Becoming a mom has changed the very essence of my being. It's the biggest and most amazing thing I've ever done, but at the same time, I can't help but feel like I often have to apologize for myself. Other people don't always exactly get the new mom thing, and so, I'm offering an apology for these five recurring behaviors.
Speaking openly about poop
"Did she poop?" has become a daily question to my infant daughter's babysitter. My mom group friends and I discuss shades, textures, and frequency of poop as if we're sharing what we're cooking for dinner tonight. I went to friends for suggestions about how to deal with "solid food poop" in cloth diapers. Poop is no longer taboo; it is a way of life.
Wearing my hair in a ponytail
There are a lot of reasons you'll rarely see my hair down anymore. I don't have a lot of time to spend on myself in the morning, so it's easy to just throw my hair back. My baby thinks my hair is a pull-toy, so I'd rather keep it out of her reach. After I had the baby, my hair started falling out like a cat sheds, so I was hoping a ponytail would minimize the damage. And frankly, I have bigger fish to fry than the hair critics.
Sharing all things baby… with everyone
I can't help it. It seems unfair to withhold any picture I take of my daughter. Every milestone, her insane growth rate, her amazing smile, each new outfit she wears - I just feel compelled to chronicle it all on Facebook. You may not be interested in the fact that she babbled "dada" today or that she's outgrowing her last clothes size, but my pride and excitement just kind of bubbles over without a filter from time to time.
Passing on your invitation
If you ask me to do something after 7pm, I'm probably going to have to turn you down due to the baby's bedtime routine. If you ask me to go to a restaurant with you for lunch, I might have to pass because, well, babies are expensive and I'm trying to save every penny I can. If you want me to go somewhere that my kid isn't welcome, I might not be able to make the necessary arrangements to go. My lifestyle has changed a lot since I became a mom, but it's been so worth the sacrifices.
If I seem distracted, I probably am. I am checking my phone to make sure the babysitter doesn't need me. I am trying to problem-solve my baby's latest rash. I am in zombie-mode because she didn't sleep last night. Or I'm scanning the room for every tiny scrap of paper and choking hazard that might eventually end up in my daughter's mouth. I want to hear what you're saying, but a little person has completely trumped any priorities I used to have for myself, and it's taking me a little while to get everything balanced. I'm not sure if I'll ever "outgrow" these new mom behaviors, but I appreciate your patience and understanding while I figure it all out.
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