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  • 5 Easy Steps to Halloween Roleplaying

    If you hate karaoke and public speaking is one of your greatest fears, then the whole idea of acting out your fantasies probably sounds about as appealing as, well, karaoke and public speaking. If that's you, then you can use Halloween to gently test the sexual benefits of role-playing. It's the perfect excuse to become someone else for the night, which ultimately means having sex like someone else: trying new positions, using new props, saying new dirty (or dirtier) things...

    1. Make sure you've got a costume party to go to -- a legitimate excuse to dress up will help motivate you.
    2. Wear something out of character that makes you feel sexy and use it as an excuse to act a little differently -- no one will think you're weird, they'll just think you're committing to the costume. So if you tend to be a wallflower in your daily life, then try an outfit that's empowering, like "police officer" or "royalty." If you're a career-minded, tough-talking go-getter, then try something a little
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  • Do Men Notice What Women Wear?

    Advice from three of Em & Lo's guy friends. This week they answer the following: "Do guys care about what a woman wears, or is she basically just dressing to impress herself and her fellow females (and perhaps her gay friends)?"

    Straight Single Guy (Chris): Yes we do. We don't necessarily care about brand names, the latest or most expensive bags and shoes, or the subtleties of this seasons' whatevers. We do however, care how our partner looks, what type of style she has, what people think of her, and of course, her sexiness vs. librarian-ness. I think we all want our partners to look attractive to other people, but not appear to be a contestant on "Rock of Love." We appreciate a girl who can dress appropriately as the situation requires -- everything from the right clothes to wear to a football game to the right thing to wear out to a nice restaurant. That means dressing up and dressing down, all while maintaining the right balance between sexy and conservative. (I hate the

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  • Your Halloween Horoscopes

    Here are your Halloween horrorscopes from Em & Lo -- they're so accurate, it's scary:

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
    Consider yourself warned: There are some people who will assume that just because you're dressed as a cheap crack w---- this Halloween, you want to be treated as such. So be prepared to point out the line between fantasy and reality. And practice saying the word no... and meaning it.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
    If your partner has been sneaking around a lot lately, don't assume they're having an affair. Maybe they're planning a surprise Halloween costume ball, a la Eyes Wide Shut. And if that's the case, don't be surprised when the only people who show up are wrinkly old men draped in cloaks.

    gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
    Being a party pooper about dressing up this week probably means you're a party pooper in the bedroom, unwilling to be creative and wacky, use props, or try roleplaying. So get thee to a Ricky's, stat!

    More...cancer (June 22nd-July

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  • The 14 Things You Need to Know About the Nuva Ring

    Dr. Kate is an OB/GYN at one of the largest teaching hospitals in New York City and she answers your medical questions on once every two weeks. To ask her your own question, click here.

    When it comes to hormonal birth control, I get more questions about the NuvaRing than any other method -- for proof, just check out the comments sections of my posts "Tell Me About the Nuva Ring" and "Does the Nuva Ring Deserve Its Bad Press." The ring just doesn't seem to be as intuitive as the once-a-day-every-day tyranny of the birth control pill. Most women's questions focus on the timing of the ring, and what happens if their schedule gets thrown off. So, since Em & Lo have put a moratorium on Nuva Ring questions for the time being, here are the 14 points about the Nuva Ring that should hopefully answer any and all questions.

    1. When to start it: You can start the ring any time you want...

    • If you're starting it with your period, put in the ring during the first 5 days of
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  • Do You Pick Your Partner's Bacne?

    This is one of those small-but-huge issues: For some couples, squeezing each other's hard-to-reach zits is the ultimate in intimacy. For them, it means they accept -- indeed embrace -- each other's imperfections, and it's a sign of true love. And yet for others, it's the height of grossness -- these couples are more concerned with preserving a little mystery, and would rather keep their whiteheads to themselves.
    So, which side of the bacne line do you lie on? Leave your comments below, or click here to vote in the poll and see how you measure up.


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  • Does Living Together for 7 Years Make You Common Law Married?

    Our friend Robin Epstein and her sister Amy Epstein Feldman just wrote a hilarious (not to mention helpful) book called So Sue Me, Jackass! Avoiding Legal Pitfalls That Can Come Back to Bite You at Work, at Home, and at Play. Over the past three weeks, we've published excerpts answering questions like "Can you get sued if you break someone's penis during sex?" and"If you get married while drunk, does it count?" This week we'll learn about common law marriage - is it real or just an urban myth? Stay tuned for one final excerpt next week.

    Q: My best friend and her boyfriend, let's call him "Peter Pan," have been living together for ten years but he won't propose because (1) commitment scares him and (2) he's a yutz who won't grow up. But my friend says she doesn't mind because they've lived together for seven years so now they're "common law married" anyway. Is that right?

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  • When Your Booty Call Wants to Spoon

    For some people, casual sex is no longer the sole goal of a booty call; casual intimacy has come into (the) play.

    We call this The Free Trial: Some people can sample cheese in Whole Foods and keep on shopping, while others immediately purchase five pounds of super-aged gouda. And so with relationships: Some people like a small nibble of relationship - a bit of cuddling and hand-holding here, a bit of brunch with the crossword there - but it doesn't make them crave an entire block of commitment. You can tempt them with free trials 'til the cows come home, but that might be just enough to sate them.

    Unfortunately, cutting off the supply doesn't change their behavior, either: some people just don't need cheese in their lives the way others do (at least, not yet). Especially when there's fro-yo next door and artisanal fudge across the street.

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  • Em & Lo's Wise Guys: Are Men Hardwired to Cheat?

    Advice from three of's guy friends. This week we ask, "Are men hardwired to cheat? More than women? To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Straight Married Guy (Ben): When it comes to sex, sexuality and attraction, men ARE hardwired for many things. We are hardwired to notice - men, women, whatever your sexual preference. We are hardwired to assess - breasts, ass, legs, face. We notice and then assess. Attractive? How so? What about these breasts is hot? What about those legs? How does the whole package work together? Men are also hardwired for sex - sex with a partner(s), sex with strangers, sex alone - and often times these three hardwires get crossed and that's where fantasies can come from. Or random pick-ups. Men are NOT, however, hardwired to cheat. Cheating = lying and deceit and no one is hardwired for that. Except for maybe pathological liars, but that's a mental illness.

    Gay Committed Guy (Mark): I don't think we're hardwired for the kind of monogamy the question implies. There are too many places to look for answers - seahorses? Mormons? - but jokes are useful places:

    Q: What does a lesbian bring on a second date?
    A: A U-Haul.

    Q: What does a gay guy bring on a second date?
    A: Second date?

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  • He's Perfect... Except for the Sex. Can I Marry Him?

    To submit your own advice question to Em & Lo, click here.

    Dear Em & Lo,

    This may sound pathetic, but the guy I am dating is perfect for me, I love him and want him as my husband, but I don't really enjoy our sex life. It's two and a half years in and I don't think it's going to get much better. I know what I could have in that department and even where to get it, it's just not with my BF. Is the only way forward to get out and wait for everything to be perfect? My mom, of course, wants me to get married, but I am only 27 and don't want to spend the next 20 years thinking about being unfaithful, which has happened once already. Please, which way is up?

    - Can't Get No Satisfaction

    Dear C.G.N.S.,

    Hmm…looks like we disagree on our definitions of "perfect." Where we come from, "perfect" means someone who complements you emotionally, spiritually, physically - the whole soulmate package, ya know? It sounds like your guy would make a perfect platonic soulmate…but it doesn't sound like that's going to satisfy you.

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  • Your Call: Do We Need Male Reproductive Rights?

    Dear Em & Lo,

    The way I see it, there is simply no such concept as male reproductive rights. If your girl gets pregnant and wants to keep the baby, congratulations, you're a dad! Pay up, sucker. If you want to keep it but she wants to abort it, tough luck -- there goes your progeny. The only thing a dude can do is rubber up and screen for sexual partners with similar values. We get it, the baby's growing in the woman's body, and ownership is 9/10ths of the law. But come on, now. There's got to be some kind of reasonable compromise. I don't have an easy answer to this, and I doubt anyone else will either. Men will continue to get a raw deal here. But could you open the topic to discussion?

    -- Cat Amongst the Pigeons

    Consider it done! What do you think, do we need male reproductive rights? And if so, what would they be? Let the debate begin (no throwing things, please) in the comments section below. Or join the debate already in progress (with some very opinionated men) on

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