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  • Your Call: How Can He Find Women Who Are Hot and Smart?

    Tina Fey, San Diego Comic Con, 2010We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call on the letter below by leaving your advice in the comments section.
    Dear Em & Lo,

    About five months ago I broke up with my girlfriend of two years and have met someone new. The other day the new girl and I were talking about various things, ideas, etc., which led me to discover that this new girl is significantly dumber (like really stupid) compared to my previous girlfriend. My problem is that I'm really worried about having a relationship with her, because my ex was extremely intelligent. I go to a top school, I have a high IQ, and I value intelligence. I like to make fun of dumb girls. I feel really disappointed (since the new girl is hot, like a 9 or a 10, which I also value) and I know that my ex set a really high standard. Am I bad person for only liking girls who are extremely smart?

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  • Wise Guys: What's the Best Costume You've Ever Seen a Woman Wear?

    Advice from three of's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What's the best Halloween costume you've ever seen a woman wear?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Straight Single Guy (Chris): I once saw a nerdy Lisa Loeb-looking girl dressed in a full R2-D2 costume. It was elaborately constructed, included a drink holder, a bench to sit down, electronic beeping noises, and a glory hole. A GLORY HOLE. Absolutely amazingly nerd-sexy.

    Gay Single Guy (Angelo Nikolopoulos of The White Swallow): By far, little Edie (aka Edith Bouvier Beale from Grey Gardens), complete with a sweater-wig, gold brooch, and crazy eyes. Which is to say, no straight man will go near you. BUT: all the gays will lose it over you on 7th avenue (so recluse chic!).

    Straight Committed Guy (Johnny): Slutty Dorothy! On second thought, Slutty Native American! No, Slutty Tinkerbell! Actually, Slutty Zombie! Anything sexually provocative. Let your freak flag fly. Wear something you never

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  • Help Breast Cancer Awareness and Win a High-End Bedroom Toy!

    Lelo Pleasure Objects

    Want to take part in Breast Cancer Awareness Month and win a high-end Lelo pleasure object? (And yes, we realize that's like asking if you approve of both world peace and chocolate.) Well, here's a super-easy way to to do it: Between now and the end of October, if you do any of the things in the list below, you will be entered into a contest to win one of the following Lelo pleasure objects (you pick!): the Ina 2, Mona 2, Elise 2 (all pictured above), or something from the soon-to-be-announced November line of products. That's up to $169 in value! Here's what you've got to do - just doing any one of these things will enter you into the contest! And the more you do, the more you'll be entered, and the better your chances!

    • 1. BUY: Buy a LILY personal massager, in pink. When you do this, Lelo will donate 50% of the proceeds to! (Worth it even if there was no chance of a prize.)
    • 2. TWEET: Tweet or retweet the following: 50% of @Lelo_Sweden Pink Lily
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  • Can Vibrators Make You "Lose" Your Orgasm?

    Sad woman
    Dear Em & Lo,

    I'm having trouble reaching an orgasm while intimate with my partner. I'm 20 years old, I had a kid 8 months ago, and then became a single parent, so started using a vibrator. I now have a new partner and while having sex, I've found that no matter what I do, I can't reach an orgasm. But when I masturbate alone, usually I can - though sometimes it really takes a lot of work. Is there anything I can do to show him that he is pleasing me? Or even a way to reverse this and make my orgasms with humans and not toys come back?

    - Looking for the On-Off Switch

    Dear L.F.T.O.O.S,

    The most important thing to note is that you can climax without a vibrator when you're alone - so we know your orgasm hasn't gone into hiding like Salman Rushdie on the run. Sure, you have to work a little harder right now - but it's not like you need to "reverse" anything. Your body isn't broken, it's just changed.

    And we would guess this has as much to do with (a) having a kid,

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  • Can Long-Distance Relationships Ever Work? and for How Long?

    Vintage phone

    Each week, three of's guy friends share their advice. This week they answer the following: " Can long-distance relationships ever work? If so, how, and for how long? " Click here to ask the guys your own question.

    Single Straight Guy (Colin Adamo): Some people like the structured aspect of a relationship: getting off from work, heading home, cooking dinner, and talking to their sweetheart to find out what s/he did today. And this can all be achieved with distance. For some people, this isn't boring at all. It's like the missionary position of relationships - many of us would sigh at its boredom, but for some couples it really does the trick. If you need a few more metaphorical positions in your romantic interactions, this set up just isn't sustainable. If you know it's going to be less than a year or that you can commute back and forth every other weekend, you can probably bring enough energy to the relationship to make it last. Otherwise you might need to switch

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  • Deconstructing Olivia Wilde's Deep Thoughts About Her Nether Regions

    Olivia Wilde

    Olivia Wilde is one of those actresses we are completely familiar with (thanks Us Weekly!) without having a clue about her career. We're assuming she plays exotic queens in far off lands from long, long ago whose beauty knights kill for? And apparently she was in some TV show? Suffice it to say, she's no Meryl Streep-or Lena Dunham, for that matter. So we were surprised to hear that she dished some seriously deep thoughts about her vagina in a recent appearance. The event was "These Girls," a night of monologues hosted by Glamour magazine at Joe's Pub in New York City earlier this week. She told the audience (which included her current boyfriend, SNL's Jason Sudeikis) that when her previous marriage ended, "I felt like my vagina died. Turned off. Lights out. ... And you can lie to your relatives at Christmas dinner and tell them everything on the home front is just peachy. But you cannot lie to your vagina."

    In an interview with NY mag's Vulture after the show, she elaborated,

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  • Are My Rape Fantasies Normal...If I'm a Rape Survivor?

    Dear Em & Lo ,

    I'm not sure if I'm going to word this correctly, but here it goes. I'm 20 years old and am engaged to a wonderful man who has blessed me with a son. Before I met him I had a bad life and I had been raped 3 times. Lately during sex we have talked about what we could experiment with but rape fantasies are all I can think about. I've looked up on Google to see if anyone else has a similar question but no one has. I'm concerned that these "fantasies" aren't normal for a rape victim. I know studies show that women like to be dominated but for a rape victim it should be different. In your opinion, should I seek mental help? Or do you think this is normal for me?

    -- Confused & Conflicted

    Dear C.C.,

    First, let us start out by saying we are not professional therapists or medical professionals. But as writers on the topic of sexuality for the past 15 years, everything we've read and heard about rape fantasies -- or, as we prefer to call them, ravishment

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  • The Guardian Picks the Best 10 Sex Guides EVER

    In honor of the 40th anniversary of the Joy of Sex (1972), the Guardian's Observer just chose the top 10 best sex guides ever. A friend of ours on Facebook gave us a heads up about the list, saying they saved the best for last. Yes, we're honored to say our illustrated guide SEX: How to Everything is #10! And we feel so privileged to be included alongside the likes of The Kama Sutra, Ovid's The Art of Love and the late 60s classic Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). Here's what they had to say about why you should really check out SEX: How to Everything -- we couldn't agree more!: SEX: How to Everything: A sex guide for the Agent Provocateur generation, this handsome 2008 coffee-table volume was written by sex columnists Emma Taylor and Lorelei Sharkey and explicitly shot by A-list photographer Rankin. New Yorkers "Em & Lo" were described in this newspaper as "real-life Carrie Bradshaws, the Trinny and Susannah of blow jobs". Their unisex but especially

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  • How to Buy a Bedside Accessory (Without Buyer's Remorse)

    The Nea by Lelo meets all of the criteria below

    There are countless toys out there to choose from - unfortunately, not all of them will get you to your happy place effectively, or even safely. The sex toy industry is littered with manufacturers and distributors who are more interested in quantity than quality. Fortunately that's changing, as consumers become more educated and demanding. So keep these 7 important rules in mind when shopping for a battery-operated friend:

    1. Say no to novelties. A toy labeled "for novelty use only" means "don't actually use it on your body!" So unless you're just shopping for bachelorette party decorations, don't buy these "gag gifts."
    2. Avoid toys made of cheap jelly rubber: they often have a strong odor, feel sticky, and are impossible to clean thoroughly (because their pores can harbor bacteria). The odor is caused by an outseeping of gasses from plastic softeners called phthalates, which studies have shown to be bad for both the environment and your body.
    3. Choose
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  • Are Men Really Romantic or Do They Just Fake It?

    Teddy with flowers

    Advice from three of's guy friends
    . This week they answer the following: "Are most men romantics, or is romance something guys simply do to keep their partner happy?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): I think the majority of men are not inherently romantic. But, is it really that bad if they do it to keep their partner happy? If it's sincere, then it shouldn't matter if it's a core characteristic or not. Now, those of us who are romantic are going to be way better at it than those who aren't, because it's part of our personality, but that only means it's better for the woman we're romancing. Don't discount a guy just because he's not a romantic at heart. He's still doing it for you.

    Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): I don't think that most guys are romantics. It's not that we don't love our wife/girlfriend, it's just something we don't think about. I've always thought that things like flowers and jewelry are fluff. I think

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