Blog Posts by MJ Acharya

  • All of your Speed Dating Questions Answered.

    All of your speed dating questions answered.Speed Dating Exposed

    Speed dating. Two words that spark a ton of questions:

    • How much does it cost?
    • What kind of people go to these events?
    • What kind of girl does speed dating?
    • What kind of guy does speed dating?
    • How desperate do I seem if I go to an event?
    • What if I hate it?
    • What if nobody picks me?

    I've always wanted to do it. I've never tried it. I'm a breakup recovery expert, so really, what business do I have trying to help people date? I did, however, get the chance to host an event in Boston the other night (for a friend who was ill) and I wanted to share my observations with you. Hopefully some of these observations will help you decide whether or not speed dating is for you.


    Speed dating can cost anywhere from $10 to $50, depending on whether cocktails and appetizers are included. Generally if you do not meet a match, you will receive a coupon for a free event in the future - so you're not wasting your money simply by trying it

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  • User Post: Do These Help-Wanted Ads Exclude the Unemployed?

    Most of you know me as the "" writer, but recently I became more involved in advocating for the Unemployed. As a freelance writer, I spend countless hours looking through want-ads to find gigs for myself, and more than a few times I have come across language like, "Currently Employed Only, regardless for reason of Unemployment." And frankly, ads like this - even though they don't even apply to me - have incensed me. I think it's unfair that, say, if you've been laid off for 2 weeks and you want to apply for a position within a company that would be perfect for you, you're automatically excluded.

    So, I started with the hopes that I could run a job-search website where the Unemployed could job-search without boundaries. I set up all kinds of filters, but yesterday, one Twitter-er who follows @ReEmployAmerica called me out for an ad from Iron Mountain. Here's the language he was upset about:

    "The ideal applicant will have current exp. in

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  • Study: Twitter Users Experience Shorter Relationships On Average

    It's no joke that online activities have contributed to the demise of many relationships over the past decade. In fact, lawyers say that Facebook activities contribute to nearly 20% of divorce cases. And I get that: Facebook makes it easy to catch up with past loves, correspond privately with fans without giving away your personal email (if you're famous) and generally surf around for trouble. Basically, if temptation were a buffet, then on Facebook, it's all-you-can-eat.

    But it doesn't end with Facebook.

    More recently, a survey released by OKCupid, finds that daily Twitter users have shorter romantic relationships than non-Twitter users (or those who do not Tweet as often). As an active Twitter user with a crap love life, the findings of this "study" made me curious.

    According to OKCupid's study, tallying responses from 833,987 OKCupid users, the average relationship for an 18-year-old who actively uses Twitter lasts about nine months. The average romantic

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  • 5 Ways to Find a Date Before Valentine's Day

    You've just finished spending the holidays alone and now Valentine's Day is sneaking up on you. It's almost not fair. Sure, spending time with your girlfriends on Valentine's Day can be satisfying, but perhaps you would secretly prefer to spend the evening with a member of the opposite sex? Here are five proactive things you can do to increase the chance that cupid's arrow will pierce your heart before Valentine's Day:

    Volunteer - If you have the time, volunteering can be a great way to meet someone kind, giving and selfless. If you don't want to get dirty raking leaves or picking up trash, you can use your education to mentor teenagers, to promote literacy or to organize charity events. Even if you don't meet someone, volunteering is a great way to network, make new friends and, of course, help your community.

    Join your College Alumni Association - Even if you move to another city or another state after graduation, your college more than likely has an alumni group in your

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  • Why Didn't I Just Listen To My Gut?

    "I knew this would happen!"

    Have you ever said that to yourself after a relationship has ended? I have. You have a gut feeling about someone and you still decide to ignore it anyway and let yourself go down the road toward the inevitable firestorm that's going to occur. And when everything blows up in your face, you second-guess every move you have ever made in regards to this relationship. Then, you wonder why you allowed it to happen in the first place.

    "Why didn't I see this coming?"

    It's not fair to blame yourself for not trusting your gut. Sometimes gut feelings are wrong, albeit rarely, and it's okay to want to trust the person you're dating; because without trust, a relationship can never blossom. If you set yourself up for failure from the get-go, then you're not doing yourself any favors. In fact, you may be sabotaging what could be a wonderful experience.

    "Why didn't I just ask?"

    But it's when you see something that is clearly wrong and you choose to

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  • Resolve to Get Over Your Ex in 2011

    The New Year brings along with it many new resolutions, like losing weight, eating more healthily, getting to work on time, etc. And as scores of you know, many New Year's resolutions revolve around a vow to move on from "the ex." And some people fail. But why? Because thinking about getting over your ex and actually deciding to get over your ex are two very different animals.

    It's a choice! Your choice!

    Just as you choose to make the decision to lose weight, to eat better and to leave earlier for work, you can choose to make the decision to get over your ex. This means that even if you've done the crying, the journaling, the talking and all the work possible to get over your breakup, if you haven't made the decision to get over your ex, then you won't get over him/her. That's the plain, simple truth.

    So now it's time for you to DECIDE, or RESOLVE to truly move on.

    Think about it: losing weight is a choice, bettering your job performance is a choice. You work hard at

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  • When Enough is Enough.

    Are you in a relationship with someone you really care about, but at the same time, you find yourself feeling miserable, experiencing only fleeting moments of happiness? Somehow you know it's wrong, but you love him so much that you want to keep trying until you get it right. Perhaps you break up and get back together often. Perhaps you are trying to "stick it out" until he changes. Whatever it is, when the person you love makes you miserable, there's a genuine problem.

    Whether your partner is unhappy, unemotional or unavailable, these emotions have a way of rubbing off on the people around them. This means you. Ask yourself these questions:

    · Are you generally depressed, whereas before this relationship you were generally happy?

    · Do you find yourself acting out in order to grab your partner's attention?

    · Do you feel like your happiness depends on your partner's happiness?

    · Have you often thought about leaving, but just haven't gotten up the nerve?


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  • User Post: Learning to let go...and yes, I know it's hard!

    As women, we tend to really weigh the pros and cons of every single decision we make - whether it's choosing to spend money on those leather boots on Newbury Street, or deciding whether or not you should eat a salad or a burger for lunch. But when it comes to relationships, we really do tend to over-think every decision we make, no matter how mundane: "Should I have told him that I don't like it when he walks 5 paces ahead of me? Is he annoyed that I asked him to call me more? Can I tell him that I want him to try harder to get along with my mother?" It's as if we worry more about the other person than ourselves and our happiness.

    But sometimes in life, you do have to make decisions that are in your best interest - meaning, you can't care what the other person thinks or how they feel - you just have to do what is right for you. And doing that, my friends, is really tough.

    Sometimes you have to make the hard decision to break up. And then you have to make the hard decision to

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  • Think Hard Before You Cheat!

    Everyone knows that there is no excuse for cheating; you either try to fix the relationship if you harbor thoughts of infidelity, or you leave the relationship and then date someone else. It's so easy. Yet people stray and then force their partner into a make-or-break decision should the cheating party get caught or admit their mistake. And whether or not the loyal partner decides to leave the relationship, the loyal partner is suddenly confronted with feelings of doubt, self-esteem issues, feelings of betrayal and trust issues that may have never existed before.

    Good job cheater!!

    Basically, if you cheat on your partner, you are destroying much more than your relationship. You are damaging that person's ego, causing them to re-think all of their choices (in the past and the future) and making it downright impossible to openly trust future romantic partners. When you cheat on your partner, you are effectively - and probably mindlessly - destroying your partner's spirit.

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  • How to Break Up With Someone Over The Phone

    I don't advocate breaking up over the phone if you've been with for someone more than a few months. However, there are situations in which you date someone, it starts to go badly and at least one party loses interest. If the other party does not realize that they have lost your interest, they may end up calling, texting, and emailing to find out what they did wrong, or to try to make plans, etc., Chances are that you have either avoided all of these messages, or have half-heartedly responded to some saying that "You're very busy with work."

    So instead of being a jerk and allowing this poor person to wallow in misery, whether or not they deserve it, you should put yourself in this person's shoes. Chances are you've already been there. So what are you waiting for? Pick up the phone and break up with him. Here's how:

    Gather your Thoughts: Write down your reasons for the breakup. Is she boring? Lazy? Too interested in Dungeons & Dragons? Has he been caught in a lie recently?

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