10 Things NOT To Do This Halloween

1. Dress up as a naughty cat, naughty bunny, naughty nurse, or naughty nun.

2. Carve Monet's Haystacks into a pumpkin because Martha Stewart told you to.

3. Bob for apples, unless you get to go first. (The spit, people. The inevitable, disgusting other-people spit.)

4. Use your masked identity as an excuse to TP your ex-boyfriend's house.

5. Dress your child as a car air freshener.

6. Eat anything that may have masqueraded as monster brains an hour ago.

7. Force your cat to get into costume by wearing a Kitty Wig .

8. Do the Monster Mash.

9.Give out "healthy treats," like raisins and tangerines. In a few years the recipients will return, armed with toilet paper and eggs, to have their righteous revenge.

10. Force your boyfriend to dress up as the Sam Ronson to your Lindsay Lohan.

CONTINUE READING: 15 More Things NOT To Do This Halloween


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