Why I didn't change my name when I got married

I didn't change my name when I got married.

There are many reasons: I was in my 30s by the time I walked down the aisle. I owned my home and car and other things outright, and changing my name on all of those legal documents would have been a huge hassle. I already had established my career, with a reputation and bylines and even a book -- I'd been writing and editing under my "own" name for half my life at that point, and in print journalism, where your clips are your currency, changing my name would have been akin to starting over from scratch.

But, most of all, I kept my name because it was my name -- replacing it with my husband's made me feel like I was faking it, somehow.

When we were filling out the application for our marriage license in our tiny town hall in liberal Massachusetts, I teased my husband, telling him, "This is your last chance to keep your name, you know." The sweet, older lady behind the counter looked like she might keel over from shock, and I felt like I had written "brazen hussy" in the "name after marriage" spot on the application.

About 90 percent of women take their husband's name when they marry, and that's more than before, according to a Harvard University study -- in spite of the fact that the societal trends that led to women keeping their names in the past (delayed marriage, higher levels of education, and increased presence in the workforce) are the same.

So, why the increase? As working women, do we feel that taking our husbands' name is a way to underscore our femininity? A way to bond with our mates? Or a way to highlight our link to our family histories -- or to our children and our futures?

I did briefly -- very briefly -- consider changing my name for the sake of our oldest three kids, who are my stepchildren. Would they think that I was trying to avoid a connection to them by not sharing their last name? Would it add a new level of awkwardness to the dance that all step parents have to do when it comes to explaining how we're related to the kids we're raising? What would we do when we had more kids?

I kept my name anyway. I don't correct friends or family members who refer to me by my husband's last name, which is also the last name of all of our children. My husband kept his name, too. But I still think it's hilarious whenever telemarketers call and ask for "Mr. Alphonse."

Did you keep your name when you married? Why or why not?

Lylah is a full-time editor, a freelance writer, and mom and step mom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day on Work It, Mom!, where she is also the Managing Editor, and she blogs about writing at Write. Edit. Repeat.