Blog Posts by EMandLO.com

  • I Cheated on My Boyfriend and Don’t Regret It

    Heidi Klum cheated on SealIf you're going to dump someone anyway, should you tell them you cheated on them? Read on for our response.

    Dear Em & Lo,

    So I am currently in a relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years, going on 9. We have been together since high school and are now in our mid twenties. I love him very much and used to see myself spending the rest of my life with him up until just a few weeks ago.

    My girlfriends and I decided to take a little weekend getaway and on our first night there I met the most amazing guy. Instant attraction. We ended up spending the night together which turned into morning. He also ended up switching his flight so we could spend another day together. We met up for the last time and I could honestly say it will be one of the most memorable weekends of my life.

    Now I'm scared to face what this means for my relationship. Am I not as happy as I thought I was? Am I settling because I'm comfortable with my situation? I know nothing could ever become of my weekend

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  • Sex After Miscarriage

    Reconceiving LossReconceiving Loss is a new online resource for people coping with losing a pregnancy or an infant. There are articles on health and wellbeing, yoga and meditation suggestions, and opportunities for healing through creative expression (e.g. writing, photography, even playlist compilation). One of their contributors, clinical psychologist Dr. Julie Bindeman, recently wrote about sex after loss for the site, which we're reposting here with permission. Be sure to check out Reconceiving Loss and recommend it to any friends who may be in need. Miscarriage and stillbirth happen more than most realize -- addressing this reality openly is good step forward.

    Re-conceiving Intimacy
    by Dr. Julie Bindeman, Psy-D


    Among the many losses couples face when they lose a pregnancy or an infant is the feeling of being sexually safe. Prior to a loss, sex and expressions of love occurred naturally and spontaneously. Intimacy is no exception to a "before" and "after" designation as so many other

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  • Sex and Dating Acts that Should Have a 24 Hour Waiting Period

    Matching tattoos

    The Washington, D.C., Department of Health just posted proposed tattoo and body piercing regulations, and one of the recommendations is that a 24-hour waiting period be imposed for tattoos. In other words, if you stumble into a tattoo parlor one Saturday night and drunkenly demand a tattoo of Miley Cyrus twerking or a Chinese symbol tramp stamp, you'll be told to sleep it off and come back the next day if you're really sure.

    Call us square, but we don't think it's the worst idea in the world. Here are ten other things we think would benefit from a 24-hour waiting period:

    1. Threeways.
    2. Ex sex.
    3. Matching couples' tattoos.
    4. Sleeping with a co-worker.
    5. Backdoor play (so you can avoid refried beans, stock up on lube, shower, etc).
    6. Spouse-swapping.
    7. Infidelity. (Seriously, we once read a study showing that something like 99.9% of people who jump off a bridge - and live to tell about it - say they regret it right after they leap, and we have a feeling something similar
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  • Are Women Even Less Naturally Monogamous Than Men?

    GirlsDaniel Bergner is one of our favorite writers on the topic of sex. A few years back he wrote the awesome book The Other Side of Desire, which we raved about at the time, and then shortly after he wrote a cover story about female desire for the New York Times magazine, which we also raved about. That article became his new book: What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire. We chatted with Daniel about monogamy, erotic distance, ev0-psych crazies, and the lust-killing properties of the flaccid penis…

    EM & LO: Why do we still know so little about female desire, why is it not studied more?

    DANIEL BERGNER: We-our society and our scientists-have spent so long seeing what we wanted to see: female desire as a lesser drive, weak in comparison with male lust. This has been soothing to society and comforting to men. Only lately, as more and more female scientists have begun doing sex research, have we begun to see beyond the distortions.

    One of the major findings presented in

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  • Great Love Texts from Literature: Romeo & Juliet

    Romeo & JulietACT II. SCENE II. Capulet's orchard:

    Juliet: R, where u @?

    [No response.]

    Juliet: helloooo????

    [No response. Juliet starts a new text.]

    Juliet: yo, i think i'm in

    Romeo: o rly?

    Juliet: omg! meant that for my bff, lolz. nvm!

    Romeo: QFT

    Juliet: ???

    Romeo: i feel the same

    Juliet: :)

    Romeo: Didnt respond rite away cuz i was climbing yr fence. im outside rite now.

    Juliet: wut! my rents will kill u if they c u!

    Romeo: wuteva

    Juliet: swoon. (i should b playing harder to get)

    Romeo: ily

    Juliet: plz dont abbreviate THAT

    Romeo: how should i say it?

    Juliet: spell it out

    [Romeo starts typing.]

    Juliet: wait! we r moving 2 fast. gtg. cul8r!

    Romeo: my log is blue

    Juliet: WTF?!?!?!?!?!?

    Romeo: damn you autocorrect! my LOV is TRUE

    Juliet: hahaha! phew!

    Romeo: dont go. I wanna git witchu.

    Juliet: 2nite? no way.

    Juliet: ADIR! brb

    [slight pause]

    Juliet: If ur 4 rlz, take me out 2moro. on a DATE.

    Romeo: will do

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  • Top 5 Reasons Why Sex Makes You Look Younger

    Harold & MaudeA few weeks back when Geraldo Riviera tweeted a topless selfie, a resounding "EWWWW!" went around the Internet. And sure, we get it. It's Geraldo, after all, showing the kind of near-crotch-action that is better suited to Abercrombie & Fitch models. (And he apparently came to his senses pretty quickly: The pic was soon taken down from his Twitter account, replaced by this Tweet: "Note to self: no tweeting after 1am.") But here's the other thing: The dude is seventy. And, you have to admit, he looks pretty good for seventy. Why is it so gross for a man in his seventies to want to show off his bod? Why is the thought of older people being sexual or sensual so ew-worthy in general? On the very rare occasion when you do see an older couple going at it on screen, the horrified reaction in the audience is on a par with when a dog gets blown to bits in an action movie. So we thought we'd share five reasons - according to scientific research - why sex keeps you looking younger. Screw all the

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  • Why Do Men Cheat Down?

    What a Wiener

    Dear Em & Lo,

    My a-hole live-in boyfriend cheated on me for more than a year before I found out and dumped him. I found out because I was suspicious and snooped on his laptop while he was out and found hundreds of emails between them. I also found photographs of her in these emails. I read the emails from her and she doesn't seem very funny or all that smart, and she's way less attractive than me, too. I'm not a vain person, but I definitely have a better body than she does. I always figured that if he cheated on me, it'd be for someone way hotter and younger, or better than me in some way, someone who offered something I can't. WTF?

    - Too Good for This

    Dear T.G.F.T.S.,

    Who knows why your boyfriend cheated on you with this woman? Maybe she makes a mean blueberry cheesecake, maybe she just luuuurves going down on him, maybe she's rich, maybe she saves baby birds when they fall out of trees, maybe she's going to put your boyfriend in her next movie, maybe she's a good drinking buddy,

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  • 5 Good Ways to Get Over Your Ex

    Woman curled up.This article originally appeared on ArchetypeMe.com:

    Sure, immediately after you've been dumped, you'll probably want to do nothing more than drown your sorrows in cheap wine while watching the entire series of Felicity on Netflix. Twice. But after a while, those hangovers will get old, and you'll find yourself ready to do something other than sob into your pillow. When you reach that point, here are some things to try

    1. Get Busy

    Start a blog, take up a new hobby (preferably one where you'll meet new people, like joining a running club), read a novel, write a novel, paint your room, learn how to take really good photographs, sort out your closet and host a clothing swap, learn chess with a friend, teach yourself Chinese-basically, keep yourself busy with something that will make you feel good about yourself afterwards. (Meaning, watchingFelicity a third time doesn't count.)

    2. Look Better

    We like to call this a "breakover"-because nothing will motivate you more on

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  • Top 5 Love Lessons Learned from the Bachelorette (The Finale)

    ABC's Bachelorette will give one final rose to the guy she believes to be the man of her dreams!Rebound sex, or even a rebound relationship is understandable after a bad breakup. But a rebound engagement? Probably not a good idea (especially if you can't stop crying throughout the entire process).

    Having equally weird families (overly aggro brothers, overly handsy dads, etc) can really bond a couple, because each can understand and empathize with the familial pain and embarrassment of the other.

    Being proud and having a sense of shame have no place in true love. If you have to get your nose adjusted on television with a really unflattering camera angle, you do it. If you have to read your bad "poetry" over and over again in public because the object of your affection enjoys it, you do it. And if you have to settle for second place, you do it.

    In all seriousness: Love doesn't have to be hard. While a chase can make things exciting, if you're really looking for a lifetime marriage, then the practical stuff (kindness, commitment, enthusiasm, stability, willingness to make a fool out

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  • Can You Beat the Urge to Stray with One Freebie a Year?

    Third Wheel
    "If I tell my child, 'No pizza, no pizza, no pizza,' what does he want more than anything Pizza!"

    And so it is with her husband and sex, claims Russian pop star Masha Lopatova. She is married to Andrei Kirilenko, a basketball player for the Brooklyn Nets - and she has told him he can sleep with one woman a year, for one night only.

    We like her reasoning: After all, the forbidden is always more desirable. And so far, it seems to be working: Kirilenko claims he hasn't acted on the offer yet.

    "If something isn't allowed you, you want to get it," he said. "But if it is allowed to you, you will not need it."

    But here's the catch: The agreement is not reciprocal. So what happens, a decade into the marriage, if Lopatova suddenly experiences her urge to stray and is doubly frustrated because (a) she's not allowed to and (b) her husband IS allowed to?

    Also, what if Kirilenko sleeps with one woman one time and then wants the forbidden thing: to see that woman again - without

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