Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

  • How to End Things After One Date


    We've all been there: you reach the bottom of your grande iced decaf soy mocha and you know, in your heart of hearts, that you'd rather see Oprah and Jerry Springer thumb-wrestling naked than go on a second date with this person. How do you end things before they've even really officially begun?

    If you can pull it off, a simple "It was nice seeing/meeting you" is all you need to say. If you can exit a first date with those final words, you're not obligated to do any follow-up work. You'll need to resist your natural instinct to make promises you can't or won't keep. If you can't bear to be so blunt, add an "I'll email you" to wrap things up nicely. Of course, that means you are required to follow through. Take solace in the fact that it is infinitely easier to let someone down gently over email. If, in a moment of weakness, you accidentally blurt out "I'll call you," then you've got to call. Think of it as good dating karma.

    When you make that call or send that email - whether

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  • Top 10 Reasons I Love My IUD


    EMandLO.com contributor Abby Spector, who is majoring in Feminine/Gender/Sexuality Studies at Wesleyan University, confesses her love for her IUD:

    1. No hormones!
    2. But if you like hormones, they offer one with hormones.
    3. I don't need to remember take a pill, change a patch, get another shot, or visit the doctor.
    4. Where will you be in 12-years? That's how long the IUD can last. (No worries. You can get it removed any time).
    5. I love Norway. Norwegians love the IUD, with 27% of their safe, sexually active women using an IUD.
    6. IUDs are 99% effective. Woo!
    7. The T-shape makes me think of a mini-cross lodged in my uterus. It's like Jesus warding off sperm.
    8. In the process of insertion, I learned that I have a tilted uterus. I feel unique, like there's a mini slide in my va-jay.
    9. My mom has one. I trust that lady and I love her uterus.
    10. My bank account. It's one of the most -- if not THE most -- inexpensive form of birth control: $500 to $1000 for up to 12
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  • 5 Down-There Hairstyles Defined



    Dear Em & Lo,


    A friend and I disagree on pubic topiary terminology and I'm hoping you can settle this for us. I say the mohawk and the landing strip are the same thing, and the Hollywood is when you go totally bald. I also say both styles are types of Brazilians. My friend says the landing strip style is called the Hollywood, and it is not a type of Brazilian. She says the only Brazilian style is the totally bald style. Who's got their facts straight on this issue?


    --Kate Bush

    Dear Kate,

    There doesn't appear to be any kind of national advisory board on pubic hair styles, so we can't say that the following definitions are exactly official...but Wikipedia agrees with the following terminology, so that's good enough for us:

    • 1) Landing strip -- Most of the hair is removed except for a vertical rectangle of closely trimmed hair. This rectangle starts at the top of the vulva and goes up (sometimes as far as the hair goes, sometimes less). Depending on how much hair is removed from
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  • How Do You Recover From Awkward Sex?

    We want to hear your awkward sex story and how you bounced back from it!:

    • Did you or your partner do something mortifying in bed that you had to get over the next time you were between the sheets?
    • Did your or your partner's equipment once fail to work (or work too well, i.e. too quickly)?
    • How about having sex for the first time after forgiving a partner's transgression?
    • Did you ever have such a long dry spell that finally having sex again became an issue? Or did you wait so long to cash in your V card that it became a much bigger deal than it needed to be?
    • Did someone accidentally (or "accidentally") go through the "backdoor" when it was locked?
    • Did you ever discover a partner's secret porn collection?
    • Were you ever busted for faking an orgasm?
    You get the picture -- we're looking for any and every kind of awkward moment that made the subsequent sex just as awkward or even more so! And we want to know how you recovered (i.e. made the subsequent sex justRead More »from How Do You Recover From Awkward Sex?
  • Your Call: Should She Try Again with Her Ex?


    We get a lot of advice questions coming in at EMandLO.com, but sadly, we just can't answer them all. Which is why, once a week, we turn to you to decide how best to advise a reader. Make your call by leaving your advice in the comments section below:

    Dear Em & Lo,

    I broke up with my boyfriend of almost two years four days ago as I didn't feel like I was in love him him any more. I had been thinking about breaking up for so long and really thought I was making the right decision. Anyway, we said we would stay friends (he's been my best friend, and me his, for the last two years, and I would hate it if he left my life altogether). The first few days were full of ups and downs but overall I felt like it was going well (a lot better than I expected to anyway). We are both at the same university doing the same degree so have every single lecture together, which I admit does make things slightly more awkward.

    Last night he came round to my house and we were talking about how we

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  • The 5 Rules of Making a Move on Someone Who’s Taken


    So you've met that perfect someone, the man or woman you suspect could be the illustrious "One" -- but they're inconveniently dating someone else. How do you plead your case?

    1. First, are you absolutely convinced this person is your soul mate? Because if you're just in it for the sex, then stealing them away from a perfectly good relationship is just plain sleazy.
    2. It's okay to be honest with the object of your affection, but no ultimatums. Confess your feelings, but try to avoid saying, "If I can't have you, no one will [maniacal laugh]," or, "I'm going to eat my goldfish if you don't go out with me."
    3. Once the ball is in their court, give them the time and space to decide whether to return the serve - or hit the net. And here's the thing: You must let them make the decision alone. If you encourage them in any way to leave, lie to, or cheat on their current lover, you are weasel who deserves to roam the deserted streets of Solitude for the rest of your days.
    4. If your "true
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  • How Men Feel About a Woman Proposing

    Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Would most men be cool with a woman proposing marriage to them? (assuming they're in a serious committed relationship where marriage has become an unspoken expectation for both parties)." To ask the EM & Lo's Wise Guys your own question, click here.

    anonymous_suitanonymous_suitStraight Married Guy (Figleaf): I was pretty cool with it!

    We'd been in a serious committed relationship for years, and I'd known almost right away that I wanted to marry her. The expectation had even gone from unspoken to spoken when her fairly conservative mom cornered us coming out of a hotel room together on a family trip and said, "So what's the deal with you two?" We stammered a bit and my partner blurted out "But we're going to get married." And I nodded vigorously. Now, at the moment it wasn't strictly true. We'd talked about it a lot but never made an actual decision. We talked about it later, a bit surprised that in our mid-thirties we were

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  • Confession: I Like the Sounds of Sex


    EMandLO.com contributor Jewely Hoxie, who is studying Human Sexuality at the University of California Santa Cruz -- you can read her blog here -- has a confession to make:

    You constantly hear about how men get off just from the sound of their partner's moans and groans -- there's a reason that all those porn stars work so hard to vocalize their enjoyment. But it's not just men who get an ego boost -- amongst other benefits -- from the sounds of sex. I'm here to report that this woman, at least, loves the noise as much as any man.

    Of course, the men I sleep with don't tend to moan as loudly or as often as those female porn stars, but I take what I can get, whether it's vocals or the physical noises of our bodies in friction, or just a brief breathy exhalation -- which can be just as hot as a moan, and informative, too. It tells me that thing right there you're doing is really working. It's the sexiest form of communication I know.

    And if a guy can take the noise beyond simple

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  • What Guys Think Makes for a Memorable One-Night-Stand



    Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends
    . This week they answer the following: "What makes for a memorable (in a good way) one night stand?" To ask the guys your own question, click here.








    colin_adamo_new_100colin_adamo_new_100Straight Single Guy (Colin Adamo): Often the fun part of a one-night stand is in the spontaneity, the sense of adventure and exploration, and the feeling that you're doing something naughty. You can make yours memorable by amplifying all these factors. Dig deep into your closet of kinky thoughts. Find one of those dirty, dirty fantasies you save for the extra long, extra steamy showers. One so exquisitely filthy you'd drop dead if anyone you knew found out it ever even crossed your mind. Maybe it's simply begging for dirty talk so X-rated it would make Larry Flynt blush. Maybe it's dragging him into a confessional booth at St. Patrick's Cathedral where you both shout to the heavens. Whatever it is, you've got nothing to lose, since you don't plan on seeing him again. Feel free to be assertive

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  • How to Bench a Boyfriend or Girlfriend


    To "bench" someone, romantically speaking, is to put them in relationship limbo without telling them. Let's say you have a sneaky feeling that you might want to break up with your partner soon, but you're not 100 percent sure, and in the meantime you don't want to screw things up just in case you're wrong. A grownup might confess these feelings of uncertainty, but that would lead to a Big Talk - and all that melodramatic over-analyzing is precisely what you're trying to avoid right now. So you bench your partner and kind of hang out in relationship stasis, marking time until you've made up your mind whether to stay or go. During this period, there are some basic rules you should follow:

    1. Don't introduce your partner to any more friends or family members, especially by attending a family reunion together - nothing sends a mixed message like dumping someone the day after your sibling asks them to be bridesmaid/groomsman.
    2. Likewise, don't commit to any double dates more than a week
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