Blog Posts by Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen

  • When You Want Your Old Life Back - 3 Tips for Moving Forward

    Sometimes all you want is your old life back.Sometimes all you want is your old life back.What do you do when your new life has begun, but you want your old life back? These tips for moving forward are inspired by a reader's comment on my blog...

    "I was married for 12 years and pregnant with my second child when my husband cheated on me," says J. on 7 Signs Your Marriage is Over. "He left me for this woman. I divorced him and a year later met someone else. We are now married and I love him dearly. The problem is I long for my old life and marriage. I cry a lot and feel like I maybe got into my new relationship too quick. I don't feel I will ever get over what happened to me."

    I'm almost finished reading The Happiness Project: Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun by Gretchen Rubin. It's a groovy book about being happy with your life while making changes that improve your life even more. It's definitely worth a read, especially if you're focused on the past, what you don't have, and

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  • How Do You Stop Feeling Jealous About His Ex?

    Do you get jealous when your boyfriend or husband sees his ex-girlfriend or ex-wife?

    A reader - let's call her Amanda - asked for help with her boyfriend. He sees his ex-girlfriend regularly, and talks to her a couple times a day.

    Actually, I don't think it's jealousy on Amanda's part...it's her boyfriend being stupid. Why does he need to talk to his ex every day? They don't have kids together - and he's been with Alex for over a year now.

    Amanda asked her question on my article, How to Stop Obsessing About Your Ex and Get on With Your Life. I think her boyfriend is obsessed with his prior girlfriend, and can't let her go. She's meeting some need that he has.

    What advice would you give Amanda? I think her boyfriend is the one who needs advice - he needs to focus on his current girlfriend, not his past one. He know how much it hurts Amanda when he talks to his ex, yet he does it anyway. Jerk.

    I wrote this article for Amanda: How to Cope With Jealousy When Your Boyfriend Sees His

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  • How Your Childhood and Personality Affects Your Finances

    Do you enjoy your money - and the things it brings? I don't.

    I grew up with a single mom and no money -- we were on welfare, and often went to the food bank for groceries.

    Now I'm 41 years old, and I have enough money to relax and enjoy life. We have big mortgage payments, but can afford to make them and still take a nice vacation once a year.

    But I still hold on to every penny with both fists! I can't even buy a mochachino without weighing the pros and cons. Do I really need this coffee? It costs $5 - is it worth it?? I can make a coffee at home for a quarter of the price!

    Am I the only one who hates to spend money? Whose poor childhood still affects her relationship with money? I can't be...so I wrote Tips for Enjoying Your Money for Penny Pinchers and Savers.

    I think we need to find the balance between enjoying our money and the things it brings, spending responsibly, and saving wisely. Some months we may over-spend (Christmas! Thanksgiving! Even Halloween can be expensive) --

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  • Are You a Pushover at Work - or in Your Relationship?

    Do you say "yes" to your coworkers, boyfriend or husband - and regret it? Do you do things you know you'll regret later, like accepting extra work assignments or lending money to a guy you've dated for a only few weeks?

    If so, you're not alone.

    On my article Why Couples Break Up - 10 Types of Relationship Problems, a reader asked for help standing up to her boyfriend. He keeps borrowing money from her, and gets mad when she says she doesn't want to lend more. He's gambling her money away, and she feels powerless and helpless.

    To help her, I wrote How to Say No to Your Boyfriend. I don't think one of my tips was "Dump that loser!" -- but it should've been. I did say that not being a pushover makes people mad...so she has to build the mental courage to stand up to him even when he doesn't like it.

    Standing up for yourself often makes people uncomfortable - and sometimes even furious. I'm a bit of a pushover, but am finding that the more I stand up for myself, the easier it gets. I

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  • Did You Get Pregnant the First Time You Had Sex?

    It takes most couples a year (on average) to get pregnant - but there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason for why it takes different women different amounts of time!

    My most popular article on Couples Coping With Infertility is Why Can't I Get Pregnant? It lists four different "fertility checklists", to help couples identify the source of the problem (low sperm, irregular periods, etc).

    I write so many articles on infertility and fertility treatments; I'd love to write one on how long it takes the "average" woman to get pregnant! Is it really a year of trying, or is that just a medical myth that keeps getting passed around?

    So...how long did it take you to get pregnant - and do you have any tips for getting pregnant?

    If you're trying to conceive a little peanut, you may find 5 Baby Making Tips helpful.

    And if you think it's taking way too long, read How to Know When You Need to Find a Fertility Doctor.

    Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen a full-time writer and blogger; she created the

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  • How Do You Know If He's The One?

    copyright torley flickrcopyright torley flickrI knew my husband was "the one" the first time we hung out together. We were just friends, but he was definitely the marrying kind: responsible, caring, loving, and kind.

    But I wasn't ready to get married, so we stayed friends for 15 years. He moved in with another woman, I moved to Africa for 3 years, and we lost touch. When I moved back to Canada, I called him up and presto! We got married a few months later. (His relationship with the other woman had ended - but not because of me!).

    How do you know when a guy is "the one" for you? I wrote an article about finding a man - The Best Way to Find a Boyfriend - Look Inward First - but I haven't written anything on knowing if he's right for you.

    Here are a couple ways to know if he's the "to have and hold" type...

    Listen to your gut instincts. You know when things just don't feel right in a relationship. If he doesn't respect or love you, you'll know it. You may ignore bad behavior because you really want to be in a relationship, but

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  • What Do You Do When Your Family Doesn't Pay You Back?

    If you've ever loaned a few hundred bucks to a relative who refused to pay you back, I'd love to hear from you!

    What would you tell a guy whose wife keeps loaning her 34 year old son (Jack, his stepson) money that never gets paid back?

    "Jack grew up without a dad," says G. on Should You Lend Money to Family Members?. "I'm married to his mom who is the sweetest person. Jack doesn't have a good grasp on handling money. I loaned him $3500 four years ago to get his car engine rebuilt (an import car, I might add). In four years, he has paid me back $500."

    Worse, his wife refuses to tell him how much money she's lending -- and Jack keeps spending his money on basketball tickets and frivolous junk.

    I think the wife is a big part of the problem. She sounds like a nice lady and a mom who cares deeply about her son, but she's enabling him. She keeps giving him money, and doesn't hold him accountable.

    Here's the article I wrote for G, to help deal with his stepson: When Your Stepson Won't

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  • A Cheating Husband Needs Advice

    "How do I save our marriage after cheating on my wife online?" asks Sammy, who describes how he cheated on his wife in Emotional Cheating - How Innocent Friendships Cause Problems. "I love my wife and kids so much. I just made the biggest mistake of my life."

    He didn't realize he was emotionally cheating and betraying his wife. She found out (as wives always do), and is devastated. She blames herself, and doesn't know how to get past it.

    And he doesn't know how to help her.

    I offered a few tips in How to Make Things Right After an Internet Affair -- but I'm curious what you think!

    I always said that I'd leave my husband the SECOND I found out he cheated, but now...sometimes I think I'd forgive and try to save our marriage, instead of just walking away.

    What would you tell Sammy about saving his marriage after cheating?

    Laurie Pawlik-Kienlen a full-time writer and blogger; she created the "Quips and Tips" blogs:

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  • What Your Hair Says About You

    "Hair is often an excellent predictor of someone's self-image and lifestyle," writes Jo-Ellan Dimitrius in Reading People: How to Understand People and Predict Their Behavior - Anyplace, Anytime.

    However, she also says: "Because so many hairstyles are acceptable on women, most stylistic deviations don't indicate much about a woman's personality. Extremes of length, volume, style, and color are the most telling aspects of a woman's hair."


    Is your hair is long, short, styled, or colored? You may be revealing more about your personality than you realize...

    Short Hair

    Short hair that is carefully cut and styled may reveal an artistic personality. Most high-maintenance hairstyles indicate financial well-being; short hair that requires regular cuts and dyes may reveal that the woman cares about her appearance, and is willing to spend a significant amount of money to look good.

    "Spending a significant percentage of one's income on hair - or any other aspect of personal appearance - suggests

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  • Have You Created Something That Is a Great Gift - and Do You Sell It?

    If you created something that would make a great gift, here's your chance to promote it for free on my gift giving blog, Quips and Tips for Giving Gifts!

    How will you promote, describe, advertise your product? By writing an article about it for my gift giving blog.

    The idea behind Quips and Tips for Giving Gifts is to help readers buy the right gifts for the right people - gifts that will be appreciated and valued! After all, what feels better than knowing you gave the best gift ever?

    Here's how it works -- check out this sample article by Sydney Thomas, who wrote a book that is a fantastic gift for people who knit:

    Knitters Gift Ideas From the Author of Soulful Knitting

    Sydney starts the article by describing her book, and ends with another "plug." In between are other knitting products, to help readers choose the best gift.

    You're the expert on the product you created, right? Here's your chance to show your expertise, get online exposure, and link from my site

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