Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

  • Top 5 Kinds of Illegitimate Rape

    Todd Akin















    A big thank you to Missouri Republican Senate candidate and House Committee Member on "Science, Space and Technology," Todd Akin (pictured above), for finally saying what no one else has had courage to say publicly: that there's legitimate rape (you know the type: big, scary, minority stranger breaks into your house in the middle of the night, threatens you with a weapon, beats you to a pulp, sexually assaults you and leaves you for dead) and then there's just a bad date night. For too long, the liberal, feminist, pagan, vegetarian, drug-addicted, sexually promiscuous, and amoral elite have conflated the two. Well, not any more! For further clarification, read the following list which outlines the five main types of non-rape "rape":

    1. If you dressed provocatively. Why do you dress like that if you don't want to get raped? You're basically just asking for it, tempting men with your sinful curves and your devilish d├ęcolletage. How can you expect men to control themselves
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  • Do Men Know If Their Male Friends Are Circumcised or Not?

    TurtlesAdvice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do guys ever discuss circumcision with each other? Do you tend to know whether your guy friends are circumcised or not?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Gay Single Guy (Justin Huang): Gross. I don't know whether any of my straight guy friends are cut or not (repeat, gross), but I'm sure they'd be a bit freaked out to know that I probably know their penis size and if they're any good at using it if they've hooked up with any one of my girl friends. It's not like I want to know -- in fact it's the exact opposite! My straight boys are like my less evolved younger brothers (whom I don't share a bathroom with!). But margarita night with my girl friends does tend to stray into penis talk, and penis size is always something fun to giggle about over a mixed drink.

    When it comes to my fellow gay friends, I'm sure there's a common misconception that all we do is talk nonstop about dick, but if

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  • How to Give Your Partner Directions in Bed

    An old map.

    Dear Em & Lo,

    I truly enjoy sex with my boyfriend, but I don't orgasm through sex. We are a relatively new couple, and he hasn't learned how to get me off reliably with oral sex. He recently told me that when he performs oral sex on me, I am too quiet.

    I completely understand his desire for me to be more vocal and more directive. However, I hesitate, because the very few times I have given directions, he applied the advice in the moment but then never again. And I don't want to offend him by being patronizing or assuming he doesn't understand the female anatomy.

    I want to turn him on, and I want to orgasm when he goes down on me. I love him, and enjoy his efforts, but he doesn't seem to hit the right spot. How can I communicate what he should do without being condescending or patronizing? It's not like he's bad at this -- his efforts have been valiant the few times he has tried, he just hasn't learned my body completely yet.

    -- The Quiet American

    Dear Q.A.,

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  • How I Make My Open Relationship Work

    Threeway















    A few years ago, when I was a bright-eyed junior at UC Berkeley, I wrote about how my boyfriend and I were going on a break before I left to study abroad in Spain. At the time we had been together for two years, and I remember the reaction I received - from friends and readers alike - who thought I was being unrealistic in thinking that I could hook up with a slew of Spanish men and return to my relationship unscathed.

    Well, I'm happy to report that that three years (and many attractive foreign men) later, my boyfriend and I are still together and still as much in love as we were before - if not more so.

    Though our relationship has passed the five-year mark, this is not to say that it has been without its difficulties. I'm not going to lie and say our relationship was full of sunshine and daisies after I got back from Spain, because it wasn't. We dated other people and, yes, slept with other people, and like any normal relationship there were fights and there was jealousy

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  • How to Put the Cherry on Top of Your Climax

    Old Faithful













    Okay, before we tell you how to ejaculate, we have to set a couple things straight:

    First, yes, women can ejaculate.

    Next: no, not all women ejaculate. So if it doesn't happen for you, please don't stress about it or feel like your parts aren't working properly. The last thing we mean to do is set up an unrealistic sexpectation. And gents, please don't make it your "mission" to turn your gal into a geyser. It's okay to give it the ol' college try, but know when to give up.

    Some women squirt across the bed, others barely trickle, still others find G-spot stimulation so painful or annoying that they never get far enough to find out, and many may not have the kind of equipment that would allow them to ejaculate at all. And that's okay. But seeing as we're always being asked how to make it happen, we thought we'd at least tell you how to try.

    So, without further ado, you'll find our top ten tips for nurturing your inner female ejaculator, after the jump.


    1. Go

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  • Do Men Know when They Are in Love?

    Lego Cupid















    Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends
    . This week they answer the following: "Do guys know when they're in love?" To ask the guys your own question, click here. Do you agree with them? Disagree violently? Let us know below!

    Single Straight Guy (Colin Adamo of Hooking Up & Staying Hooked): Not always. I think we spend a lot of time debating and turning this question over and over in our own heads as soon as we're in a serious relationship (or even the first couple of weeks with a really exciting new partner). In some cases we may not recognize it until it's too late. Other times we jump to conclusions and let out those three words when we shouldn't. Sometimes the best thing that can happen to us is having friends and family give us that little push and point out that we are, in fact, in love.

    Married Straight Guy (Irad Eyal ofSexdegrees.net): Yes. No! Why is she here all the time? I think guys know when they're in love, but they're instantly terrified by the implications. At

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  • Can Your OB-GYN Tell If You're Not Doing Your Kegels?

    woman on the beach













    Dear Dr. Vanessa,

    I went to the gynecologist the other day and she said she could tell (during the internal examination) that I hadn't been doing my kegels (I had a kid a few years back). Is this really true? Also, if I do start doing kegels, is it something I'll need to do every day for the rest of my life, or is it something that you can do for a while to "get back in shape" and then stop doing?

    - Elastica

    Dear E,

    Yes, your gynecologist would be able to tell if your pelvic floor muscles are weak. There are several ways we can test the strength of a woman's pelvic floor muscles. Your doctor may have placed fingers in your vagina and then asked you to squeeze down on them. Or she may have asked you to cough or bear down as she examined the outside of your vagina (your vulva), and noticed urine leakage.

    The good news is that Kegel exercises are effective. They strengthen the pelvic floor muscles that support the rectum, vagina, and bladder. As your doctor

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  • How Men Can Do Kegels

    men who kegel














    Regular kegel exercises are a way to bond with your penis - and who couldn't benefit from more QT with his johnson? The more adept you become at isolating these muscles (and flexing them at will), the more aware you'll be of what's going on right before and during orgasm (beyond the usual "holy crap, that feels good!"). You'll also have more control over your number one guy. Of course, by "control" we mean that while he'll always be in the driver's seat, he might actually listen to your directions every now and then.

    Targeting the Muscle Group

    What works for the chicks works for the d*cks: next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or, if you've got a good imagination, pretend you're holding it right now.) Feel those internal muscles you're contracting? Good - those are your pelvic muscles. Just make sure that you're not tensing your butt or abs at the same time. Once you know where those muscles live, don't be literally stopping the flow

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  • How to Do Your Kegels

    Luna beadsNot only do defined pelvic muscles improve your sex life, they can also increase vaginal lubrication, make labor easier ("ease" being a relative concept there), prevent urinary incontinence (especially after giving birth), and help protect against prolapse of the uterus (a nasty condition, either inherited or caused by a series of tough childbirths, where the uterus pretty much just falls down into the vagina). The exercises can also help restore vaginal muscle tone after childbirth, for a tighter fit during sex. And a good strong pelvic floor can help make your G-spot more sensitive, thanks to increased blood flow in the pelvic arena. In addition to making orgasms easier to achieve (even multiple ones), regular kegels can improve any sexual activity where control (and, more importantly, the ability to relinquish control) is a factor -- for example, female ejaculation.

    Targeting the Muscle Group

    Next time you're on a tinkle break, stop the flow of pee for a few seconds. (Or,

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  • How Often Do You Do Kegel Exercises?

    woman riding bikeWe all know we're supposed to do them... and they SHOULD be easy to do, right? After all, we can do them while we're driving or reading a book or standing on line at the supermarket or in a meeting with our boss. But how many of us DO actually do them daily while we're going about our daily lives?

    Do you do them daily? Weekly? Monthly? Whenever a post like this reminds you that you should? Never? Or do you just plain not believe in Kegels? Let us know below, and click here to take a poll and see how you rank amongst our readers.

    MORE FROM EM and LO:
    -- A Guide to All the Toys in "50 Shades of Grey"
    -- Did You Know That Men Can Kegel Too?
    -- Everything You Wanted to Know About Kegels But Were Too Lazy to Ask

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