Tipping the scales of work-life balance
Last night, I fell asleep while putting the little ones to bed. When I woke up (in my preschooler's room) nearly three hours later, I was totally useless. I stumbled downstairs, thinking that at the very least I needed to wash the dishes so they don't linger overnight, but my husband had already done them and that threw me for a loop. (I meant to do dishes? And they're done? And I didn't do them? What else did I do unconsciously while I was thinking I needed to do it? Anything? Wait, what?) After wandering around aimlessly and sitting in front of my computer for a full three minutes before noticing it was off, I called it quits and went to bed for real.
Who knew that getting a little extra sleep could have the same effect on your body as sleep deprivation?
What I did know, even as I tripped going back up the stairs, was that my to-do list was going to double the next day. Because my current search for work-life balance involves some very carefully choreographed scheduling, and my impromptu nap had thrown that out of whack.
I try to get up before the kids every day, but with our toddler rising and shining before the sun (seriously, we call him "the baby alarm clock" because he goes off at 5:45 a.m. at least six times a week, room-darkening shades and soft music notwithstanding) and our preschooler prone to sleepwalking her way into our room at odd hours, I rarely get up before they get me up. Then, my husband goes to work (if he hasn't left already) and I feed, dress, play with, and pack lunches for the kids before I take them to school and head to the office myself.
From the time I get in until about 5 p.m., I'm on the company clock, and I try hard to stay focused. I don't always succeed.
I use my drive back home as my "me" time, returning personal phone calls (I know, very bad) and listening to music that offends my husband's former-rock-critic sensibilities (you can take the girl out of New Jersey, but you can't take Jersey out of the girl -- my hair, it is naturally big, and the Bon Jovi, it is naturally loud).
Once I get home, that time is for my family, and that is non-negotiable.
Once the little kids are in bed, I flip open my shiny, blessed laptop and start working. If the big kids are with us, then I bring the computer into the family room to hang out with them while I work and try to feel a little less conflicted. I try to work three to five hours a day on my second job and I try to give myself one night off each week. My goal is to get to bed by 12 a.m., but truthfully, I usually get absorbed in a story I'm writing or editing and head upstairs around 1 a.m.
So, you can see how sleeping until nearly midnight in a lilac-colored room, under a hot-pink comforter, with a bony little back curled warm against my chest and a woolly little head tucked under my chin, wasn't part of the plan. But you can probably understand how it could happen -- and why I would happily trade a longer to-do list for that kind of cozy time.
What is your schedule like? How do you get it all done?
Lylah M. Alphonse is a full-time editor, a freelance writer, and mom and step mom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day on Work It, Mom!, and blogs about writing at Write. Edit. Repeat.
