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    5 Secrets of Super Successful People

    What's the difference between good and great?

    Why are some people able to create super successful lives, while most of their peers hover near the mediocre middle?

    As someone who's spent a lifetime studying human behavior, I can tell you, success isn't just about your level of education or your skills. It's about the mindset that you bring to everything, particularly your interactions with others.

    The superstars of life don't just behave differently; they think differently. To be clear, when I say superstar, I'm not just talking about monetary or career success. I'm talking about success as a human being.

    Because whether you're trying to become a superstar parent or a superstar salesperson, the difference between success and failure always starts with mindset. Your own internal thought track sets the tone for all of your interactions.

    Here are the five mindsets of life's superstars:

    1. Superstars hold two agendas in their mind at the same time.

    Average people tend to approach their interactions with others focused exclusively on their own goals. Superstars, on the other hand, go into situations focused on their goals AND the goals of the other person. This seemingly nuanced difference in thinking is why superstars create better relationships and garner more support for just about everything they do.

    2. Superstars can sit with uncertainty.

    Mediocre performers want things to go according to their script. Whether it's a sales call, a board meeting or a family reunion, they get anxious in the face of change and uncertainty. Superstars, on the other hand, are more confident. They know that they'll ultimately be to close the deal, make the presentation, or fill their plate in the buffet line, but they're not attached to having it play out in a certain way. This keeps them from getting uneasy and makes them more fun and engaging to be around.

    3. Superstars think backwards.

    Many people approach their life thinking, "I have these problems or goals; how might my spouse, boss, parent, coworker or customer help me eliminate them, solve them or accomplish them?" Superstars reverse it: they think, "I have this spouse, customer, coworker, parent or boss; how might I be helpful?"

    4. Superstars define success differently.

    Many people tend to view the people around them as helpers or obstacles. When describing others they often use words like supportive, helpful, uncooperative, gatekeeper, blocker or even competitive threat, defining others solely in the context of whether they're going to help or hinder their own efforts.

    Superstars have a different definition of success. Other people aren't just a means to accomplish their goals; other people are their goal. They want to create success for everyone.

    Is Fear of Success Holding you Back?

    5. Superstars show up with love.

    There are basically only two emotions: love and fear. They play out the same way at work as they do in our personal lives. Love expands; fear contracts.

    Average people might not be quaking in their boots every minute of the day, but they spend a lot of time worrying about whether or not things will go their way. This unspoken fear creates an emotional wall between them and everyone they encounter. Superstars have no such barrier. When they're with you, they're fully with you. They're not distracted by unspoken angst, so they show up life with their heart and soul.

    The 6 Questions You Must Answer to Have Happiness in Your Relationship and Your Life

    Mastering these mindsets isn't easy. But once you start thinking like a superstar, it's only a matter of time before you become one."

    Written by Lisa Earle McLeod for Hybrid Mom

    MORE FROM HYBRID MOM:

    15 Powerful Life Lessons

    The Secret to Motivating Employees

    5 Ways to Create Holistic Success in Your Life and Work

    The 67 Emotions of Online Success: My Story

    3 Secrets of Highly-Successful People

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    10 comments

    • ernie.cordell  •  8 months ago
      I wonder about the expression "They know that they’ll ultimately be to close the deal" -- is that supposed to say "be there to close?" I'm sorry, but I can't buy into this the way it's written. Breaking the spectrum of emotions down to love and fear doesn't work for me either. It's too much like the "there's only two kinds of people" axioms. And speaking of dichotomies, for once I'd like to see people NOT being categorized into successes on one hand, and failures on the other. As for love being a force in the world -- sure; but I have a feeling that achieving success is more about enlightened self-interest. And knowing on which side your bread is buttered helps focus one on wins not just for oneself, but for others in one's community.
    • Impressed  •  8 months ago
      This article is a spasm of idealistic, wishful thinking: "Gee, wouldn't it be great if being helpful to others made me a superstar?" Back here on planet Earth, that's not the way it usually works.
    • topguy10  •  9 months ago
      DOUG: Wow, you hit home with your comment. That's my boss to a tee. Whatever benefits HER and HER business is how it's going to go no matter who gets burned in the process. Donald Trump once said, "You don't become rich by being nice" and I wish he was full of crap, but unfortunately that's the norm for businesses and it's all about the green.
    • Robin J. Sky  •  9 months ago
      I kind of agree with Doug. I tend to see a lot of those "superstar" qualities in my husband, and while he does like to involve other people and get help when he needs it, he is ultimately focused on his goals and his alone. What sets him apart is that he understands intimately that he REQUIRES other people to reach his goals. Most of us are constricted by that "fear", and try to go it alone until we absolutely cannot. My husband is not afraid to reach out from the get go, to have some help just as he starts wheels turning, and in building those initial relationships, he is overall more successful.
    • Stephanie  •  9 months ago
      to the writer of this article: If what you say is true, I'm just wondering: do you use this information to your own good? And did they work out? just curious. :)
    • MM  •  9 months ago
      Very odd definition of superstar. Sounds more like a super sacrificer. I think I'll focus on other things.
    • pinky  •  9 months ago
      sorry but with the whole love and fear thing all that came to mind was the movie "DONNIE DARKO" lmfao i couldnt help it it made me giggly really lough
    • Doug S  •  9 months ago
      I agree that superstars view things differently from the rest of us, but I disagree that superstars go through life with this "win-win", tree hugging, we're-all-in-it-together philosophy. All of the superstars I have ever known have been most intimately concerned with their own success, usually at the expense of others. While they're happy to see others do well if it helps their own cause, they won't hesitate to throw anyone under the bus if it's expedient to do so.
    • Deligencio  •  8 months ago
      For me "superstars" they only do their duty in which the other has something to benefit out of it- be it material or emotional.So their duty is only to do what will satisfy their ambition at the same time the other parties gainig or losing something somehow.
    • djmallbangs  •  9 months ago
      I agree with 90% of this. The people in my life I feel are 'superstars' really do seem to come from a place of calm energy. They don't walk into a room worried about what people are thinking, they arent afraid to talk to strangers, and they don't just use people to get what they want. They seem to make genuine connections with people they meet and those people won't forget them.

      A friend of mine is like this. People adore him because he's genuine and doesn't treat people like stepping stones. Because of that he's been really successful in his job and personal life because he's easy to talk to and just goes for it. He doesn't sit around worried about the next step or what he should say or thinking about some separate agenda about who he needs to step over to get what he wants.