Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

  • Men Share the Best Relationship Advice They Ever Received

    Lucy's advice booth

















    Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends
    . This week they answer the following: "What's the best advice you've ever been given about relationships?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Single Straight Guy (Scott Phrenetik): "Make sure she's happy." Every woman is different and there are a myriad of ways to accomplish this, but by far the best relationship advice I've been given.

    Married Straight Guy (Ben D.): Best advice I've been given is, would you set your sister or cousin up with someone like you? If the answer is no, then why would anyone else want to date you?

    Single Gay Guy (Abraham Zeus Zapata): "Expectations lead to resentments, and when you allow people to just be themselves, the relationship can really grow." RuPaul said that.

    MORE FROM EM and LO:
    -- Will a Guy Get Bored If His Girlfriend or Wife Can't Climax?
    -- Can Avoiding Orgasms Improve Your Love Life?
    -- How "50 Shades of Grey" Is Increasing Sex Toy Sales

    Our "wise guys" are a rotating group of

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  • Your Weekly Horoscopes

    Grand Central ceilingaries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
    Love and money will go hand in hand this week. Of course, you should never rule out spending time with someone who interests you intellectually. But this week, we think you're going to find yourself in the fortunate position of not having to answer the following question: Was it love, or was it the jet plane to Paris for a private eight-course candle-lit dinner at the top of the Eiffel Tower?

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
    You know those people who seem oh-so-casual and relaxed about hooking up and hanging out with you, so much so that they're willing to go along with just about anything without much fuss? Chances are they aren't casual and relaxed at all, but rather enamored and whipped! When you're not that interested, it's easy to underestimate how interested others actually are in you. One person's meaningless fling is another person's beginning of a beautiful relationship. Make sure the people in your immediate sexual circle all say

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  • When Your Partner Doesn't Care About Your Pleasure

    The overwhelming sadness of depression.Dear Em & Lo,

    My fiance and I have been together for three years and have a one-year-old son. Although to most people we would seem to be a relatively happy couple, we do have our problems. Half of the problems now stem from our sexual relationship.

    For a while now my fiance does not consider my orgasm. He really has no consideration in bed, even when I am working my hardest to please him. I am not allowed to have vibrators or any sexual toy. I am not allowed to masturbate, not even in front of him to get us both going. If he figures I am doing anything, then I am just a bitch that is replacing him.

    I know he is insecure, but I don't know how to handle it anymore. It has just gotten so out of control that he has lost all consideration for my needs and now I need help.

    -- I Want What He's Having

    Dear I.W.W.H.H.,

    Sex does not occur in a vacuum. (There's not enough room in there, badum ching.) Seriously, though: sex -- and especially sex in a long-term, serious relationship -- is as

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  • How "50 Shades of Grey" is Boosting Sales for Sex Toy Companies

    Lelo's LUNA Beads

















    "Trust me?" he asks softly.
    I nod. He holds out his hand, and in his palm are two round, shiny, silver balls, linked with a thick black thread.
    "These are new," he says emphatically.
    I look questioningly up at him.
    "I am going to put these inside of you, and then I'm going to spank you, not for punishment, but for your pleasure and mine."

    This, of course, is one of the famous scenes from Fifty Shades of Grey, the first book in the erotic trilogy by EL James, a series that has made it acceptable for morning shows to discuss spanking and safe words, for women who never considered sex toys before to start investing in their pleasure. What Oprah did for books, EL James is doing for bedroom accessories.

    Case in point: sales of LELO's Luna Beads Kegel exercise balls recently and very suddenly jumped by a whopping 400% in the US alone! And they're thanking Fifty Shades for it.

    In the excerpt above, Christian and Ana are using the classic 'Ben Wa' or 'Geisha'

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  • What Do Men Really Think About Sexting?

    textingAdvice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "How do adult men feel about sexting? Juvenile phenomenon? Sexy way to break up a few hours apart? Words but no pics?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Gay Married Guy (Jon Ross): Sexting is pretty much the best use of smart phones that ever existed and I think Graham Bell would be mighty proud indeed to see the lengths to which mankind has taken his invention. Few things beat the rush of excitement when you get a naughty mid-day ping - be it pictures or words, it matters not. Sext away fair maiden! We can't get enough of it.

    Straight Single Guy (Adam): As long as sexting maintains its taboo, it's going to be fun. That definitely won't change. Unfortunately, however, "fun" doesn't always equate to "wise" or even "worth the risk." Whether it's worth the risk to send a few naughty lines or (yikes!) a picture of your man-parts to someone is a personal decision; one that should be made after

    Read More »from What Do Men Really Think About Sexting?
  • How Do I Know If My Kink is Normal?

    stockingsWe get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice for this man in the comments section below.

    Is my kink normal? About 12 years ago a woman I was seeing very casually at the time masturbated me with a pair of her tights wrapped around her hands. Apart from the feel of the soft nylon rubbing against me, the orgasm was the most intense I have ever had. Since then I have longed to have this done to me again. And I've fantasized about being masturbated by a woman's feet clad in tights or stockings.

    However, having brought it up with my ex, she found it pervy and unnatural and this was one of the reasons she ditched me after threatening to expose this information on Facebook (I have since blocked her and cancelled my account). Still, it is the one thing I would love to experience again, the so-called nylon

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  • Help, Toys Terrify My Boyfriend in Bed!

    couple's toyDear Em & Lo,

    I can climax really easily during masturbation, but I have never climaxed with my boyfriend. I really want to try out a toy during sex, as I think it will help, but every time I bring up the topic with my boyfriend he gets defensive about it. He says things like it'll replace him and that I'll want the toy more than him, and whatnot. It's just that I really want to share an orgasm with him. What can I do?

    --Unplugged

    Dear Unplugged,

    Um, how about you tell your boyfriend that you want him to give up orgasms for 2012. If he complains, tell him that his hesitation makes you think that he cares about his orgasms more than he cares about you. And whatnot. This might help bring your point home...

    Or perhaps you want to take a kinder, gentler approach. In which case you could go toy-shopping with him so that he can help you pick out a toy that doesn't intimidate him so much. We can totally understand him not wanting to share the bed with a work-horse like

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  • I Think I Might like Kink (And No, It's Not Because of 50 Shades of Grey)

    red handcuffsA female friend of ours, a recent college grad who wishes to remain anonymous, has a confession to make:

    I think I might be kinky.

    I know, I know: These days, who isn't? With Fifty Shades of Greyrefusing to budge from the bestseller list and Rihanna singing about how chains and whips excite her, it's practically de rigueur to own a pair of fuzzy handcuffs. But I know for me, this isn't some trendy game I'll play with a pink blindfold and a couple of scarves (though if those are your thing, more power to you!). I'm talking about real domination and submission, real pain.

    I've always liked playing around with control in the bedroom. One boyfriend I had would pretend to be a bandit or a pirate and I would be the pretty maiden waiting to be ravished. Another would pin me down, yank my hair, bite harder than usual. (Unfortunately, most guys couldn't seem to understand that I actually wanted something that hurt and left a mark, not just a delicate, ticklish nip on the neck

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  • Why Won't My Boyfriend Sleep with Me?

    Rejection love heartsWe get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below.

    Dear Em & Lo,

    I am writing for a few reasons, and hoping to get some straight advice. First, I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years. I'm 23 and he's 29. It was kind of a crazy situation, but he swept me off my feet and we lived together pretty immediately. I was head over heels with him when we met and those first few months of love-making were amazing.

    Now, we have settled into that old married couple state, where there is little excitement and lots of routine (you know, where you do nothing fun anymore and have tv shows you watch on certain days of the week).

    Here is the problem. Where we used to have amazing, spontaneous sex several times a week, now it has dwindled to once a month, if that, and currently a

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  • Can You Ruin Things by Sleeping with a Guy Too Quickly?

    jealousyG'day mates (yep I'm Australian),

    Okay, the scenario: Met a guy on a Friday at a shop. Swapped numbers and he asked me out. I couldn't that weekend cause I was busy with my bday party. He texted me Saturday night to ask how the party was going and mentioned he was close by. I was drunk partying with friends and I asked him to join us. He did.I party Aussie style, which can be a little wild. We ended up spending the night together.

    He called or texted every day since and we went out again last night and he spent the night. I did tell him I wasn't looking for just a hook-up and I won't be a booty call. He assured me he thought we had chemistry and that it was more than that.

    I'd like a relationship with him but have I blown it sleeping with him too quickly? Would he look at me as girlfriend material? We are both early 40′s so not kids and both educated successful people. I date a lot and sleep with guys if I want to but am clear I don't want relationship BUT this guy is

    Read More »from Can You Ruin Things by Sleeping with a Guy Too Quickly?

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