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  • Your Love Life Horoscopes: 3-10-2014

    Grand Central ceilingEach week, we at predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes - ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.) This week, it's the haiku edition!

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)

    Open up your mouth

    And speak the truth of your heart.

    Easy on the tongue.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)

    Move over, kick back,

    Just go along for the ride.

    Do not backseat drive.

    gemini (May 21st-June 21st)

    Friends keep their pants on.

    Friendship is overrated.

    Kiss first. Names later.

    cancer (June 22nd-July 22nd)

    You want to get head,

    But if you have a big head,

    You won't get any.

    leo (July 23rd-Aug. 22nd)

    Dinner and movies

    Are for uninspired shmo's.

    Think: bunjee jumping.

    virgo (Aug. 23rd-Sept. 22nd)

    Like a monkey's butt

    Your mojo is big and red.

    People will notice.

    libra (Sept. 23rd-Oct. 23rd)

    Don't be a hermit.

    Go to your office drinks

    Read More »from Your Love Life Horoscopes: 3-10-2014
  • A Brief History of Love

    The book The book

    The new book Love Sense by clinical psychologist Dr. Sue Johnson tries to take some of the mystery out of that big emotion. While that may not sound very romantic, Johnson is dedicated to the scientific exploration of love so that we may have better, more-fulfilling, more intimate long-term relationships -- especially in a world where independence, isolation and non-monogamy are growing more common. Her book offers real-life examples and practical exercises, based on the Emotionally Focused Therapy she developed in her own practice. Below is an excerpt from the first chapter, which outlines a brief history of love and why it still matters in the 21st century.

    "Love Sense" by Dr. Sue Johnson
    from Chapter 1

    My memories are full of the sounds and sights of love: The ache in my elderly grandmother's voice when she spoke of her husband, gone nearly fifty years. A railway signalman, he had courted her, a ladies' maid, for seven years on the one Sunday she had off each month. He died

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  • Dream Interpretation: My Girlfriend & I Had the Same Dream on the Same Night!

    car car
    Other people's dreams are never interesting…except when they're about sex. Each week,'s dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. Got a dream you want Lauri to analyze? Click here to submit it (18 and older only, please). This week, a reader asks Lauri: So I had a dream I got in a car accident -- it was another guy driving and it was a smaller green car. And then I woke up. I got up, left my girlfriend sleeping, and went to lie on the couch. I'm sitting there and I hear crying coming from my room after an hour and a half. I run to the room to see that my girlfriend is still sleeping but crying, so I wake her up to see what's wrong and she tells me she lost me. She went on to explain what her dream was about: I had gotten into a car accident and by the time she got to the hospital, I had died! Her memory of this dream is similar: green car, guy driving and me dying! Can you help explain this to me?

    lauri_loewenberg_100Lauri: Two people can

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  • Top 5 Love Lessons from the Bachelor (Juan Pablo, the Women Tell All)

    Top 5 Love Lessons from the Bachelor (Juan Pablo, the Women Tell All)

    1. Ladies, never say you "think too much." Serious reflection, internal debate, philosophical pondering -- these are all good things in a woman, in a romantic partner, in a human being (even if they may seem surprising to Juan Pablo).
    2. Honesty is the best policy when it comes to non-exclusive relationships -- anyone you're dating should be made aware of the fact that you're seeing other people. That said, do so delicately and with restraint -- they don't need to hear the details of your other relationships or be made to feel like one of many.
    3. It takes a real narcissist to look back on past relationships (whether those relationships occurred simultaneously or not) and profess "no regrets." Really? Not a single, itty-bitty one? How about a little self reflection, humility and personal improvement by honestly admitting, even if it's just to yourself, how you could have been a better partner. We're sure you can think of something.
    4. The only way to deal with an ex who's been hurt by you is with
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  • Your Love Life Horoscopes: 03-03-14

    Grand Central starsGrand Central stars

    Each week, we at predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes - ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th) Don't look now, but - hey, we said don't look! Geez, sometimes you're about as subtle as a sneeze in church. Anyway, as we were saying, just over there in the corner, someone has their eye on you. We think they might be about to make their move. Avoid staring them down or otherwise scaring them off (e. g. sudden jerky motions, dramatic lifestyle changes, a new haircut) and you should find yourself being seduced very soon.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th) So maybe you've got a month of dirty laundry, sixty-four hours of unwatched Tivo television, and a stack of unpaid bills at home. But this is not the week to hide your light under a bushel (or a load of laundry). You've got it all going on: great hair week, clear skin, zero water retention - all that

    Read More »from Your Love Life Horoscopes: 03-03-14
  • Everyone You’ve Ever Dated, by 2014 Oscar-Nominated Roles

    You've dated these Oscar nominees without knowing it.
    Did you get a weird sense of deja vu while Oscar-cramming all the movies before Sunday's big awards show? It's not just because you can chart your dating style based on the Oscar-nominated movies (as we explained earlier this week) - it's because this year's crop of best acting nominees, in the lead and supporting roles, somehow manage to represent the archetypes of every person you've ever dated. To wit…

    The One You Date for Their "Potential": Christian Bale, American Hustle

    On paper, these people are all wrong for you: Maybe they're already married, for example, or unemployed, or a con artist. But there's something charming about them - maybe it's their incongruous body confidence, or their tenderness toward stray animals or children - that takes you off guard, and convinces you that they have the ability to be a great person. While you hang around waiting for this person to change, you find yourself forgiving everything from premature hair loss to infidelity.

    The Bad

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  • How NOT to Set Boundaries in a New Relationship

    I wanna hold your hand... but I don't want to date you.Every week or Em & Lo answer queries from you, dear readers, about your love lives. You can submit your own question - anonymously! - via their contact form here.

    Dear Em & Lo

    I believed that I had met a wonderful man who became a friend. About a year ago, he was going through a very bad breakup with his girlfriend. We saw each other off and on as friends. He mentioned to me that he was getting "those needs met" by other women, and to be honest, I really did not care - that was his personal business. Granted, we were very attracted to each other, and we were affectionate towards each other - holding each other, kissing each other, and flirting. I expressed to him that I have boundaries that I will not cross.

    Just recently we got together to hang out and have dinner. I told him that it was my treat because he had paid for the last two times. The dinner went great, and he took me home and in my driveway he leaned over and started to kiss me. It was fine until he started to get

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  • The Bachelor’s Big Reveal: Juan Pablo & the Fantasy Suite Charade

    The Bachelor


    Many episodes of The Bachelor of have been touted as "the most dramatic ever!" - last night's truly was.


    It has been a long-time coming: 18 seasons to be exact (and that's not even counting all the spin-offs). But after yesterday's fantasy suite episode of The Bachelor with Juan Pablo, the veils have finally dropped, exposing the show as the anti-fairy-tale it actually is.


    Cynics and smart people have known all along it was a sham, but the producers have always taken great pains to perpetuate the fairy-tale myth. For instance, every bachelor follows the script which dictates that he have no clue who he's going to choose until he wakes up on the morning of the final rose ceremony with sudden, miraculous clarity about his "one true love." No conversations about religion or politics are ever aired (do they even take place?), because matters of the heart are supposed to transcend that. And the vast majority of the women the producers

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  • Top 5 Love Lessons from the Bachelor (Juan Pablo, Hometown Dates)

    A hometown picnic on The Bachelor
    1. Dudes: No sleeveless tees over long-sleeved ones (even if they're attached and it's supposed to be a "look"). In fact, better yet: No sleeveless tees, period.

    2. If one of the parents of your date asks for either a private dance performance or a private dance lesson from you, quickly but tactfully get your date back by your side to immediately dilute the creepy factor (just as JP did with Andi's mom).

    3. It's 2014. You don't need to ask anyone's father's permission to propose marriage. But if you insist on asking for a blessing (or the more confrontational "Would you welcome me into this family?"), then ask both parents, not just the dad. (This applies to any ladies considering proposing as well.)

    4. Renee's mom said it best: "We can love our pets; but you need to be in love with the [person] you want to be with." Make sure you don't just have a "pet," or that you are the "pet."

    5. Don't meet the child of your date unless you're sure you see a future together. And

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  • Your Dating Style, According to 2014′s Oscar-Nominated Movies

    American Hustle

    Last week we dished up sex and dating wisdom from Matthew McConaughey, according to the various characters he's played over the years - from Dazed and Confused all the way through to True Detective. This week we're going to let you figure out your love/sex/dating style, according to which is your favorite Oscar-nominated movie of the list below…


    American Hustle

    You like saucy roleplaying (especially with wigs). And you approve of mind games, both in and out of the bedroom.

    We fight and then we f***, that's our thing. - Rosalyn Rosenfeld

    You're nothing to me until you're everything. - Sydney Prosser

    She was the Picasso of passive-aggressive karate. - Irving Rosenfeld

    Captain Phillips

    You think that communication is the cornerstone of all good relationships, and you won't give up until you've perfected this. You play by the rules, because that's how good relationships prosper.

    The problem is not me talking. The problem is you not listening. - Captain Phillips

    I came too far, I can't

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