7 things you need to get a grip on before getting into a relationship

You've probably heard many times how you can't have a successful relationship until you're relatively happy with yourself first and it's absolutely true. Sure, you're going to attract guys even if you're miserable, but they're likely not going to be who truly makes you happy and treats you the way you want and deserve to be treated. The best way to land a happy and healthy relationship is to start by improving yourself first. There are several things you need to get a grip on before committing to a guy so you can increase the chances of landing the relationship you've always wanted while bettering yourself in the process.

Anger problems

Pent up anger does nothing good for yourself or a relationship. It's like a disease that can rub off on even the most calm individuals if they're exposed to it long enough. This creates quite the toxic relationship that likely won't have a very long life span. To deal with your anger issues, try meditation, yoga, working on the issues that are making you angry in the first place and talking to loved ones about what you're dealing with. Another option is to talk to a counselor. You may be surprised how therapeutic it can be to talk to a neutral party who only wants the best for you and can't repeat anything you say.

Negative attitude

A negative attitude can suck the life out of your partner and your relationship. I've dated a couple of guys who were more glass empty than glass full and their negative attitudes ate away at me. No one wants to be around those who are negative and a guy isn't going to want to be in a relationship with someone who drags him down rather than lifts him up. Work on changing your way of thinking and it can make a huge difference in your life.


There's nothing wrong with a little bit of jealousy in a relationship, but a huge dose of it can pose big problems. Jealousy stems from several places including insecurity, your past and/or the fact that you're doing stuff you shouldn't and projecting those feelings onto your guy. You have to get to the root of your jealousy problem and deal with it as soon as possible before you commit exclusively to a new guy. It's almost a death sentence to your relationship if you don't get it handled.

Bad money habits

No one is saying you have to have millions in the bank, but most guys will not stay long term with a woman who is going to financially drag them down. Guys want to feel secure in a relationship and be certain that their credit isn't going to take a nosedive if they eventually marry a woman they're dating. Review your financial info and start focusing on saving more, spending less and paying down your debt.


Many guys have no problem complimenting a woman, but they'll get tired of doing it if they start to feel as if she needs all those nice words to get by on a daily basis. When you bash yourself, the guy feels like he has to compliment you and all that flattery starts to lose its luster. Before long, he'll just roll his eyes whenever you make a negative remark about yourself and huff out some half-baked flattering remark. Confidence is sexy to a man and when you believe in yourself, he starts to see all the good things about you as well. Every day, write down what you love about yourself and every time you catch yourself doing some self-bashing, turn it around and compliment yourself instead.

Feelings for your ex

You should never go into a relationship until you've completely gotten over all the guys from your past. It's one thing to hold one or two ex's in your heart and treasure what you went through with them, but it's a completely different story when you say you're still in love with them. Feeling this way can be incredibly detrimental to any relationship you get into. Until you get over your ex and are truly ready to move forward, hold off on getting into a new relationship.

Commitment issues

If you're unsure you want to be in a relationship or you're going to cheat while you're involved with someone else, there's zero point in being in a relationship until you get both issues dealt with. Not only are you going to hurt the other person, but you're going to carry that guilt and regret with you if you break the guy's heart. Until you're absolutely sure you want to get involved with a specific person and you're not going to cheat, you're better off staying single. In the meantime, figure out what's causing you to feel the way you do so you can increase the chances of having a successful relationship in the future.

Starting with yourself is the absolute best way to find a happy and healthy relationship with a guy as well as develop one with yourself. Any negative habits you have translate over to your relationship, so wouldn't you rather put yourself in the best position to have all that you want? Put all the negativity behind you and start moving forward. It's never too late to make changes that can impact your life for the better.

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