Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

  • When Your Husband Is Not a Man

    Amy Bronwen Zemser, just launched her new, provocative mommy blog AmyBronwenZemser.com . At EMandLO.com, we had the honor of publishing an abridged version of one of her recent hilarious posts about coming out, homophobia, and cases of mistaken sexual identity (read the unabridged version here). Enjoy!

    ***

    I'll tell you a secret.

    I still have some internalized homophobia. So I get squeamish when I have to come out.

    I don't have to come out very often, but the situation does arise if I have to, say, switch ophthalmologists. Or if my son Ray wants to play with a child whose parents I do not know. Just recently, after I told the mother of a child in Ray's Suzuki violin class that I was one of two moms, she looked at me with a completely straight face and said, "There was a girl in my daughter's class who had that."

    Had what? The malaise of homosexuality? The disfiguring disease of conjoined motherhood?

    Once, when I was adjuncting at St. John's university, the topic of homosexuality came up.

    "I
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  • Your Weekly Love Life Horoscopes: 10-15-13

    Grand Central stars

    Each week, we at EMandLO.com predict the course of your love life for the week with our own version of irreverent horoscopes - ignore our advice at your own peril! (Hyperbole intended for dramatic effect.)

    aries (Mar. 21st-Apr. 20th)
    It's a common human trait to expect life to be good and to be easy. It's a common human reality that life is often not these things: the sex is bad, or non-existent, and it rarely shows up on your doorstep with no strings attached. But you can help yourself by being proactive, getting off your butt and searching for what it is you want instead of waiting for it to come to you. It's like those people who always say they're bored - the only one responsible for their boredom is themselves.

    taurus (Apr. 21st-May 20th)
    Things to avoid this week: turkey burgers, phallic-shaped fruit, sex with delivery people, tartar-control toothpaste and crack. Things to pursue: love, love, love! Need we say more?

    gemini (May 21st-June 21st)
    You're peppier

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  • Top 10 Timely Halloween Costumes for Couples

    Lo and her guy, two years agoIt's less than three weeks to Halloween, which means that if you plan on doing something more elaborate than throwing a sheet over your head and saying BOO! a lot, you better get your act together soon. So, with that in mind, here are our top ten ideas for timely Halloween costumes for couples. We make no promises that every costume below will kink up your sex life, but you'll certainly have fun trying):

    1. Walt and Jesse from Breaking Bad, in their haz-mat suits and gas masks. (Definitely keep the masks on for sex!)
    2. So you prefer a little teasing and torture, BDSM-style? Then one of you is Jesse in handcuffs and the other is Todd, serving Jesse ice cream (it doesn't have to be Americone Dream, but it can't be vanilla, geddit?).
    3. Last Breaking Bad costume, we swear!: For retro appeal, one of you is Walter White in his grubby, baggy tighty-whities, and the other is a pregnant though emotionally underdeveloped Skylar.
    4. One of you is Justin Bieber in low-slung boxer-briefs, and the
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  • How to Get Over a Breakup...With Breaking Bad

    Breaking Bad Season 5In honor of the last episode ever of Breaking Bad (sniffle), we've reconnoitered our classic "How to Get Over a Breakup" article so Breaking Bad fans the world over can better deal with the loss of their loved one and try to fill the void left behind by the series ending.

    Come here, Baby Blue, and let us give you a big hug. It's going to be alright. Really. However bad it is, someone else has lived through worse before you -- okay, maybe not worse, but nearly as bad (think: The Sopranos, SATC) -- and they didn't lose their job or their marbles in the process. Sure, it might have been touch-and-go at first, but eventually they started watching TV again. Some of them even fell in love with a new show (think: Homeland, House of Cards). It's the cycle of life! Remember, the end of a relationship with an excellent television show doesn't make TV unwatchable, it just makes you feel that way for a while -- unless, of course, you throw out your Panasonic and cancel your Netflix account. Our

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  • I Cheated on My Boyfriend and Don’t Regret It

    Heidi Klum cheated on SealIf you're going to dump someone anyway, should you tell them you cheated on them? Read on for our response.

    Dear Em & Lo,

    So I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years, going on 9. We have been together since high school and are now in our mid twenties. I love him very much and used to see myself spending the rest of my life with him up until just a few weeks ago.

    My girlfriends and I decided to take a little weekend getaway and on our first night there I met the most amazing guy. Instant attraction. We ended up spending the night together which turned into morning. He also ended up switching his flight so we could spend another day together. We met up for the last time and I could honestly say it will be one of the most memorable weekends of my life.

    Now I'm scared to face what this means for my relationship. Am I not as happy as I thought I was? Am I settling because I'm comfortable with my situation? I know nothing could ever become of my weekend

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  • Sex After Miscarriage

    Reconceiving LossReconceiving Loss is a new online resource for people coping with losing a pregnancy or an infant. There are articles on health and wellbeing, yoga and meditation suggestions, and opportunities for healing through creative expression (e.g. writing, photography, even playlist compilation). One of their contributors, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Bindeman, recently wrote about sex after loss for the site, which we're reposting here with permission. Be sure to check out Reconceiving Loss and recommend it to any friends who may be in need. Miscarriage and stillbirth happen more than most realize -- addressing this reality openly is good step forward.

    Re-conceiving Intimacy
    by Dr. Julie Bindeman, Psy-D


    Among the many losses couples face when they lose a pregnancy or an infant is the feeling of being sexually safe. Prior to a loss, sex and expressions of love occurred naturally and spontaneously. Intimacy is no exception to a "before" and "after" designation as so many other

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  • Sex and Dating Acts that Should Have a 24 Hour Waiting Period

    Matching tattoos

    The Washington, D.C., Department of Health just posted proposed tattoo and body piercing regulations, and one of the recommendations is that a 24-hour waiting period be imposed for tattoos. In other words, if you stumble into a tattoo parlor one Saturday night and drunkenly demand a tattoo of Miley Cyrus twerking or a Chinese symbol tramp stamp, you'll be told to sleep it off and come back the next day if you're really sure.

    Call us square, but we don't think it's the worst idea in the world. Here are ten other things we think would benefit from a 24-hour waiting period:

    1. Threeways.
    2. Ex sex.
    3. Matching couples' tattoos.
    4. Sleeping with a co-worker.
    5. Backdoor play (so you can avoid refried beans, stock up on lube, shower, etc).
    6. Spouse-swapping.
    7. Infidelity. (Seriously, we once read a study showing that something like 99.9% of people who jump off a bridge - and live to tell about it - say they regret it right after they leap, and we have a feeling something similar
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  • Are Women Even Less Naturally Monogamous Than Men?

    GirlsDaniel Bergner is one of our favorite writers on the topic of sex. A few years back he wrote the awesome book The Other Side of Desire, which we raved about at the time, and then shortly after he wrote a cover story about female desire for the New York Times magazine, which we also raved about. That article became his new book: What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. We chatted with Daniel about monogamy, erotic distance, ev0-psych crazies, and the lust-killing properties of the flaccid penis…

    EM & LO: Why do we still know so little about female desire, why is it not studied more?

    DANIEL BERGNER: We-our society and our scientists-have spent so long seeing what we wanted to see: female desire as a lesser drive, weak in comparison with male lust. This has been soothing to society and comforting to men. Only lately, as more and more female scientists have begun doing sex research, have we begun to see beyond the distortions.

    One of the major findings presented in

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  • Great Love Texts from Literature: Romeo & Juliet

    Romeo & JulietACT II. SCENE II. Capulet's orchard:

    Juliet: R, where u @?

    [No response.]

    Juliet: helloooo????

    [No response. Juliet starts a new text.]

    Juliet: yo, i think i'm in

    Romeo: o rly?

    Juliet: omg! meant that for my bff, lolz. nvm!

    Romeo: QFT

    Juliet: ???

    Romeo: i feel the same

    Juliet: :)

    Romeo: Didnt respond rite away cuz i was climbing yr fence. im outside rite now.

    Juliet: wut! my rents will kill u if they c u!

    Romeo: wuteva

    Juliet: swoon. (i should b playing harder to get)

    Romeo: ily

    Juliet: plz dont abbreviate THAT

    Romeo: how should i say it?

    Juliet: spell it out

    [Romeo starts typing.]

    Juliet: wait! we r moving 2 fast. gtg. cul8r!

    Romeo: my log is blue

    Juliet: WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

    Romeo: damn you autocorrect! my LOV is TRUE

    Juliet: hahaha! phew!

    Romeo: dont go. I wanna git witchu.

    Juliet: 2nite? no way.

    Juliet: ADIR! brb

    [slight pause]

    Juliet: If ur 4 rlz, take me out 2moro. on a DATE.

    Romeo: will do

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  • Top 5 Reasons Why Sex Makes You Look Younger

    Harold & MaudeA few weeks back when Geraldo Riviera tweeted a topless selfie, a resounding "EWWWW!" went around the Internet. And sure, we get it. It's Geraldo, after all, showing the kind of near-crotch-action that is better suited to Abercrombie & Fitch models. (And he apparently came to his senses pretty quickly: The pic was soon taken down from his Twitter account, replaced by this Tweet: "Note to self: no tweeting after 1am.") But here's the other thing: The dude is seventy. And, you have to admit, he looks pretty good for seventy. Why is it so gross for a man in his seventies to want to show off his bod? Why is the thought of older people being sexual or sensual so ew-worthy in general? On the very rare occasion when you do see an older couple going at it on screen, the horrified reaction in the audience is on a par with when a dog gets blown to bits in an action movie. So we thought we'd share five reasons - according to scientific research - why sex keeps you looking younger. Screw all the

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