Blog Posts by Thiddle

  • Happy Birthday -- Yes, You! -- from Angie

    At the supermarket yesterday I handed the cashier a blank check and said, "$25 over, please."

    You don't have to fill out your check at our supermarket. You just give them the blank and the machine fills it out.

    If you want to make the check for over the amount and get some cash back, you just tell the cashier.

    It was a busy day. She and one other cashier watched over ten or 12 customer checkouts.

    I watched her hand as it went into the till, first drawing a $20 bill and then a $5 bill.

    Her attention was divided and she did not notice.

    "It's not my birthday, but I thank you even so," I told her.

    This stopped her in her tracks. Was she about to hand me too much money?

    "You said $25 over," she said, looking at the two bills in her hand. By this time the other cashier was paying attention.

    "I did say that," I said, "but that's not what I mean."

    I pointed to the $20 bill, still in her hand, and said, "I mean that."

    She looked at the bill and had to laugh.

    "What is it?" the other

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  • How lust can sink you

    Having been in battle and away from female warmth for untold nights, young soldiers staying in an abandoned house on a canal are captivated to see three women walking on the opposite side. But neither speaks the other's language and they must communicate primitively. Desperate for a rendezvous, one soldier goes into the house and emerges with a loaf of bread, holding it aloft. The women are enticed; there is almost no food available in this time of war. Realizing the persuasive power of their meager rations on the hungry women, another soldier, swimming in the canal, has a bright but dangerous idea. As Erich Maria Remarque writes in "All Quiet on the Western Front," said by some to be the greatest war novel ever, "Leer nearly drowns trying to demonstrate a sausage."

  • Fragile Crystal

    A buyer was said to have bid hundreds of dollars for boxes marked "FRAGILE / CRYSTAL" from an unclaimed storage unit, according to a recent story on Chicago Public Radio's "This American Life." The contents turned out to be "garbage" once owned by someone named Crystal.