DEAD END

Have you ever worked so hard at something .....went thru it all and then some. To find out you were the only
one with the goal. I have went to hell and back a couple times. If he or she does not return those loving feelings....walk away as fast you can. Please do not go into denial and try to convince yourself that he or she cares you are just prolonging the inevitable. Dont be a co dependent to your heart listen to your head and your gut. If you feel he or she is cheating they probably are. I have went down that 4000 mile road to find it was a heartbreaking dead end and he or she will leave you there with no water. If anyone ever tells you they want or are in a poly house and they want you to join RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!!!! Save yourself the pain.

Although I did not get the truth right up front. He brought me in made it easy for me to fall for him.
After he had my heart secured he lowered the boom.Oh by the way I am also in love with another lady.
Also by the way she is moving in this weekend (mouth dropped to floor) tears flowing. Wow that was 8 months
into the relationship if you want to call it that. It was to late for me. I was hopelessly devoted to him by this point.
She came and moved in with him which was of course very short lived. We lived very close to each other I could
toss a rock and it would land in his yard which was one down from mine. If I was smart I would have cut all ties
at that point but NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO he was an addiction at that point. I am a very honest
bottom line person and usually I have absolutly no reason to lie.....but I told two huge lies that I will go to my grave with to keep him intwined. What a mess I am so ashamed of myself at this point looking back.

All I can say is those were the strongest feelings I have ever felt. He was my own personal brand of heroin.
Its been almost a year since I took anything he said seriously or longer. I at some point lost respect for him and I knew he didnt care but I still had to have him. I was out of control. I actually moved in with him as if I hadnt had enough. It only lasted six months because he cheated on me the same as he did to her with me. I moved back to my house for anohter year and have moved completely away new neighborhood. So the moral of this is if you
meet anyone who says they want a poly family this means they can cheat on you anytime and his biggest wish would be to have several wives in the same house fighting for his love .........WOW what an ego right!!!!!
Really even when I tried to share him I came up on the short end of the stick. You cant love equally in between many. I am constantly reading about how others in the lifestyle men and women and how they think
about sharing and the general consincise is they all feel like they fall short of another that lives in the house and jeaulousy runs rampit even when you know what you are getting into. I have given this years of thought. I really did try to understand his wants and needs and it comes down to this, He doesnt really care for her or me or anyone
for that matter his dog even suffers. On his birthday he was crying saying nobody loved him or bought him gifts or even wanted to be with him ............yes he loves to play the poor me card.

This is why...so I fold, I go and get him go to the store buy him a small gift, buy dinner go back to his house to
watch a movie and hang out. Was it enough NO he had to call her and start that s---. So he pissed both of us off again.
I had had enough ...I could not believe he ruined a for sure thing for a suck ass conversation with a girl that is so
whiney it seemed to DRAGGGGGGGGGGGG on. I got frustrated and thought to myself (IS THIS WHAT HE WANTED FOR HIS B-DAY???) WOW ok so I was standing behind him and he was naked with a hard on I pulled his hair and head back kissed him on his cheek from behind and left him there. Happy birthday freak.
Any way the saga continued for what seemed like an eternity. He continues to choose a long distance
relationship over the here and now, because there is no accountability with her. He does as he wants but he
is totally devoted to her by phone. What a joke. So do you see the part where they are confused men f--- ed up in the head he called me whining no body wanted him on his b-day but ended up screwing it up anyway. GO figure. He lived with me recently for two monthshe really tried but I dont feel the same can will never trust him with my heart we cant even be freinds and that has only happened one other time in my life.

The same as his confusion with what he or she is. First he said he is dominant and she is a slave .....
Now he is the slave and she is the dominant I geuss nobody knows what they are except confused.
He gets it from her like twice a year if he is lucky when she leaves her husband. She is really cucking him from
a far she has always done this. He is like me blinded by her......but he deserves it. She also stole $1000.00
dollars from one of our friends and she has the nerve to judge others.

4 years later I am headed in the right direction away from them.
Life is in session I am moving forward.