Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

  • 10 Great Gifts for Mother's Day

    burberry_421
    Flowers are okay. But moms like other stuff too: soft stuff, scented stuff, stress-relieving stuff, sexy stuff. So let's try to think outside the vase. Below are some great sensual gifts (for any budget) that she'll really appreciate as a living, breathing human being (not a "domestic goddess"). Whatever you do, don't get her another Edible Arrangement!



    fizzybathballs_210
    1. "Relax Me" Fizzy Bath Balls $4 each
    These individually wrapped balls turn a bath into a bubbly cocktail of aromas and soothing salts. A calming mixture of luscious oils, baking soda, and intoxicating fragrance, Relax Me is the perfect ending to Mom's extra-long day (and they're all extra-long). Choose from English Lavender, Pear Vanilla, Pomegranate Mint, or Morning Dew. They're body-safe and animal-product free, contain natural ingredients, and are made in the USA.



    sleepingmask_210
    2. Soft Sleeping Mask $9
    Help Mom get a better night's rest with soft and comfortable mask. The elastic band allows for a snug fit without putting undue

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  • Top 10 Relationship Tips from the IRS

    tax daytax day


    We've taken this year's Top 10 Tax Time Tips from the IRS and tweaked them for your dating life (the original document is at the bottom of this post). Because sex is valuable, and money is pretty sexy. Plus, the IRS likes to refer to itself in the third person, just like we do!

    • Gather your records. Collect all the evidence from your previous relationships. This includes photos, love letters, and sex toys. Store them in a safe place, one that any new partners will never, ever find.

    • Report your health status. You will need to report your sexual health status from all of your previous relationships when you start a new relationship. This includes the results from the last time you got checked for STIs, if ever. Remember, April isn't only tax time, it's National STI Awareness Month.

    • Get answers. Use your best communication tools to get answers from a new partner about income, future goals, sexual health, bathroom habits, and family baggage.

    • Weigh your dating options.

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  • Your Love Life Horoscopes: 04-14-14

    Grand Central CeilingGrand Central Ceiling


    Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes - ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)


    You will meet people in the strangest places and through the most unlikely situations. So don't be startled if you fall in love at first sight at the DMV, you feel that spark at the dump, or you get that little tingle at the funeral home. No matter how inappropriate it may seem, make sure you get the digits.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)


    There's a fine line between roleplaying and asking your partner to be someone they're not. Don't cross it.

    gemini (May 21st-June 21st)


    This is a much better week to charm the pants off someone figuratively than it is to take them off literally. Restraint should be a value for you this week, not something you use to tie a hottie to the bedpost.

    cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)


    Not to freak you out or

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  • What Does it Mean when You and Your Boyfriend Have Matching Nightmares After a Fight?

    Nightmare


    Other people's dreams are never interesting…except when they're about sex. Each week, EMandLO.com dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

    My boyfriend and I had been arguing all night. Sometime around 4 am, going on 5, we both had a nightmare and addressed each other about it around 8 in the morning. We weren't in the same place, he was home and I was home. I find it so ironic how we had the same dream (when we weren't even around each other) let alone more ironic how we woke up at the same time. His dream was that he got jumped. My dream was that these kids he had altercations with were outside my house begging him to come out & pulled out guns but the cops came. Is this symbolizing it's gonna come true? I'm scared, I'm thinking about visiting a fortune teller. Please help!


    Lauri: Oh for goodness sake, save

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  • Is “I Love You, But…” Always a Dealbreaker?

    Oh no he didn't!Dear Em & Lo,

    What do I do when a guy says he loves me, but he won't commit to being my boyfriend? Does he really love me?

    - Miss Interpreted

    Dear M.I.,

    Here's your short answer: Run away! No, he doesn't really love you!

    Here's your long answer: Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! Run away! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you! No, he doesn't really love you!

    Okay, seriously, we can think of maybe a handful of reasons why somebody may really actually honestly love you but be unable to commit to being your boyfriend:

    1. He's already taken. In which case, like, we said: Run away!

    2. He loves you like a sister. In which case: Run away! Because you'll never get out

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  • Top 6 Worst Kind of Kisses

    Please don't let it be in his kiss!Violet Blue is one of the most prolific sex writers we know - we've literally lost count of how many books she's written - and yet she's not the slightest bit annoying, so we can't hate her for this. The latest in her grand oeuvre - we're pretty sure she's going to tip the scales into a full-on genre soon - is called Kissing: A Field Guide. It will tell you everything you need to know about smooshing face, from timing to style to tension and technique.

    In this excerpt, Violet details the six most hazardous kinds of kisses you might encounter in the field:

    1. The Fish Tank Kiss:


    Every girl's nightmare. He's totally cute, funny, the conversation is good-but then you kiss and it feels like he's trying to clean the inside of your mouth as if it was a fish tank. As the minutes pass more slowly than you ever thought possible, you wonder if he's actually looking for treasure. His tongue is too hard, and it darts about quickly and all pokey. You are usually too stunned to decide

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  • Your Love Life Horoscopes: 4-07-2014

    Grand Central ceiling


    Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes - ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)


    Whoever you're currently with is going to hate us for this one (you yourself may even be a little bummed), but we recommend having the"Let's just be friends" conversation with you-know-who. Hey, that's just the way the cookie crumbles when you realize that what you want and what you've got are two different things. If you wait, you could very well be on the receiving end of a conversation like this.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)


    This week is going to kick tushy for Tauruses (Tauri?) everywhere! Maybe you'll meet the man or woman or your dreams! Maybe you'll win the lottery! Maybe you'll hit inbox zero! Maybe you'll just feel so irrationally cheerful that you'll use exclamation points all day!

    gemini (May 21st-June 21st)


    You're

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  • Did the Ghost of My Husband Visit Me in My Dreams?

    ghost windowghost window

    Other people's dreams are never interesting…except when they're about love or sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty and/or romantic dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:

    I dreamed that my first husband, who passed away in 2007, was lying next to me, holding me from the back, whispering something into my ear. I was trying to turn around because I didn't know who it was. I'm currently divorced from my second husband as of last September. When I turned around and saw his face, he smiled, but I knew that he was gone and started crying and woke up. Once I woke up I really cried like a little baby. What did this dream mean? I haven't dreamed about him in a long time, and that situation threw me off. What do you think?

    lauri_loewenberg_100Lauri: Aw, I am so sorry for your loss. I know this dream was difficult. I hope I can bring some comfort and clarity

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  • What Does it Mean when You and Your Boyfriend Both Dream that You Cheated?

    Oops, I did it again!Other people's dreams are never interesting…except when they're about sex. Each week, our dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri:



    What does it mean if I dream I cheated on my boyfriend and he had the same dream too, that I cheated on him?



    Lauri: You've got two very excellent questions that a lot of people wonder about: the cheating dream and having the same dream as someone else.

    Let's start with the latter. When you have the same dream as someone else on the same or close to the same night, it's because you are both dealing with the same waking life issue and your subconscious minds respond to it in a similar manner by giving you similar dreams.

    Next: You both had a dream of you cheating. This is a big clue as to what the waking life issue is that you two are dealing with. I'll assume that you're a good

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  • Bi-Curious George: The Best of #RuinAChildrensBook

    Bi-Curious GeorgeThis week's most fun hashtag trending on Twitter was #RuinAChildrensBook. Given that we each have two small kids and we've been writing about sex for fifteen years - often between diaper changes and school runs - this hashtag was practically made for us. Here are our favorite ruined book titles that we posted to Twitter this week:

    1. Harry Potter and the Red Room of Pain #RuinAChildrensBook


    - Em & Lo (@emandlo) March 25, 2014

    2. The Poky Little Penis #RuinAChildrensBook


    - Em & Lo (@emandlo) March 25, 2014

    3. Pierre's Penis Pump: A Cautionary Tale in Five Chapters and a Prologue #RuinAChildrensBook


    - Em & Lo (@emandlo) March 25, 2014

    4. Pat "The Bunny" #RuinAChildrensBook


    - Em & Lo (@emandlo) March 25, 2014

    5. Bi-Curious George #RuinAChildrensBook


    - Em & Lo (@emandlo) March 25, 2014

    6. The Very Hungry Caterpillar Who Only Had a Teaspoon of Cottage Cheese All Day and Still Feels Guilty #RuinAChildrensBook


    - Em & Lo (@emandlo) March 25, 2014

    7.

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