Have you heard the song, "Titanium" by David Guetta? It's awesome and pretty much feels like my current frame of mind. The beat is strong and the voice is memorizing almost hypnotic. My favorite part of the song says, "I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose fire away, fire away ricochet, you take your aim fire away, fire away." It speaks to the part of me that feels so strong and invincible, unbreakable. Here is the link to the song's video. So good: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRfuAukYTKg
A few weeks ago, Cindi, Golden Door's Behavioral Therapist, walked me through an exercise that resulted in me picturing what my "old" self looks and feels like if were to hold her as an object. I immediately imagined a raw, brown egg, fragile and breakable, warm and perfectly centered in my palm. Familiar. On the other hand, I pictured what my true self looks like if she were incarnated into something touchable, and I immediately pictured a beautiful sphere of shiny metallic type material, light yet strong, that can best be described as titanium, which is probably another reason why I like that song so much. The exercise resulted in me embracing both of these aspects of myself into one object and the egg folding peacefully and completely into the sphere and it made me feel so peaceful! I know it might sound cray cray but seriously, therapy works!
Releasing my negative thoughts manifests in many ways: I write, I paint, I workout, I sing, I drive, and I spend time in nature. These activities help me let go of the expectations that I have so that I can live in a peaceful and loving frame of mind. Honestly, I feel that if I could live at the gym I would. The greatest release comes in working out. Ellen taught me the most amazing intensity workout that anyone can do called, tabata training. It's four minutes/eight intervals and will kick your butt! You go hardcore for 20 seconds then rest for 10 seconds. You do that cycle for 4 minutes and WOW! I've done it on the treadmill a few times this week, we did it with chest press last Monday and I was sore for three days! I love having a trainer because she challenges me to do things I would have never thought possible. She is loving and kind, and treats me like I'm a million dollar client, but I'm not, I'm just me without anything to give except wiliness and sweat! That's the amazing thing about the folks at Golden Door, they treat everyone with kindness and respect. I've never felt "less than" anyone there. It's amazing when you consider what people pay to stay there for a week!
One more ah-ha moment for me over the last few weeks was realizing that I do not accept negativity in my immediate bubble anymore. I am very nice about it, but if someone is sucking my energy or being negative, I simply wish them well in my heart and put space between us. It's liberating. Everyone is walking their path, but we don't need to walk alongside each other if I want to skip and you want crawl or vice versa. I think this is a sign of my co-dependency on others slowly melting away. Yahoo! Thank you for reading and be blessed. Try tabata and releasing negative thoughts and people; it will change your outlook and your life's outcomes, instantaneously.