Beauty Guru: The micro-pixie my way

Clippers in the hands of a DIYer can be disasterous

I was rummaging in the vanity for mousse to tame my "Cousin It" looking mane, when my hand brushed against a box. I pulled it out of the drawer to see what it was. It was a box of clippers. Not just any clippers but "Home Stylist Clippers".

I was home, looking in the bathroom mirror, and I needed some styling. I had a Beauty Guru post due on hair. I didn't want to spend money on my hair. I wanted new light fixtures for my kitchen remodel.

At that moment, it seemed as if the powers of the cosmos had aligned and provided me with a single solution to the dilemmas I was facing. I snapped that plastic #8 guide on those clippers quicker than you can say, "DON'T!"

I had no fear or concerns. I had given plenty of high and tights to the guys in my unit when I was in the Army. I knew how to cut hair, I rationalized as I used clips to secure the hair on my crown to the top of my head. I ran the clippers up from the nape of my neck to the boney ridge on the back of my skull and around the sides. Satisfied with the length and look of the sides, I removed the clips holding my bangs and crown hair. Now if I had turned off the clippers, or maybe not had them so close to my head, perhaps disaster could have been diverted.

When my hair unwound and flopped onto those clippers, I gave new meaning to feathering. There was a 3 inch strip on the top of my head that looked like the downy feathers on a baby chicken. After I looked at my feathered head, I immediately looked at the clock to see if there was the possibility I could make it to Regis before closing. I couldn't. So I put the longest guide on my home stylist clippers and buzzed the rest of my head.

Normally Beauty Gurus provide with step-by-step instructions so you can achieve the same results. I will give them to you and then caution the be-jesus out of you to "Do Not Do What I have Done."

Take one part stupid, mix with one part cheap, add clippers and you, too, can have a micro-mini pixie. (Or the worst looking hair cut on the planet.)

Have you ever cut your own hair? Did it turn out okay, great, horrid? Will you do it again?