Blog Posts by Tina Tessina

  • Dr. Romance Video: On Spreading Kindness

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    Kindness is the lubrication for life, love and relationships. When you spread kindness, it comes back in many ways, and it's the foundation of happiness. "Dr. Romance" shows how kindness works and why it's important to learn to live kindly, even in today's cynical age.

    Dr. Romance on spreading kindness

    Spreading kindness is the best way I know to be happy. If you want to spread kindness around, here are some ideas:

    *Kindness begins on the inside - learn to be as kind in tal

    *Send letters, e-mails, notes and cards expressing kind words to your friends, kids or spouse and family, even when you live together or nearby. Getting uplifting messages will inspire anyone's day.

    *When you know someone who is ill, bereaved, down or needs help, get together with other friends and work together to get them what they need: whether it's a meal, some company, or errands run.

    *So many of us are lost about how to help a friend in times

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  • Dear Dr. Romance: I Don't Want to Leave Without Saying Goodbye

    Dear Dr. Romance,

    I have developed feelings for my co-worker and during the past several months, we have had very brief encounters that were limited to greetings. Due to the small work place, I could not go and talk comfortably to him without eliciting attentions/rumors.

    I will be leaving my job at the end of this week to start grad school and really want to talk to him for the last time. I just want to say goodbye and say if he ever wants to keep in touch he can contact me. I was thinking about leaving a note on his car but I am not sure whether it's appropriate.

    Would you please please help me with this dilemma? I really don't want to leave without saying goodbye.

    Dear Reader:

    Your leaving is the perfect opportunity to give this connection a chance. He's unmarried, right? However, I don't think a note on his car is a good idea. Do you know his phone extension at work? If you do, call and (if he doesn't answer) leave him a message, identify yourself so he'll

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  • Dr. Romance Video: Guidelines for Relating with Love


    Click here to view the video.

    A good marriage can be the most precious thing in your life, and bring you lasting comfort and joy. There's nothing better than a long-lasting, solid, loving relationship you can count on. Dr. Romance shows you how to open up the love and joy in your relationship, and be irresistible to each other.

    Dr. Romance's Guidelines for Relating with Love (six things to remember):

    1. It's not about who's right or wrong it's about solving the problem together. If you try to win the argument, you'll lose something more important -- loving feelings.

    2. With listening, caring and the willingness to change, anything in your relationship can be fixed. There's no need to be afraid -- just turn up the love.

    3. It's a partnership, silly! Stop struggling, and learn to work together. Focus on teamwork andsharing.

    4. Behavior that enhances relationships with people at work, and with your friends, will probably work if you use it with your spouse. Seek

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  • Dear Dr. Romance: I Feel like We Have to Sneak Around and Hide

    Dear Dr. Romance:

    I am in a relationship with a man who twenty years younger. He is black, and I am white. We are very much in love. The problem is that my parents are very much against my dating a black man. They do not like the age difference either, but the being black is worse. This is causing a problem in our relationship because I am putting up a wall between us because of my parents. I know how old I am and that I should not let my parents rule my life, but I am very close to my parents and my family.

    I have 3 brothers. All of them are also against me being with a black man. I have a son, so all I want for him is to be happy, and he wants me to be happy. I wish my parents felt the same way about me.

    I am so happy and in love with this man. I feel like we have to sneak around and hide because of my parents. I feel like a teenager who is going to get caught. Should I tell them that I have continued to date this man, even though they have forbidden it? I feel like I

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  • Dear Dr. Romance: How Do I Make Him Understand?

    Dear Dr. Romance:

    How do I make him understand? So my soon-to-be-ex is still in the house as well as myself! This is not working! He keeps trying to make things better, but I don't feel anything for him anymore. He has been better to me but is still very rude to our son and says hurtful things to him! He also says rude things about teammates on my sons ball team and doesn't think he is being rude and doesn't care if other people hear what he says! I can no longer deal with this! I'm tired of feeling bad about myself and I'm ready to have a life for me ! Now how do I make him understand it is over with out feeling bad when his tears start fallen? He says he don't want to lose me but we have had these problems for several years and he never changes and I just want to be happy and only worry about my sons and my feelings and work on being happy once again!

    Dear Reader:

    This is what I wish more women understood about their men. You can't just say he's doing it wrong, you

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  • Dr. Romance Happiness Tip: Your Inner Mentor Can Create New Meaning

    Dr. Romance writes:

    Sooner or later all of us question the meaning of life. The sooner we get to it, the better chance we have of finding a satisfactory answer.

    As a therapist I watch many of my clients pass through stages of personal growth. Once they work through the issues that have held them back, they often begin to ask..."What now?" -- which prompts a desire to search for meaning. "It isn't until you come to a spiritual understanding of who you are," said Oprah Winfrey, "not necessarily a religious feeling, but deep down, the spirit within - that you can begin to take control,"

    Searching for the meaning of one's life is a discovery process, a learning experience, and a creative event. By reviewing the kind of person you are and the abilities that come naturally to you -- even if they got you into trouble in the past -- you can gain insight into your life purpose.

    I have developed a series of questions to help my clients identify their personal qualities,

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  • Dear Dr. Romance: Overwhelmed to the Point I Want Out

    Dear Dr. Romance:

    I read some of the things you stated about marriage and why people divorce. I am feeling overwhelmed lately to the point I just want out. I have been married for over 17 years. We have 2 school-age children together. I am in school full time and work full time and still have a household to run. Can you please help me find a counselor? You are a blessing to all who reads and speak with you. Keep doing your daily work. God Bless.

    Dear Reader:

    I'm sorry you're having a tough time, and I understand how overwhelmed you must be. I don't know anyone in your area, but "Guidelines for Finding and Using Therapy Wisely" will help you find a good therapist. Therapy is a great idea for you at this time. In the meantime, "Couples Can Cooperate for Success" and "Asking for What you Want" will help you calm down and understand what you need to do.

    I'm sure your husband loves you, but doesn't know what you want, and is probably lost in his own little world. You can

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  • Dear Dr Romance: My Girlfriend Doesn't like Phone Sex

    Dear Dr. Romance:

    My girlfriend does not like phone sex. When ever I bring up the topic, she is always mad at me. I don't know; maybe it's the way her ex treated her. Please help.

    Dear Reader:

    You can't have phone sex with your girl if she doesn't like it, and you can't force her to like it. Instead, you have to make it attractive to her. So, turn on your charm and find out how she feels about it instead of just trying to talk her into it. If it is about the way her ex treated her, you need to listen to her and let her tell you about it. "Getting to Yes" helps you understand how to talk to her about phone sex and sex in general. The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again will show you how to develop a mutually satisfying relationship. Money, Sex and Kids: Stop Fighting about the Three Things That Can Ruin Your Marriage gives you scripts and guidelines for talking about sex in a productive way.

    UnofficialDatingUnofficialDating MoneySexKids galley coverMoneySexKids galley cover



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  • Dr. Romance Video: On Dating in the Workplace

    To view the video, click here.

    Work can be the ideal environment for falling in love: you are in close proximity for a long period of time, you may have developed a good working partnership, and from there it is a short step to romance. However, workplace romance can present big problems. Dr. Romance helps you figure out the right and wrong ways to do it.

    Dr. Romance on Dating in the Workplace

    The problem of dating co-workers is what happens when the relationship doesn't work out. Still, many people find themselves attracted to people at work -- it's actually an environment that's similar to the college environment, which is the easiest place to date.

    Research shows that the workplace is where the majority of couples meet. There's a reason for this: Unlike online dating, newspaper ads, singles events and speed dating, the office gives you a chance to actually get to know and even bond with a person before declaring your interest.

    The reason so many people date in

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  • Dear Dr. Romance: I Believe He's a Good Man at Heart

    Dr. Romance shares 3 tips for letting go of the pain of divorce.

    Dear Dr. Romance:

    My husband left to be with a much younger women. The problem became obvious in our marriage three years ago. I thought It would be something we would surpass.

    I was confused and did not act until one Friday night he did not come home to sleep. He came back that Saturday night and my kids were so happy to see him that I did not ask him to leave that night. Monday morning I finally got the courage and confronted him. He told me that this girl was taking care of him like I used to do when we were dating. He said he was panning to leave and he was just making sure I could take care of things myself.

    He came back twice and I thought he wanted to work things out, but he only stayed for a week each time. It has been 10 months since he last left. Somebody has left beheaded doves, chickens, women's underwear (when he was still at home) and other spells on my yard. I know he is a grown man who is able to have a will of his own, but all these things confuse me

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