Wig + Gown + Big Shiny Black Cars = Law, Right? Err...Think Again!

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit

I wish i could say that my reason for studying law was to fight injustice, or to educate people about their rights, or that it had been mylife-long dream. Unfortunately, my decision was made after a whole weekend of Legally Blonde, reruns of Boston Legal and 2 'Fs' in chemistry and physics. Ater i mistakenly sipped on hydrochloric acid, mistaking it for a base and then set my lab partner's coat on fire, everybody thought it best that i find a different calling. 'Learned' became my favorite word in a matter of days and i couldn't wait to be the Elle Woods of my class.....that is, until i actually got to class.
Why don't they tell you at orientation what to expect as a law student? They leave you to your own clueless awe, which is further fueled by the jargon they speak. it took me a week to realise that my failure to understand legal maxims was because they were in another language, not due to some conspiracy theorists hijacking the English dictionary.
Don't even get me started on the black and white dress regulations. Ok, so at first i thought it was pretty cool and it made me stand out in a crowd of students. That was until i discovered that you couldn't move five steps without encountering some form of dirt; and that friends had a fetish for hugging (with not so clean hands). Hate would be an understatement of how i feel each time i have to bleach those whites, so they stay that way.
I loved watching lawyers in their wigs and gowns...they looked so regal! Apparently, just a fraction of lawyers look 'hot shot' when they dress. A good quantity of them always look like their clothes have just come out of a briefcase. Faded gowns that flap about their legs like bat wings and wigs that just remind me of cotton before it is processed. GAG! Imagine my horror when i found out that the shiny black cars do not come for a while. You see, Nigeria is a country where it's unheard of to buy a car on credit. Thus, you have to work pretty hard for a long time before you can get this. For some people, that could be ten, or even twenty years. Now, i'm not scared of hard work; it's just that i'd rather slave for the shiny black car doing something that really charges me up, you know?
No,i don't intend to rant all day long abot my many grievances with the law. This is just my way of passing across a message that you should weigh all your options very carefully before you do something and don't be afraid to acknowledge your mistake....instead of getting way more than you bargained for. If you don't....well it's your kettle of fish, right?