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  • Will a Big Toy Make Your Boyfriend Seem Too Small?

    Elise 2 by LELODear Em & Lo,

    I want to buy a sex toy but I am concerned that the size will affect how I will have sex with my boyfriend. I know that the intimacy of sex will never be replaced, but I would rather not jeopardize the physical satisfaction I get from sex now. I have never been with anyone else. He is on the small side of the world average, and all the products I see seem to be much larger. I currently have one that I made sure was not so much bigger than my boyfriend, and I am looking for one with a different shape. If I get a larger one (which are the majority on the market) will I be more aware of the places that my boyfriend can't hit when we have sex?

    - Concerned Shopper

    Dear Concerned Shopper,

    You don't mention your boyfriend's feelings or ego at all, so we're assuming that you're using these toys in your free time, without him? But just in case you're using them with your boyfriend, too, here's a good rule of thumb: If he's just a bit below average, then he's

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  • Can Open Relationships Cure Jealousy?

    Does she like to watch?

    We've always said that if you want to be in an open relationship, it helps if you're the kind of advanced human being who is missing the jealousy gene. (Neither of us comes even remotely close, for the record.) It just seems like, if you're going to be cool with your one-and-only kissing someone else or going down on someone else, then the Green-Eyed Monster is an unwelcome guest at the sex party.

    So we were surprised to read a personal essay in the New York Timeslast weekend by a woman who claims that her open-ish relationship helps her husband handle his fears that she will cheat on him or leave him.

    It may seem eccentric that my husband has translated the common fear of being cheated on into enthusiasm for the idea, but he's not alone. Type "cuckold" into a pornography search engine and you'll be greeted with countless scenes in which people play out that exact fantasy.

    The writer, Ada Calhoun, explains how, of the two of them, she was the sexual adventurer

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  • 3 of Our Favorite Toys Are Now 100% More Powerful

    Lelo's new line of revamped toys

    Imagine if your partner was slacking in the bedroom and you could say to him, "Hey, I could really use about 100% more involvement from you?" And then imagine that he actually did it.

    Yeah, two advice ladies can dream. But lucky for us, toy companies -- at least, one toy company in particular -- is very... responsive, shall we say?

    just relaunched three of their greatest-hit pleasure objects, revamped according to customer demand. The most important change to the three toys - INA 2, MONA 2, and ELISE 2 - is that they are now 100% more powerful.

    No offense to lovers the world over - a toy can never replace you, of course - but we do love a toy company that listens to their customers and responds accordingly. (The toys' battery life had to be reduced from four hours to two in order to accommodate this extra boost - if your sessions typically last longer than four hours, then we suggest you buy two! Also, er, high-five?!) Oh, and all three toys are now fully

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  • In Defense of the "Woman-Child"

    Sarah Silverman

    I (Lo here) consider myself a pretty hardcore feminist. And I love So I expected their recent "Woman-Child" article to be just my kind of internet candy. My best guess about its focus? The media's obsession with infantalizing women to make them seem cuter, softer, more likeable. But it actually turned out to be one writer's poop parade on grown, successful women choosing to have fun, be lighthearted, dress up, and not take things so seriously. (I know by choosing the phrase "poop parade" I may only be proving her point, but I'm sticking with it.)

    The article talks about the female counterpart to the man-child: grown women who increasingly don't act their age. Now, far be it from me to get in the way of someone going to town on Katy Perry's lollipop-licking, Candyland-prancing, cherry-nippled persona -- hey, go to town! But in the process, the piece totally dismisses the benefits of being young at heart, of maintaining a childlike wonder about the world, of always

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  • Do All Men Lose Interest in Bed as a Relationship Progresses?

    Is Pacman better than sex after a while?

    Advice from three of our guy friends.This week they answer the following: "Do guys tend to want to have s3x less often as a relationship progresses? Is that normal, or is that a sign that a relationship is on the outs?"

    Straight Married Guy (Figleaf): It's generally not a sign that the relationship is on the outs. It can be asymptom of a relationship that's otherwise on the outs. But I think it's at least as likely for s3x to be the only thing that still "works" in a relationship that's otherwise long gone. (See also: "s3x, ex.")

    Yeah, I'm going to go a little further out on a limb and say that at least to the extent that men grow up conditioned to equate s3x with acceptance, a bit of "cooling" ardor might correspond with a warming of his heart and a growing sense of security with you.

    Or not. He could just have found someone new! He could be quite committed but taking your relationship a bit for granted! Or, especially in longer-term relationships, his lib1do might not be

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  • When Your Husband Won't Help You Climax

    Press here for an orgasm!

    We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

    Hi, I am 25 and been with my husband for 8 years and married for 1 1/2 (we also have a toddler). I have to say first that I enjoy/love pleasing him, I get off by seeing him pleased which I think is how it should be. I'm not a selfish person in bed for sure. But he is.

    He wants sex right away, no foreplay what so ever, and when he's done apparently we're both done. I have told him many times you need to be patient and get me ready for you at least! And he does for the next couple times, but then it just stops. He rarely goes down on me and it's so frustrating! I want to be touched everywhere and be caressed from head to toe, which I know is normal! But he doesn't touch me. I dont understand how he doesn't want to fully satisfy

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  • Top 10 Slogans to Inspire Kegeling

    Lelo's Luna Beads for pelvic floor healthIn an effort to promote pelvic-floor health -- an important key to sexual pleasure -- we recently held a contest over on to find the best t-shirt or bumper sticker slogans about Kegeling. We got a bunch of great, creative and funny responses. Below are the best ten, with MVP Mark Luczak winning a beautiful new set of Lelo Luna Beads, the number one best-selling Kegel accessory in the world three years running. (Or should we say, his new wife is the winner of the Luna Beads!)

    Mark Luczak
    The Old-School Headshot T-Shirt:
    Dr. Arnold Henry Kegel...At Your Cervix.

    The Acronym:

    K eep
    E xercising
    G enital muscles,
    E nhance
    L ovemaking!

    The Billy Madison:
    If Kegeling is cool, then I'm Miles Davis!

    The Olympic (also topical!):

    2012 Gold Medalist, 200m Freestyle Kegel

    The Periodic Table:
    [Picture the big square with "Kg" in it...]


    Ryan Butler
    Squeeze to please!

    Gerard Vand Kegels, the new

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  • Top 10 Sex Tips for First Year College Students

    dorm roomFor many young men and women, this week marks the start of a new chapter of life -- one of higher learning, critical thinking, problem solving, horizon broadening, and lots and lots of casual bonking. It's a whole new world of unchaperoned independence and freedom combined with 18-year-old hormones -- which can result in a lot of really bad life decisions. Follow these rules to save yourself from (at least some) sex-related humiliation and regret up in your ivory tower.

    1. Keep your condom shelf fully stocked at all times. Whether you're a man or a woman, make sure you keep a healthy supply of condoms on hand, for you, for your friends, for friends of friends. Invest in decent ones, with lubrication (but not spermicide), because everyone could use a little rehydration after a night of drinking (and let's face it, you will have been drinking - see tip #3). Replace the condoms when they get close to their expiration date -- because the only thing worse than not having a condom is
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  • Do Guys Really Think About Baseball to Last Longer?

    Advice from three of's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do men really think about baseball to make sex last longer? If they don't know anything about baseball, what else do they think about?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    tom_miller_100Straight Single Guy (Tom Miller):
    I guess I've never talked about it with other guys, but I don't know if delaying strategy is really discussed. I think dudes are generally pretty focused on the task at hand. Sometimes we think of a scene from Spaceballs, and that's when you catch us laughing.

    anonymous_suitanonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): I never really understood baseball statistics (the canonical thing the old advice manuals recommended men think about) but -- true story! -- when I was younger, I did sometimes make sex last longer by trying to figure out why anyone would want to think about baseball when they were having sex! For the record, one of the things that made sex last longer, for me and I think for a lot of men, is to

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  • Can You Fall in Love Through Video Chats?

    Stuck on you

    We get a lot of advice questions coming in at, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

    Dear Em & Lo,

    I met a great man through an online dating service. We haven't met, but he wants me to be his girlfriend. He is in Europe and is returning for a business trip in October. Is it possible for a man to fall in love or be infatuated with a woman through video chats? Does that even happen anymore?

    - Virtual Girlfriend

    What should V.G. do? Let her know in the comments below…


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