Blog Posts by Bobbi Palmer

  • How to Show Yourself Some Love...So He Can Too

    It's time for you to hear something that I hope you're willing to admit: the only thing your super-singleness or past failed relationships have in common is YOU.

    Here's what I finally learned: We look for the little things to nitpick about men to avoid making grownup decisions and to refrain from looking at a big, giant, hard truth: Your single status is not men's fault!

    We can be our own worst enemy when it comes to finding true happiness in the romance department. (I know I certainly was for literally decades.) What on Earth are we doing that's making us look for love in all the wrong places or ultimately just give up all together?

    Here are three things to make sure you're NOT doing as you're out in the world looking for that man who's going to float your romantic boat...forever:

    Hiding who you truly are.

    I meet women all the time who show up on dates as an edited version of themselves. She's the "super-listener" who lets guys drone on. Or maybe she's like I was, the

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  • Midlife Sex: A Reality Check

    Can I make a few assumptions? If you're reading this you are most likely a woman over 40, single and looking. You are probably dating, or hoping to. You are either nearing menopause, in menopause or post-menopausal.

    Taken together, here's what that tells me: You are facing the prospect of having new sexual partners. After all, you have hopes of falling in love, which means you will want to consummate your relationship by making love with your man.

    The thought of that might excite the hell out you, or scare the crap out of you. Could go either way.
    You may have never thought you'd be dating, romancing and making love with new men at this stage in your life. And doing it while your body is changing, sweating and certainly not responding to anything the way it used to…now that's just a delightful surprise, right?

    What? Not too delighted by this?

    Well…if this is your story, you are not alone. You are much like hundreds of women I support as I guide them toward bringing lasting love

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  • Have Fun Flirting: 4 Ways to Flirt with Class

    Bobbi Palmer of Date Like A Grownup shares that if you want to attract men, you have to put yourself out there--and that means flirting! No matter your age, the way to connect with a man in the "I think you're hot and would be interested in going out with you" way is to flirt.

    When I suggest that to the over-40 single women in my dating workshops and coaching programs, I can see them cringe. Most of these otherwise outgoing women have no idea how to flirt with men, nor do they want to. They consider it quite childish, bordering on classless.

    I have news for you: Here is what you get when you don't flirt with nice men: a nice conversation. That's it. But you're not looking for a buddy, right? When you meet a man you're attracted to you want to be seen as a W-o-m-a-n! You want to be seen as someone he will consider asking out.

    Here are four ways to flirt with flair and class...and get that date, and the next:

    1. Compliment him.

    Have you ever noticed that we use compliments to connect with other women? "I love your purse!" "Your job sounds amazing!" "You crack me up!"

    Why don't you do that with men? Granted, it takes

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  • [Video] How to Ask and Answer the Question: Where is This Relationship Going??

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    You've been seeing him for a little while. It's somewhat regular. You think he could be The One. But you have no idea what he's thinking. Is he into you? Is he looking for a wife or a lifetime commitment? You REALLY want to ask but you know you shouldn't...or should you?

    And what about if he asks YOU and you're not ready to answer? What do you do then?

    In this video I give you the exact words to use to ask and answer this question in a grownup way that generates honest, productive conversation. Let me know your thoughts! Would this have helped you in the past or is it something you can use with the man you're currently seeing?


  • One Surprising Way Men Help Us While Hurting Us

    It's your fear of rejection that is getting you rejected. ~~ Bobbi Palmer

    I know…I write about rejection a lot: how to recognize when it is and isn't real; how there's no such thing as rejection when you're meeting guys using online dating; and how to learn from it, recover and move on to the next guy who will be better for you. (Yes! There WILL be a next guy!)

    When we say rejection hurts, it really does HURT.

    Kirsten Weir, an award-winning science writer, writes this in an article for the American Psychological Association: "As researchers have dug deeper into the roots of rejection, they've found surprising evidence that the pain of being excluded is not so different from the pain of physical injury."

    Ouch.

    Every day I get emails, comments on my blog and questions from my coaching clients about how to avoid feeling crappy about a guy not calling, disappearing or saying "no thank you."

    Today I'm answering such an email. I recently received this asking me to dig a

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  • [Video] What to Do when it Doesn’t Work Out

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    I had a disappointment today. I blew an opportunity to do well at something that was super important to me. I was struggling to find a way to fix it…to make it right. So I thought: What would I tell another sister to do in this situation? I came up with the answer that worked for me, and I moved on.

    I thought you might relate. Maybe you think you blew it with a new guy or you think your time for love has passed. Maybe you are in a relationship that isn't working out and you're staying because you think it's your last opportunity.

    My hope is that my process - what I learned and applied in this situation - helps you get past your disappointments when you need to. This is a part of life, and it's all about how you work through it. Giving up on our important dreams is not an option.

    PS: I got pictures this week from two women who received their engagement rings this weekend. Both are around 50 and have never (yet) been married. Both had major

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  • [Video] Dating New Men: How to Tell Him the Scary Stuff

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    Ungrateful children. Mortgage that's killin' you. Surgical scars. Chronic health problems…these are all realities of life after 40. Let's face it: we've been around a while. We have "stuff!"

    When you're dating it's important to share it at the right time in the right way. Say it wrong or tell him too early or too late, and you may scare away a good man.

    Here are my tips to help you share your baggage in an easy way that's honest, direct AND sets you up to get the best result. (And, hey, that could be him leaving, and that would be ok!) Tell me your challenges and I'm glad to help. What experiences have you had with sharing YOUR stuff?

    And, hey….have you registered for my monthly webcasts? They are 100% free and you don't have to be a technology expert to participate. This is FREE LIVE COACHING. girlfriend. I can't figure out why you wouldn't sign up. Do it here.


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  • [Video] How Do I Get Myself to Think Nice Guys Are Hot?

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    Last weekend was my live event in Los Angeles: Mastering the Art of Magnetizing Men. During this two-day event I gave women tons of advice and step-by-step tips to help them attract quality men so they could finally meet their loving lifetime partner.

    If you're familiar with my teaching and writing, you know that I frequently talk about "the good guys." These are the only men we at Date Like a Grownup care about. You should always try to meet these guys, especially if you're dating after 40!

    As I taught during the event, the good guys are the men who Show Up, Step Up and Grow Up. You don't have to ask yourself "why didn't he call?" because he calls. You don't have to ask "is he in to me? because he shows you loud and clear. If you're not looking to meet men like this; you're not going to find a partner who can really make you feel safe and adored…even for a month. (And forget forever.)

    One of the questions asked was something like this: How do I get

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  • How to Magnetize the Men You Like: Top Tips [Video]

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    Since you all can't all attend my upcoming Live Event "The Art of Magnetizing Men", I wanted to share my #1 Top Tip for being a midlife man magnet. Then I figured: why not invite my two guest experts to share theirs! Let me know your thoughts!

    (Note: The Early Bird pricing for "The Art of Magnetizing Men" end Friday May 10! You'll save over $100 for goodness sake.


  • How to Say “No” (Whether You like Him or Not) [Video]

    To Watch Video Click Here

    What do you do when a man asks you out and you aren't interested? Are you worried about hurting his feelings? I get this question quite frequently because, after all, we want to please men, right?

    Here are my simple tips for how to say "no" to a guy you don't want to see again (don't worry…he can take it) AND how to say no to a guy you DO want to see….but he's just doing something that kinda bugs you. (You might be surprised at what I'm telling you!)

    If you want to learn more simple shifts that really Rock Your World, join me for my upcoming LIVE EVENT Memorial weekend! In just two days you will STOP being stumped about:

    • Why Men Don't Ask You Out
    • Why You're Constantly Stuck in the Friend Zone
    • Why You're Not Getting Second Dates…

    …because you will learn exactly How To Use The Loveliness You Already Have to Turn Heads and Get Great Dates…again and again!
    Click here to learn more and register.
    Seats are filling up and right now you can save

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