NYC in the Summer: Pest Control Tips

New York City exterminators have their work cut out for them.
By Noah Garfinkel, Networx

In the summer there's an explosion of bugs everywhere. And, in winter, there's an explosion of mice trying to head indoors. Basically, no matter what season it is, there's an endless cycle of exploding pests in New York City. (The pests aren't literally exploding or there wouldn't really be an issue. You get that right? We're all on the same page here.) But, there are a few basic things you can do to keep pests away. Let's review them? Yeah, let's review them.

So, uh… put your food away. Obviously. I mean, it seems obvious, but some people seem not to know that. They'll complain about having roaches and then you think, "Well, yeah. Your kitchen is an ocean of food trash." If you build a roach terrarium in your kitchen, you're going to have roaches. And, you'll also have mice sometimes, but the mice you can at least try to keep away by filling wall holes with steel wool. They can't chew through steel wool…or maybe they just don't like it? I don't know. I'm not a mouse doctor or a New York City exterminator. But, with roaches it's a little more complicated. For example, if you're repainting your kitchen, you can mix cayenne pepper into your pant before you apply it. Bugs hate cayenne pepper apparently, and it keeps them away. I actually don't like cayenne pepper that much either, but I'll still totally hang out even if it's in your paint. #coolfactsaboutme Also, roaches also can't stand bay leaves, mint, or sage. They're essentially 5-year-old picky eaters. Just put a pot growing any of those herbs by a window, and roaches will think that window is "uch so gross".

Even if all your prevention methods prove inadequate, professional extermination is usually quite effective. But… then there are bedbugs. Those are much harder to get rid of. I know this because I got them in 2008 and went insane. With bed bugs, prevention is crucial. The most important thing you can do to prevent from getting bedbugs is to not pick up furniture lying on the curb and bring it into your house. Just don't do it. I know you want that bedside table, but you can't have it. "It looks like it's clean, though." BEDBUGS DON'T CARE ABOUT CLEAN! They just like hiding in stuff and then drinking your blood while you sleep. They couldn't care less if that roadside coffee table has a glossy finish. It's just not worth the risk. Best-case scenario: You end up with a new piece of furniture. Worst-case scenario: You end up covered in red welts, throwing away everything you own except two garbage bags of clothes washed in antiseptic, and moving into your friends' place in Ridgewood, Queens.

Hopefully these pointers will help you avoid an influx of pests. There are some other pests that I didn't get to cover here, but roaches, mice, and bedbugs are definitely the the big three. Silverfish exist somewhere out in the world, but I don't even really know what they are. They are probably silver. They are probably not fish.