somehow secure a well-paying job. Keeping the home is like having a second full-time job (I have one currently in retail). I have also recently been diagnosed with a hyperactive thyroid (and still finding out why that is), so it would be nice if I wouldn't have to "call out" anymore for when I have bad health days. I could also pursue my 1st (and really only) passion: writing. Additionally, I could volunteer. Then once the kids come along, I'd be the primary care-giver.

Yes, I have a bachelor's degree, but I don't think it would be wasted MANAGING a WHOLE household, doing the accounting, balancing my time, keeping a schedule, AND raising a family. Also, there are theories about why the divorce rate is so high: increasingly, BOTH people in the coupling have full-time jobs (and probably working damn hard to climb up higher), so they barely have enough time, energy, or patience to spend any quality time together anymore. I'd rather keep my marriage than my job.

For richer or for poorer...

One major activity of stay-at-home moms is home schooling. Their contribution of essentially running a school for their children is in many cases the best financial decision for the family. In many cases, the salary of the mother would not cover two or three private school tuitions. In some cases, schools cannot or will not provide an appropriate education. Religious preferences are a factor for some but a growing percentage are doing it to ensure "Johnny CAN write."

if we could afford it i would stay home. why would me not working make me a less valuable spouse. do i need to have a college education or burn my bra to contribute something to my community and still be proud to be a woman? to each his or her own and we do we need to have an opinion on everybody else's life. mind your own household and never mind what your neighbor is doing.

I agree with Nini Poo...My first thought after reading "Stay at home wives are wasting their minds and education" was didnt you just say their time was spent on creative projects and charity work? I'm sure their mind & education is an asset. To have the luxuary to CHOOSE another experience that allow you the stability to get all "domesticated" is wonderful. I'm NOT going to judge a woman who invested in her education and career as single woman because her priorities/goals shifted now that she have a family...I'm happily married with no kids, and I'm sorry but most of the women that judge so harshly are the ones that cant fathom living this way...because the option have never come their way...and their hating, lol...bottom line

I strongly believe a man and woman should split everything 50/50. House chores, caring for children and financially. I have raised my daughter 100% alone for 10 years and now have met a wonderful man who I will be marrying soon. I would never think of leaving my paying job to dump the bills in his lap. There is no way I'd let him pay for my vehicles (payment, gas, insurance, maintence) for me to drive. Good grief....would he even buy my shampoos, soap and tampons? I think theres a name for someone like that. I stay clear from someone I think may try and mooch off me. I definately would never do that to anyone.
Selfish!

They way I see it feminism was the worst thing to ever happen because men still see women as the main cook and house cleaner and child raiser but now they expect us to work too... Some women balance these things well but its not easy doing it all if a women wants to stay at home then there is no promblem with that!!! I do not have any children yet and just recently got a divorce but look if im cooking cleaning and having sex you him everynight and working taking care of kids bla bla when is "me time"

everyone deserves respect whatever they do even a 24/7 stay at home house wife.except if their bullies

I think a stay at home mom is far different than a stay at home wife. What in the world would you do all day if you aren't volunteering? I cook dinner every night and keep a very clean house and a nice size garden and I work full time. Also what happens if you don't have kids and your husband leaves you. If you haven't worked in 10 years ...good luck finding a good paying job to keep your previous lifestyle. Now stay at home mom's I totally understand.

What an insulting question. Of course I would and do.

Wow, incredible. Are we setting back womens rights??? Absolutely NOT. It is a Womans right to stay at home and take care of everything if finances allow it. Its a womans right to go out and have a career if she so chooses. That was the beauty of the womens rights, to choose what we want to do. So now, if we choose to stay at home, and care for the home, and children, and do Charity work, which is something that is greatly needed, were setting womens rights back??? Geesh.
Let me tell you something, when my husband and I first got married, I was a stay at home wife. That was not easy work. I did the shopping, kept the check book balanced, wrote out the bills, did the laundry, I kept this house spotless. I even did the yard work, and hauled off the garbage. I stayed busy from the time I got up, and got my husband out the door to work, until the time, we went to bed at night. Not easy. When my husband got laid off from work due to the place he worked closing its doors, I went out and got a job. Now we have every thing split down when it comes to keeping things done, and let me tell you, we have less time together trying to keep everything done up between work, and here. Luckily we have a strong relationship, and will get through this. The way the economy is going, I don't count on ever being a stay at home wife again, but if I had the chance, I would do it again, b/c I love taking care of my husband, and I'm pretty sure he loved being taken care of.

Having done both, I've found what works for me. I work part-time as a teaching assistant, with a schedule that matches up to my child's. Then I take a few online, evening, or weekend classes that match up with my Hubby's schedule. Working towards a B.S. in nursing. If all goes as planned, she'll be in middle school by the time I'll be working more. And even then we plan on timing it so she is never home alone. Keep them busy, keep them supervised. My current schedule allows me to help my family, our futures, and still have time for them now. I had a wake up call a few years a go when he was ill, and headed back to school & work. Get your education, build some job skills and experience (volunteer work counts too!), and enjoy your family time. But, when it comes down to it, it's truly just a matter of whatever works for your family. Everybody and every situation is different.

I think its fine as long as you have an agreement or pre-nup saying that you are taken care of financially should the marriage end. It's hard getting back in the working world when you've been lolly-gagging around for a few years...

Being a stay at home WIFE (or spouse has both advantages and disadvantages:

ADVANTAGE: Its like winning the lottery in a way, specially if your husband is making oodles of money. Who wouldn't want to get money without having to work and do whatever they wanted when they wanted it? I think those wives are quite smart letting someone do all the work and benefiting from it. However....

DISADVANTAGE: If one person holds all the money the dynamic changes. I don't know about the rest of you but I would never feel comfortable having to explain my use of money to someone else or having to ask someone to give me money, even if that person is my husband. I believe you lose control of your life that way. Secondly, what happens if your husband dies or is laid off, or most commonly decides to exchange you for a younger model? You're stuck without money and no skills that an employer will see as useful. The divorce rate being what it is I don't believe this situation is that uncommon.

So IMHO I respect the stay at home wife who knows what she's doing. A woman (say Ivana Trump with her "don't get mad, get everything") who knows she has it good right now but has the brains (and the legal advice) to plan for eventualities in the future.

I'm not even touching the stay at home mom's topic, being a mother in this day and age is all about being pulled in 8 different directions and trying not to feel guilty about every choice. I admire working moms, stay at home moms, part-time-job moms etc for the brave choice they have to make... and I never EVER want to be one.

Many moms home school their children during the day, either by choice, or the child has health problems that prohibits traditional classroom attendance. And, they may work from home, or work when their spouse gets home in the evening. As a former stay-at-home mom, I can assure you I much prefer it to the corporate world. And you'd be shocked how many moms at home have superior degrees...it sort of tells you something, doesn't it? That there is a lot of work, brain power, needed in order to be a mom of worth!

im one of those and let me tell you NO... they dont and niether do there family members ....

PS- I am a stay-at-home fiancee with no kids. soalberg -I totally understand your point on the not working thing....you need to have a window in case something happens, which is why I got the little job on the weekends, its not much at all- but that money is my money to save for whatever I need it for.
I don't have anytime to really be bored at all. I am constantly cleaning, cooking, working out, watering plants, list goes on- there is always something to do in the house, and if you are bored, then you obviously aren't looking hard enough.

Can I also give a salute to all mothers? I am not one myself, but am so proud of you for all you do- both SATHM and WM!

And wives that clean the house....salute to you too!