Blog Posts by EMandLO.com


  • We feel just
    awful that we can't answer every single advice question we get at EMandLO.com, but we figure that any answer is better than no answer at all. Which is why, every now and then, we let you guys decide how to advise a reader. Share your advice to this reader's dilemma in the comment section below:

    Dear Em & Lo,
    Two months ago I met a man online, we went out on a first date and hit it off immediately. We saw each other a few days later, and had sex after that date. We continued to see each other over the course of the month two or three times a week. He then went away on vacation. Upon his return we made plans to see each other, but he had to cancel because of a work issue, which also took him on a long business trip. He returned recently and contacted me, however we haven't been able to see each other because he broke his foot. He's stated that he likes spending time with me, but he's in an incredible amount of pain. But he's maintained a level of silence, by only

    Read More »from A “Business Trip” Then a “Broken Foot” — Is He Just Not That Into You?
  • Dream Interpretation: My Cheating Fiance’s in the Driver’s Seat


    Other people's dreams are never interesting…except when they're about sex. Each week, EMandLO.com's dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what their dirty dream means. This week, a woman asks Lauri:

    In real life, my fiancé and I have been together for about a year and a half. Our relationship has always been long distance. We recently had a very huge fight over him cheating on me and it ended up with us together again. Here's my dream: we're both in a car, me in the back and him driving. Were on a familiar road near my house that is usually busy but there is no one around. The car is just sitting in the middle of the road and he's looking back at me through the rear view mirror. He keeps asking me if I'm ready to lose my virginity. I couldn't hear myself answer but I kept on mouthing what I was trying to say. No matter what, he would always answer "You have to wait" and then stop looking at me and focus on the road.

    Read More »from Dream Interpretation: My Cheating Fiance’s in the Driver’s Seat
  • Em & Lo's Sex and Love Horoscopes

    For the week of June 22nd...

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
    Keep yourself busy this week. And we don't mean by re-organizing your sock drawer or making it a Blockbuster Night. Go out on the town, wine, dine, take in the sights, absorb some local culture, flirt, shake your groove thang, sing karaoke, make out in dark corners. You're much hotter when you're cooking something up than when you just order in.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
    Whenever you're feeling particularly broke, you can head over to your gourmet grocery store and nosh on all their free samples. Not only can you fill up on tasty snacks, but you avoid splashing out on some of the supermarket's less successful culinary experiments. This week, let friendship be your equivalent of trying before buying. Get to know someone before putting your heart on the line. Otherwise, it could end up mashed in the blender like the unfortunate pureed pea dip you sampled last week.

    gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
    The

    Read More »from Em & Lo's Sex and Love Horoscopes
  • Dear Em & Lo: My New Boyfriend Doesn't, Er, Measure Up

    To ask Em & Lo your own advice question, click here.

    Dear Em & Lo,
    About six months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 18 months and have recently met someone new. The other day the new boy and I were engaging in some hands-on action which led me to discover that he nowhere near measured up to my ex. The new boy was around 4-6″. My problem is that I'm really worried about having sex with him because my ex was over 8″. I feel really disappointed and I know that 8″ is a high bar that's been set. Am I bad person or should I go looking for something more? Why can't good-looking men come with the measurements of their penis tattooed onto their wrist or something? The problems and surprises that would solve..
    -Sizeist

    Dear Sizeist,

    We almost didn't print your letter because of the emotional damage it might inflict on insecure men everywhere. It's the secret fear that everyone - male and female - experiences at some point in their hook-up life: Am I being compared to their ex(es)? And if so, am I failing to measure up?

    Read More »from Dear Em & Lo: My New Boyfriend Doesn't, Er, Measure Up
  • Em & Lo's Wise Guys: What’s a Guy-Friendly Date?


    Advice from three of EMandLO.com's guy friends. This week they answer the following: What is a guy-friendly date? To ask the guys your own question, click here.

    Gay Engaged Guy (Joel Derfner, author of Swish): Seriously? Anything that doesn't involve talking about feelings.

    Straight Married Guy (Fred): If he's into you, anything is a guy-friendly date. Okay, maybe not ballroom dancing for a football guy. But then again, with ballroom dancing, he gets to put his hands all over you, so that could still be good. Watching "Dancing With The Stars," that would be unfriendly to guys (note to wife). To make a date really enjoyable for guys, food and sex is really all it takes, but let's just focus on the entertainment portion of the evening. One of my favorite dates was driving mini-race cars. Another was going to Coney Island in NY. Another was when my car broke down and we had to wait for hours in the closest bar for the tow truck. I would guess sporting events would be an enjoyable date for most guys, but I'm not a sports guy so that wouldn't work for me. I know a man who's into vintage hot rods and floral arranging (I did not make that up), so it's difficult to narrow in on what will please guys in general. Everyone's different. But again, if he's into you, you are the main attraction.

    Read More »from Em & Lo's Wise Guys: What’s a Guy-Friendly Date?
  • Dream Interpretation: I Kissed a Shirtless Guy in the Rain


    Other people's dreams are never interesting…except when they're about sex. Today, EMandLO.com's dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg tells one lucky reader what her dirty dream means. She asks Lauri:

    I'm driving by the park in the town where I live. It's very hot and humid and it starts to rain (a lot). I notice the guy I like (and have asked out with a response of yes, but due to work we couldn't go out) running shirtless on the sidewalk, dripping in sweat and rain. As I pull over to let him in out of the rain, I notice how ripped he is. On the way to his house we stop on a side road and he looks at me, says "hi," and we lean into each other and start making out in my truck in the rain.

    Read More »from Dream Interpretation: I Kissed a Shirtless Guy in the Rain
  • Studies Show Chivalry Is Sexist


    With the excellent debate going on in response to our recent Wise Guys question about men behaving chivalrously, we thought we'd stir the pot a bit by mentioning studies that suggest chivalrous behavior is a subtle yet harmful form of sexism, known as benevolent sexism. The term was coined in 1996 by the first study of this kind (as far as we know), which showed that men who exhibit signs of chivalry (opening doors open for women, always paying for the date, being protective) often exhibit signs of hostile sexism as well (thinking of women as less intelligent, weaker creatures whose place is in the home). These findings were supported by another study by the University of Michigan several years later. Dr. Daisy Grewal, writing for Psychology Today earlier this year, has a compelling round-up of a lot of the research on the topic, saying that "Both perspectives [hostile and benevolent sexism] fail to view women as multi-faceted equals to men." She gets a heated response from a fellow

    Read More »from Studies Show Chivalry Is Sexist
  • 5 Things Your Father Inadvertently Taught You About Sex


    It's Fathers's Day this coming Sunday - don't forget to call and thank him for all the wonderful advice:

    1. If you refuse to ask for directions, make sure you've got a nice, communicative lady (i.e. Garmin) to show you the way.
    2. Use headcovers for your woodies.
    3. Always take time to warm up before athletic events.
    4. Technology is your friend.
    5. Finish what you start.
    Click here for 5 More Things Your Father Taught You About Sex...turns out he taught you about orgasm order, bondage, and more. (Sorry, Dad.)Read More »from 5 Things Your Father Inadvertently Taught You About Sex
  • Dear Em & Lo: Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Have HPV?

    Last week, Dr. Kate kindly answered a woman's question about whether or not she had to tell her partner she had HPV. This week, we're taking it upon ourselves to answer the same question -- and we're taking no prisoners:

    In a word, YES!

    Everyone has the right to know what they're getting into when they're getting into bed with you. It doesn't matter how pervasive an STD is, how inconsequential it might turn out to be, or how likely it is that you'll eventually get it (or that you already have it) -- everyone deserves to know the truth. So if you know you've got something, you've got to come clean (as it were). f------ is not a right, it's a privilege, and you've got to earn that privilege via honest communication about your bod and where it's been. We're pretty sure the NY Times ethicist would have our back on this.

    If more people fessed up to their sexual health status, then we'd all know a little more about the pervasive STDs that affect us -- and probably not be so

    Read More »from Dear Em & Lo: Do I Have to Tell My Partner I Have HPV?
  • Em & Lo's Wise Guys: What's the Deal with Chivalry?

    Advice from three of our guy friends. This week they answer the following: "What do you think about traditional gestures of chivalry like holding open a door for a woman, holding out her chair at the restaurant, etc? You know, is it just the polite thing to do, are you annoyed you're expected to do these things as if the woman's a baby, does it make you feel good to feel like a caretaker, etc?"

    Straight Single Guy (Chris): I don't know how I compare to the rest of the world of single, straight guys, but I still open doors, hold chairs (though less often than the door), and buy dinners. I'm not exactly sure where in the realm of online dating and pornhub.com chivalry died, but it seems to me that all of my girl friends are going dutch or paying for meals on their dates. I'm not a rich guy, but if I can't afford a nice dinner, I cook one. And if I can afford dinner, I pay for it. I hold doors open because it is the polite thing to do, not because I am stronger than my frail little

    Read More »from Em & Lo's Wise Guys: What's the Deal with Chivalry?

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