Dealing with Rejection of Life

I am sitting here today just thinking about the yucky changes in my life and the good ones included over the last decade which makes me think about how many people have walked out on me. I guess that life is not all peaches and roses but there certainly is a point where you start blaming yourself for losing the closest people in your life. I have for the most part been a very positive attitude person who gets things done with little self pity as that is what being in business has taught me over my lifetime. Turning forty something age has certainly made me see the difference in how people view life in general with a more critical less caring attitude. I never thought that as you age that would mean you would eventually end up all alone with virtually no one to love or be loved and cared about because your not valued anymore by the people who are the longest term of years in your life. What a wake up call to find nobody left in your close family and friends cares any more about you with not even a phone call for many years after being very loving,caring and giving to them. It really is shocking that you find yourself saying what did I ever do to deserve being abandoned and cut off by the very same people you have spent the most time,money,effort and lifetime on being with them to be treated as you don't exist anymore. I am sure that someone reading this will probably identify with what is happening to me over the last ten years but more importantly at least they know that some other poor slob like me is suffering the same ugly fate. It is a unhappy way to live being dumped by everyone in your life who you have 25 to 35 years of time invested including all your love and caring only to find out that your no longer valued anymore. This is what has happened to me which I never thought would happen and why would it since I gave these small group of people everything with no limits imposed and now they don't even have the common decency to even call me,write me or even care if I am dead or alive. I am sitting here taking out my frustration on the blog post here since as usual I have none of the people I call life-timers to share anything with since they have all giving me the gate one by one after age 38 this has happened to me. I don't like to write about personal issues usually but maybe through my misery and unhappy feelings someone out there reading this will feel better about themselves knowing that your not alone being middle age like me. I always thought if you got to age fourty your life would be a story book happy life with a loving wife and more of everything good in your life all at the same time. Well, sad to say that what a shock to find out how rotten life in middle age really is when you end up with nothing you worked so hard to accomplish and all the most important people in your life bail out on you and have nothing to do with you anymore showing a total lack of caring. I thought if you get to middle age looking back when I was twenty that it would a time in my life filled with endless joy but the sad truth is I was totally wrong about most everything that I envisioned as a future life. Yes, being older does have a few benefits since your still living and not planted with a grave maker if your rich enough to afford one but you really start to add up all the loses verses the gains. It is this time that you see how little you actually have really made progress in life and how other people don't care anymore about you that once used to call you 20 times a day. Now the phone never rings for years at a time and no mail is ever sent ,they change or block the phone number and your lucky if your just even a after thought on the horizon which is how your treated now by them after 25 plus years involvement. I find that I am always the one who has to make the effort to even get them just to want to spend any time with me at all which is a significant change from a decade in the past when they would literally being hanging around full time weekly. What a sad case I feel about living at age 44 that no one of the original group of my closest people cares anymore about me and even bothers to acknowledge that I even exist on this planet for all the wonderful good I have done for them. I know that the old add-age is don't cry in your beer or just let them go be stupid but seriously when you have 25 years and longer time spent with each one of these people and you wake up and go to bed with nothing with and from them you tend to curse this wretched planet and sometimes them too for leaving you behind or outright dumping you permanently. You wake up and go to bed saying the same thing WHY ME ?? to yourself everyday of your life because you still love and care about them a lot as your wife,friends and family but sadly you get a big fat zero from them. When you invest a quarter century into a wife,friends and family you certainly should be very highly valued since you made the effort that other people failed to do but somehow that all is no longer important to them including all the good I have done for them. So here I sit another day alone with nothing to be happy about coming from all of them which you never get used to it happening no matter how much you try to say to yourself all kinds of excuses for their bad behavior but it still never erases the pain,sorrow and disappointment you feel each and every day and tomorrow included. Hopefully this helps some poor soul like me to feel inspired to talk about their life and what they are doing being middle age American male with not much joy being older age..
Then END...............