Blog Posts by MJ Acharya

  • Face-to-Face Breakup: An Example of Courage

    Okay kids, if you are worried about breaking up with your ex face-to-face, then read this article (I wrote it) for inspiration. If she can do it AT A JAILHOUSE, surrounded by Paparazzi, then you can certainly pick up the phone and call your ex and tell him it's over. No more emails. No more text messages!

    (AP Photo)
    It appears that after months of reflection, Philip Markoff's fiancé has elected to kick him to the curb.

    Markoff, the alleged "Craigslist Killer" was accused and arrested in April, 2009 on suspicion of killing a masseuse he met on Craigslist. Megan McAllister, Markoff's fiancé, visited him at the Nashua Street Jail in Boston with her attorney and mother in tow on June 11 th . She was not wearing her engagement ring.

    Her lawyer, Robert Honecker said in a statement, "McAllister told Markoff
    she was going to medical school and said it would be "a long period of time, if ever, that she would see him again."

    When the charges were first brought to light at the end
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  • Jon & Kate Separation: Due to Jon's Midlife Crisis?

    I just finished watching the "big announcement" episode of Jon & Kate Plus 8. Everyone knows by now that the two of them are getting a divorce. People say it's because Kate is a shrew. Others say it's because fame has proven too much for the couple. I'm sure it's a combination of both, however, I also think that Jon is exhibiting the classic signs of a midlife crisis.

    In the past months, Jon has purchased a Harley, changed his wardrobe (lots of trendy, expensive, Ed Harley clothing) and allegedly found a 23-year-old mistress. He also skipped Kate's 34th birthday to see the Annual Pond Skimming Race in Park City, UT with his alleged mistress - Deanna Hummel.

    "Jon is only 32, but with 8 children, a hit television show and more, he may feel as if his youth has passed before his eyes," says Susan Chandly, a Boston-based psychotherapist. "He may be striving to get some of that time back."

    The piece of information that sparked me to write this article is that Jon has been

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  • What To Do When He Tells You He "Needs Space."

    Relationships can be like rollercoasters. They slowly rise and then fall at terrifying speeds. And sometimes they even go off track. When this happens, there can be many outcomes - you break up forever and eventually meet someone else, you go to counseling and work on the relationship, or you take time apart to figure out what your future looks like. The last option often results in the dreaded, "I need space" conversation.

    If you're living under a rock and don't know what I mean, I'll explain...Sometimes when a guy (or girl) is thinking about breaking up with a woman (or man) he'll sit her down (or worse, text her) and say something akin to, "I adore you and I love you, but I'm not sure if this relationship is headed in the right direction…so I need space to figure out what I want."

    That statement is confusing enough as it is. And if it comes out of left field, the initial reaction of the injured party may be one of desperation: "What can I do to get him/her to want to be

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  • Eminem Vs. Bruno's Butt at the MTV Movie Awards

    In case you haven't heard by now, some crazy stuff went on at the MTV Movie Awards last night. Of course, we expect it - it's MTV. But things went a little too far when Sacha Baron Cohen, the guy behind Borat, presented an award, flying over the audience as his new character "Bruno." (The award was for Best Male Performance, which went to Zack Effron. Upon receiving his award, he accepted with, "This is weird..." ). Flying over the audience with wings attached to him, he eventually landed on Eminem's shoulders, wearing nothing but a jock strap. Basically, his butt was directly in Eminem's face. Check out the picture to see what I mean.

    When it initally happened, Eminem just said, "Are you kidding me?" Then his entourage tried to get the comedian off Eminem, who in turn stormed out of the auditorium.

    I have read that Eminem was "in" on the joke with Bruno. However, I have heard that he did not know that Sacha Baron Cohen was going to wear nothing but a jock strap.

    I thought this was

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  • Divorce Rates Decrease During Times of Economic Crisis

    Although it is not a proven statistic, sources show that most divorce lawyers indicate an increase in business toward the end of the summer - meaning more people breakup at the end of the summer than any other time of year. The good news? It turns out that during an economic downturn the number of divorces diminish.

    By an almost two-to-one margin, respondents to a recent survey of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) report that they typically see a decline in the number of divorces during national economic downturns rather than an increase.

    "For many spouses, the divorce process involves a great deal of long-term planning and waiting for better economic times is often just another element of the overall process," said Gary Nickelson, president of the AAML. "Many individuals tend to employ a wait-and-see strategy during a troubled marriage and are very well prepared when it comes time to file for divorce. A sudden drop in net worth can effectively postpone this

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  • 12 Ways to Keep Up With "No Contact" After a Breakup.

    Given the first comment on here...I'm not sure the guy read the post all the way through, but it's actually an excerpt from a book I wrote. The book is aimed at people who are completely distraught after getting dumped by a guy and can't seem to get over it and keep calling and texting, even though they know they shouldn't and regret that they did it afterward.

    A lot of breakup books stress that you should immediately and completely have no contact with your ex while you endeavor to recover from the breakup. And we, too, subscribe to that theory - with a caveat. We advise you to avoid your ex for at least the first two weeks after the big "B" day (breakup day). Then, after you've been successful, we suggest that you speak with him for the sole purpose of seeking closure. After that, you can continue on your journey to recovery. I know what you're thinking: "Well, we said that we're going to be friends. I shouldn't avoid him. This, therefore, doesn't apply to me."

    Sure. You're going

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  • User post: How Long Should You Keep Up With No Contact?

    People often ask me: How long should I go with No Contact with my ex? And I have thought long and hard about what this question means. It's a loaded question and from my experience with counseling people, I have found that there are several different meanings:

    1. How long should I go with No Contact with my ex before he/she realizes he/she wants me back? In this instance, the No Contact post-breakup rule is a ploy to manipulate the ex to get him/her to fall in love with them again. I think this stems from all of those books and websites that claim that you can win your ex back. What I say to that is - good luck. I can't tell you how to get your ex back. I don't subscribe to manipulation or games of any kind. Either way, manipulating anyone is a bad idea. So be careful if you go this route.
    2. How long should I go with No Contact with my ex before we can be friends again? Another loaded question, but I do think that if the intention is good - meaning you're not trying to
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  • Should You Give Them a Second Chance?

    Everyone sees themselves as kind, sweet and forgiving. And why not? These are virtues we are all supposed to live up to. But when push comes to shove, it can be really difficult to give someone the benefit of the doubt - especially when you're hurt in a relationship.

    So when you're hurt the first time, you probably at least consider forgiving the person who hurt you and try to mend the relationship and move forward. It's great. Let's hold hands. Kum Ba Ya.

    But when hapens when the person does the same awful thing again? Sucker!

    Should you let go and move on? Or should you try yet again, knowing that this person may not change? Bet it all or cash out?

    After living and learning a little bit, I've used these criteria when choosing to forgive someone yet a 3rd time:

    1) How badly did the situation hurt me?
    2) What actions (if any) can I take in the future to avoid this situation?
    3) What do my friends and family think? (Maybe I'm blowing it out of

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  • User post: Avoiding "Mr. Big Syndrome"

    One of my favorite television series is "Sex and the City." I think it has empowered women to speak up about their sexuality. And I believe that women have been able to identify with the characters and begin to understand that all women go through break ups…even the most successful and beautiful women.

    I question the ending of the show because although it was a romantic ending and it's what everyone wanted for "Carrie Bradshaw," it conjured up unreasonable expectations. In real life, Candace Bushnell did not end up with "Mr. Big." She married a Russian ballet dancer.

    I point this out because there's something going on in my generation. I'll call it the "Mr. Big" syndrome. It seems that more and more women are holding out hope that their ex-boyfriends will realize that they are "the one." Lovelorn women cling on desperately to the belief that their "Mr. Big" will come back to them. Marry them. And change.

    These women have identified so much with Carrie Bradshaw's

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  • What's the best breakup advice you've ever received?

    Hello Shine!

    For all of you that know me, I am a breakup expert, the author of The Breakup Workbook, the founder of and I started an advice blog at . Anyway, I am compiling a new article about breakups and I figured I'd ask the community for your valuable contributions.

    What's the best breakup advice you've ever received?

    Thanks for any responses. : )


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