Working women wear the pants in their families, survey finds

Who is in charge in your household? The typical American home has seen a major change since the 1950s and 1960s, researchers say, with the majority of the important decisions now being made by women.

According to a new poll released in September by the Pew Research Center, 43 percent of respondents said that the woman makes the decisions in more of four key areas -- household finances, weekend activities, big purchases for the home, and who controls the TV remote -- than men. The guys have the upper hand in about 26 percent of all couples, and 31 percent said that they split decision-making responsibilities -- even though that answer wasn't one of the options given in the poll.

Pants for everyone!

But here's the real news, buried in the poll results: In dual-income couples, it is the woman who has more say, regardless of whether she earns more or less than her partner.

So, while money doesn't necessarily equal power in most American households, working does. According to the survey: "Two-thirds of all husbands in dual-income families say they make more money than their wives, and wives generally concur in this assessment." But that doesn't mean they're calling the shots. "By a ratio of better than two-to-one, women make most of the household decisions (46 percent vs. 19 percent) in couples in which the woman earns more than the man," the survey found. "Among couples in which the man earns more than his female partner, women still are more likely to make the decisions in more areas, but by a narrower margin (42 percent vs. 30 percent)."

The rise in shared decision-making is great, but I think the fact that working women seem to have more clout at home is where we're really making strides. (Honestly -- what is that remote control question doing in there? Is it really as important as who has a bigger say in allocating the household finances or making major purchases? And don't the majority of households have more TV sets than people anyway? So, who cares who has the clicker.)

In fact, when you focus on finances alone, the numbers aren't quite so laudable -- or maybe it's a matter of perspective. "By a ratio of nearly two-to-one, women say that they (45 percent) rather than their partner (23 percent) manage the money in the household," Pew reported. But, the report also said, "Men see things differently. Some 37 percent say they manage the money, while just 30 percent report that their partner mostly handles the household finances."

While some are calling the results "women gaining ground" and "women win the day at home," I think most of us know the truth: We don't really care who controls the remote, as long as we know who rules the roost.

Who controls the finances in your household? Do you make big family decisions jointly with your spouse?

Lylah M. Alphonse is a full-time editor, a freelance writer, and mom and step mom to five kids. She writes about juggling career and parenthood at The 36-Hour Day on Work It, Mom!, and blogs about writing at Write. Edit. Repeat.