Blog Posts by Andrea Frazer, Good Housekeeping

  • When It's Time To Say Goodbye, You Gotta Go

    Dear Readers:

    It's with a heavy heart that I'm telling you that this will be my last blog post.

    But with my departure comes a new beginning - my own site!

    Please feel free to visit me over at Life Happins where I will continue to write three days a week about sex and marriage.

    No one said separation would be easy, and it isn't. I got used to my routine, my readers and my deadlines. It's like moving from my familiar and cozy Good Housekeeping home to a funky virtual condo. Sure, I'll have all the fixtures of my original dwelling, but there will be some creaks and groans along the way. And I'm really not sure about how to hang up pictures yet, so be patient.

    When one goes from cooking for a million people to firing up the burners in a new kitchen, it can be daunting. But I'm ready. I hope you'll join me for encouragement, love, and some laughs.

    My contact info will be

    Beginning February 1 st , you can also follow me on Facebook.

    Read More »from When It's Time To Say Goodbye, You Gotta Go
  • The Science of Single: Finding Love in the Dating Scene

    It's Monday night. I'm still feeling low from a bout of bronchitis. After telling Rex about my upcoming plans for yoga, volunteering twice in my son's class, a Friday night party and more than a few carpooling excursions with the kids, he sweetly and subtly whispered, "ARE YOU CRAZY????! CANCEL IT ALL !"

    He's right, of course. I need to back down. It's all too much. I'm so drained from this Mack Truck of a chest infection, I could honestly sleep for days. But if you're like me, sometimes you won't pull the plug. It takes someone who knows you better than you know yourself to give you a kick in the booty.

    Nights like tonight make me glad to be married. I hated dating... all that unknown territory... all the questions and wonderment. I know that some people see it as exciting, but I always saw it as one more night spent with someone who'll I'll likely never see again.

    Was singlehood really that bad? Maybe I just looked at it all wrong. In The Science of Single, author

    Read More »from The Science of Single: Finding Love in the Dating Scene
  • How To Handle A Sick Spouse

    If you're like me, you're going to have to deal with a sick spouse at some point in your life. I'm talking down for the count, ill. As I type, that would describe me. I'm exhausted, tired and can barely walk without feeling like I have to sit back down again. Rather than figure Rex can read my mind, I told him exactly what I needed from him.

    1. Don't expect a fancy dinner.

    2. Please put the kids to bed for me. (Or at the very least direct traffic to the tooth washing/pee/pajama station until they are ready to read with their pathetic mama.

    3. Stay on me about going to the doctor if this doesn't go away by Wednesday.

    4. Gently remind me to back out of my oh-so-important engagements.

    5. Bring me some chocolate, flowers and a big cup of decaf.

    That last one? I didn't really ask for that. But it sure would encourage me to put him to bed when I'm finally out of mine. Wink wink.

    Keeping the posts short this week. Here's to antibiotics working and fabulous

    Read More »from How To Handle A Sick Spouse
  • 5 Ways to Talk So Your Husband Hears You

    Ever spend five minutes talking to your husband only to find out he's completely tuned you out? Pretty frustrating, right?

    I can't tell you how many nights I would fume at Rex pouring through bills when all I wanted to do was have some adult contact after ten hours straight with two toddlers. It's not like I wanted to discuss the year's most anticipated book reads, one woman's transformation from atheist to Catholic, or the pros and cons of a gluten free/dairy free in treating ADHD.

    Well, actually could discuss all those things to no end, but not the first ten minutes. I could have waited at least eleven for those. But some conversation? Yeah! I had limits to how much my friends could fulfill me. I wanted the handsome and intelligent man I married to connect with me! Maybe you're the same?

    And yet, put yourself in your man's shoes. If he's just gotten home from a stressed out day in the office, chances are he isn't ready to absorb ten ways from Tuesday how the baby is

    Read More »from 5 Ways to Talk So Your Husband Hears You
  • The Upside of Nagging

    Contrary to a popular stereotype about women nagging men to death, the opposite is true in my union. "The heat's on! Shut the door!" Rex is prone to needling. "Turn off the lights!" and "Shut the fridge" are other common phrases.

    His constant "do this" and "do that" used to irritate to me to no end. But lately, not so much. I have two simple reasons for this:

    1. I've actually started listening. That ends the nagging. It's a miracle! After looking at our electric and heating bills, it simply didn't make cents (pun intended) for me to ignore such obvious cost savers. It might not be sexy to walk through the house with a tank top on in fifty degree weather, but as long as he still likes what's under my bulky old sweater, who cares! Besides, the savings gives us plenty of opportunity to grab a nice restaurant meal out. I can save the cute outfit for someone else's heating bill!

    2. Rex has really gone above and beyond to accommodate what makes me happiest: Having people

    Read More »from The Upside of Nagging
  • What's Your Marriage Roadmap?

    starcraftEver feel like you or your husband is not on the same page about anything? I used to. While I'd want to pursue a gluten free diet for my son (and I did) my husband thought it was a waste of time. When Rex wanted to invest a lot of our earnings in retirement, I wanted to upgrade our home. If Rex's idea of fun was a day spent pruning our own garden, I'd want to go to lunch at the Huntington Gardens and check out artwork. (Not that my son and daughter's handiwork pictured above isn't brilliant. Ahemm....)

    Rex and I had a real breakthrough at the end of last year when we realized that we were looking at our marriage from the wrong angle. Instead of fighting about our differences, we embraced them. My easy going nature forced him to grow in the social department. His stick-to-it-ness personality nudged me toward more financial responsibility. Lo and behold, we both learned from the other and gained a new found respect for each other. It's also inspired me to get off my duff and

    Read More »from What's Your Marriage Roadmap?
  • 5 Marriage Vows Everyone Should Make in 2011

    I was inspired by The Stir's 5 New Year's Resolutions in this post. Rather than setting hard core goals of "lose weight or else", the article instead uses the more soothing words, "Resolve instead to."

    I can't help but think how many people would be happier with their marriages if they took this approach. After all, there really are no black and white solutions when it comes to personal relationships. The best we can do is set some realistic expectations. It doesn't mean we shouldn't strive for amazing passion and happiness, but truthfully, who has that 100% of the time? In thinking that we must have this or our relationships are doomed, we're setting ourselves up to fail long before January 2 is over.

    The Stir writes, "Instead, break things down. You can still have lofty goals, but make your resolutions concrete changes that are possible to stick with throughout the year."

    Ahhhh. That sounds do-able. Here are five ideas I have for my union. Yours will likely be

    Read More »from 5 Marriage Vows Everyone Should Make in 2011
  • In Sickness And In Health: Basal Cell Carcinoma

    Last year I discovered a weird mark on my chest. I went to the dermatologist and lo and behold, I was told I had a basal cell carcinoma form of skin cancer. They would have to perform an in-house surgery to remove it.

    I suppose I should have been frightened, but I wasn't. I'd had moles burned off before. Why should this one be any different?

    The extraction went smoothly, but they didn't get it all out. I'd have to go back for some initial digging. "It's nothing to freak out about," the doctor reassured me. "You won't die from this kind of skin cancer, so relax" Taking his word on it, I didn't panic.

    Cut to one year later, and new health insurance, I finally sent the pathology report to a new dermatologist who sliced a bit further into my chest and took out the cancer. Or so I thought.

    "We didn't quite remove everything," the nurse said over the phone, one week before Christmas. "You'll have to come back for another procedure. How does December 28 work for you?"

    Read More »from In Sickness And In Health: Basal Cell Carcinoma
  • Three Reasons To Love Your Spouse's Hobby

    If your spouse's favorite hobby involves eyes that wander more than a stray dog on a highway, gambling on LeAnne Rimes lasting more than ten years with Eddie Cibrian, or staring at naked women with the obsessiveness of Degas peeping at ballerinas, perhaps you're not a fan of your mate's extracurricular activities.

    But if you have a spouse like mine who likes to create LED cube fixtures... one row by another... in perfect seven by seven precision just to "light up something really cool"... well, it's kind of hard to complain.

    I mean, you could moan about it. It really isn't as sexy as some of the photos I see of celebrities in People Magazine. (Which leads me back to Eddie and LeAnne. And truly, I'm happy for them. I hope it works!)

    As for my union, however, all I can say is that Rex is just as sexy as Eddie, but his quirky hobby is a bit on the geeky side - not to mention dangerous. All it would take is one time for me to sit on a left behind smoldering soldering

    Read More »from Three Reasons To Love Your Spouse's Hobby
  • Beam Me Up, Rex! Teleportation and Tight Jeans

    I am not sure what to get my tech husband for Christmas this year. After all, he has enough electronic gizmos to open up a mini Fry's on our cull de sac. He doesn't eat much and he doesn't drink much either. While this might sound like the description of a self-contained houseplant, let me assure you that my husband is indeed very real... he's just not needy.

    But I still want to get him something nice.

    And so... I've opted for something practical and sexy. Something economic, yet pricey enough to show that I care. I am going to splurge for... are you ready for this... a pair of 34x34 501 button fly jeans!

    I have my reasons:

    1. He doesn't have many pants. Out of 3 pairs, two he uses for yard work.

    2. He looks damn sexy in his Levis if I do say so myself.

    3. The third pair of jeans he has are pink. You know... because washing them with a bright red new tee shirt wasn't my most brilliant move on the planet.

    * Note: If I were truly a spectacular wife I would

    Read More »from Beam Me Up, Rex! Teleportation and Tight Jeans


(422 Stories)