Beauty: My Quest to Love Me Naturally Without Makeup

Sometimes I feel like female beauty routines make it impossible to be spontaneous. I was not raised to feel like makeup was important. But media does make me feel like women are "supposed" to wear makeup and men are able to just look natural. My current occupation also makes me feel like I am supposed to wear makeup in order to make my clients feel like I take care of myself so they will want to come back to our salon. I do like to wear makeup on my eyes, I feel like it is an art form for my face. But when it comes to being able to just get up and go I feel like if I am "expected" to be wearing makeup then I can't just go somewhere fresh faced. That I have to put on the primer, eye shadow, eye liner and mascara just to leave the house. Taking off all this is not easy either. I have to use a special makeup remover first then I have to wash my whole face to take of the rest and then I have to use more makeup remover because more eyeliner and mascara bleeds out of my lashes. In the summer wearing makeup feels like a burden in the hot weather. The makeup never stays put. It slides, it creases and you spend all day wiping under your eyes and feeling like you wasted your time putting it on in the first place. Recently I have started dating a new guy after being single for awhile. We started a sexual relationship and this involves spending the night. If I don't know that I'll be spending the night then I don't have all the stuff I need to take off and/or put makeup back on. The amount of supplies I would need to bring with me would be just plain ridiculous. He asked me to jump in the shower with him and I turned him down. Partly because of my makeup, It would bleed and make me look awful and without my remover wouldn't really be able to fully take it off. Sleeping with makeup on is always a gamble. It may come off and smudge all over your face. Or sometimes it will stay miraculously in place. If worrying about makeup wasn't enough then there is hair. I have had my hair cut in a very short, almost pixie style for a year now and for day to day wear I really prefer it long hair. But waking up in the morning I always look like I've been break dancing in my sleep. So not sexy when waking up next to a guy you are really attracted to. If I decided to style my hair based solely on this factor I would just keep my hair long so I could pull it back in a ponytail whenever required. But I would always have it in a hair tie if it was long. It gets in my way at work and at home. My hair is the other reason I turned down a very awesome shower with a man that I am totally attracted to. My short hair would have looked terrible after and I would have been self conscious about it.

I feel pressure to always look good. For the guy I am dating, for my customers at work, for my co-workers and for myself. I've grown so used to my own appearance wearing dark eye makeup that even I think I look better with it then without. But I'd like for the world to know me without it so that they can find me attractive for what I really look like instead of just my enhanced appearance. Not saying that I won't wear any makeup or that I won't wear it for special occasions but I'd like to try and start wearing less at work and with this new guy. I want especially to be interested in me naturally and not some lie I put on for the world. I've been slowly wearing less eyeshadow and I will attempt to wear less or no eyeliner, just mascara and see how that goes. This is a big deal because my clients who come to my salon are always commenting on my eyes and eye makeup so this is not something that will go unnoticed. I assume they won't give me negative comments but if I get fewer comments then I will certainly notice a difference.

This is a project for myself to work on my self-confidence. To be secure in my natural state so that I don't feel like I "need" to put makeup on. I am not saying that wearing makeup is a bad thing. I think makeup is beautiful and a wonderful expression. I just want to work on my perception of myself so that I when I want to wear it I won't feel like I am hiding behind it.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to wear makeup and be spontaneous as well?

Does anyone have tips on feeling confident with your natural self?